[stylist] Query letter for critique

[Donna Hill]

Julie,
Interesting concept. I think I'd get something about the following sentence
into the first paragraph.
Block quote
The coupons have been designed to fit any stage of a couple's relationship. 
Whether they are newlyweds, celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding
anniversary, have a house full of children, or are empty nesters. 
Block quote end
 
This is a major point in defining the uniqueness of this proposal, and I
think you could re write the first paragraph to reflect that. I'm not
feeling horribly creative at the moment, but something like: Imagine that
just on the eve of a major milestone in your marriage, ... Maybe you
wouldn't give as many examples, maybe that doesn't matter. I just think the
fact that it can be personalized to specific stages of a relationship is
important enough to put up front. 

Then, you can elaborate further into the letter. Also, I'm not sure of the
purpose of this sentence.
Block quote
Similar books currently on the market focus primarily on coupons of an
erotic or sexual nature. 
Block quote end
 It seems like an afterthought or like it should be elaborated upon. It
could even be part of the first paragraph: "There are plenty of coupons of
an erotic or sexual nature out there, but they're not the right thing for
many happily married couples. ...

Also, I'm not sure to whom this goes. Sometimes, different
agents/publishers/publications etc. have specific guidelines for queries;
some include a short statement of other works you've published, writing
experience/education, that sort of thing. There are sample querie letters in
books on publishing and on the web. Just make sure you're in the ball park
for the specific people you're contacting. They usually have a Submission
guidelines section on their sites.
HTH,
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
goldbeckjm at comcast.net
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2013 2:14 AM
To: secrest, morry; Sigg, Christine; tatyana.vaganova107 at gmail.com;
alpine707 at aol.com; awaterlilly at comcast.net; laboheme.orchid at gmail.com
Cc: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Query letter for critique



Imagine receiving a gift book filled with "coupons" that are redeemable for
such services as: a hand massage, one week free of cooking dinner and
washing the dishes, control of the TV remote for an entire weekend, one
romantic evening to be arranged by your spouse, etc. 

  

I have written such a book titled, Couple's Coupons.   It is a gift book
intended for married couples.  The gift book is filled with "coupons" good
for activities, gifts, and special favors.  The premise of the book is for a
husband or wife to give the book to their spouse as a thoughtful, unique
gift. 

  

The recipient would redeem the coupons with their spouse who will provide
the gifts and perform the special favors upon receipt of the coupon. 

  

The coupons have been designed to fit any stage of a couple's relationship. 
Whether they are newlyweds, celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding
anniversary, have a house full of children, or are empty nesters. 

  

Similar books currently on the market focus primarily on coupons of an
erotic or sexual nature. 

  

Thank you for your consideration. 



Sincerely, 

Julie Goldbeck
_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site
http://www.writers-division.net/
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40epix.net