[stylist] The Monkey in the Zoo: creative writing prompt
Barbara Hammel
poetlori8 at msn.com
Wed Jan 30 03:22:50 UTC 2013
I have no critique for you at this time, because I was thrown back to almost
eight years ago in Beijing. Did you go to the Forbidden City, too? I would
have loved to go to Xian. National Geographic has written so many articles
about the terra cotta soldiers and I've devoured every one. My kids are
from Kunming which is up in the mountains and is touted as "the city of four
springs." Every time we mentioned Kunming, the woman who went with us said
the people all got a blissful look on their faces as they said, "Ah,
Kunming." I was really hoping for typical blind kids because I so wanted to
make a trip back to China with them and show the orphanage people--if they
were still there--what became of them.
My favorite part of the acrobat show we saw was about twelve people getting
on a bicycle.
If I'd only known that getting children would send me into a deep
depression, I'd have tried starting on antidepressants before we started.
(Sure would have helped me enjoy a bit more of their new start instead of
how it did begin for them.)
Barbara
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. -- Carl Sandburg
-----Original Message-----
From: Lynda Lambert
Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2013 5:17 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] The Monkey in the Zoo: creative writing prompt
Shawn,
This was such a great description of your trip. I have always thought our
son would return to Vietnam one day, and I think, in time, he will.
Many of the things you saw were very interesting to me from an art history
viewpoint. Of particular of interest to me are the terracotta statues of
Xian. Ancient art has always been one of my loves in life and I would be
mesmerized if I was there in person to witness this sight.
The thing I missed most in your essay is that you never speak of Zebe's
reactions to the return to her birth home in China. I think you could
strengthen the impact of your essay by including some commets from her that
would illustrate what she was feeling, seeing, and experiencing on the trip.
As a teenager returning to her birth place it must have been overwhelming at
times for her to take it all in. The essay was written because of your
daughter so why not give her a voice in it? As a reader, I was waiting to
hear her voice but it never materialized.
Here are a couple of small things that you can fix easily:
1.) First word should be "Ever" rather than Even. I know the fingers do
what they will -
2.) Check the line that states that people "shovel sand on pot of you." I
think you mean, on "TOP of you."
3.) Your sentence structure in places is odd and could be rearranged and
tweaked a bit more for clarity. You can figure those things out by going
over the essay slowly and thinking about how you used verbs.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2013 2:18 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] The Monkey in the Zoo: creative writing prompt
>I wrote a short piece, about 2,000 words for our state affiliate newsletter
>about our recent trip to China. We had adopted Zebe in 1995 (she was
>one-year-old at the time and we had her first birthday in China). We
>recently returned for a homeland tour so that she could see the country
>that she is from. The highlights of the trip are discussed in the article.
>
> Shawn
>
> A Tale of the Freeze Dried Duck, an American family's adventures in China
> By Shawn Jacobson
>
> Even since we adopted Zebe fourteen years ago, we had planned to return to
> China. We wanted to show Zebe the country that she was from. Also, we
> wanted to see more of it ourselves. We had seen some of Hong Kong and
> Guangzhou, but we had not had time or energy to see the rest of the
> country. And besides, getting a child for the first time and learning on
> the fly how to be parents does not go well with intensive tourism.
>
> So after more than a year of planning, we were finally ready. We had our
> passports, visas, tickets and itinerary and were ready to go. We would
> travel for two weeks and visit seven cities in China starting with
> Shanghai. Here we met one of the families that adopted with us and now
> lived in an ex-patriot community northwest of the city.
>
> Our time in Shanghai was primarily a chance to shop and rest up from the
> plane trip. We shopped at the Pearl Market and the Fabric Market both
> large buildings full of small shops and stalls. We bought clothing and
> some people in the group bought pearls. When it was time to try on our
> new clothes, the shopkeeper would make an impromptu dressing room by
> draping cloth across a corner of the stall.
>
> The next stop was Beijing. Here we were constantly busy touring since
> there was a lot to see and experience. The schedule was also compressed
> because we were three hours late getting there from Shanghai. The
> highlight was The Great Wall, which sits to the North of Beijing. The
> section that we toured runs along the top of a mountain ridge and is
> reached by a cable car. As we ascended, I could see on my right the wall
> climbing next to us; I was looking foreword to walking down the wall and
> taking a sled back down to the starting point. However, when we reached
> the top, we found that the section of wall we were at was closed and to
> get to an open section of wall required walking a dangerous path along the
> edge of a cliff. Our guide talked to the guards, and they did let some of
> us go up and walk on a small part of the wall while the more adventuresome
> members of the party took the path.
>
> So at least we got up on the wall. From the top you could see the wall
> snaking off into the mountains beyond us and you could see down into
> valleys on both sides. This is facilitated by the arrow slits carved into
> both sides of the wall. We also got to see one of the old watch towers
> used by soldiers stationed on the wall. I remember ducking under archways
> in this building and looking out the other side to see the wall descend
> down a steep flight of stairs. On the mountain, an exhortation to revere
> the thoughts of Mao was carved into the rock. But the fierce t-shirt
> peddlers we went by on the way down revered only the art of selling. After
> running a two block gauntlet of merchants, we reached the bus and headed
> back into town.
>
> Another interesting activity was the Hu Tong tour. We rode rickshaws
> through an ancient village within Beijing itself. All around us we could
> smell food being cooked and could hear people working on the street and
> repairing buildings (China is always under construction). A highlight of
> the tour came when we had tea with a lady who lived in the village. She
> described her life and explained why she loved living in the village.
> Since her house shared a common courtyard with several other houses, there
> was always someone around to be with.
>
> I was surprised to truly enjoy the acrobat show we saw in Beijing. I felt
> that the performance would be so visual that I wouldn't get anything out
> of it; but I was able to use binoculars to focus in on those performances
> that were on one part of the stage. I particularly enjoyed a performance
> where a lady did various handstands while on a crane that carried her
> around the stage thirty feet in the air. There were many other impressive
> performances in the show.
>
> We next traveled to Xian, to see the Terra Cotta soldiers, a collection of
> statues made two thousand years ago and found in a filed just outside of
> town. In order to preserve the original colors of the statues, most have
> not been removed from the pits where they were found. Before seeing the
> actual soldiers, we toured a factory where replicas are made and had a
> chance to do some shopping. Then it was off to the excavation to see the
> real thing. The most impressive soldier site had ranks of infantry
> soldiers interspersed with terra cotta horses. This area was about the
> size of a football field and had about 7,000 figures. Two smaller sites
> had archers and statues of officers. Each figure has unique facial
> features, but the statues come in a few basic types, infantrymen,
> officers, archers, and horses. A stature of each type was found in a
> museum at the third site.
>
> Xian is also known for its city wall. This wall is forty feet high and
> almost 50 feet across. It stretches for about 8 miles around the old
> city. We were able to go up on the wall and ride in rickshaws (the
> younger people in the group road bicycles) on top of the wall. On the
> inside of the wall was the old city which has its old architecture
> preserved. On the other side is the modern city of Xian with its
> skyscraper towers and modern building design. The wall itself is used by
> the residents of the city for exercise and as a place to enjoy nice days.
>
> Xian was the original capital of China long before Beijing became an
> important city. It also is the start point for the silk-road. While
> there, was saw the Great Mosque of Xian, a mosque built about 1,200 years
> ago by Moslems who came to Xian over the silk-road. This mosque is unique
> in that it is built in the form of a Buddhist temple.
>
> Buddhism is big in China, so we were able to see some truly big Buddhas.
> In Beijing, at the Lama temple, we saw a Buddha that was 90 feet tall and
> was carved out of a single tree. The biggest Buddha we saw was the Leshan
> Giant Buddha. This Buddha is carved out of the side of a cliff over
> confluence of two rivers. I was concerned that I would not be able to see
> the Buddha from the boat, but I need not have worried. We came around a
> bend in the river and there it was; the whole side of the cliff was carved
> into a seated Buddha that was 240 feet high. On either side of the statue
> were sets of steps, I could see people (who looked ant sized by
> comparison) climbing up and down; when passing in front of the statue,
> they were about the height of the Buddha's toes.
>
> We saw this mountain of a Buddha on the way from Chengdu, the next city on
> our itinerary, to the Bifengxia panda base. This panda base is in the
> mountains near Ya An where we stayed the night before going to the
> preserve. We saw about 20 pandas in several different enclosures. The
> pandas were playing in the mud, so they weren't black and white, as you
> would expect, but were dark tan and black instead. We even got to see a
> baby panda that was small enough to fit on your hand. My son Stephen got
> a good picture of the little panda. While there, we ran into a group of
> school children and they used us to practice their English skills.
>
> Chengdu was where we stayed at the most unique hotel on our trip, the
> Ginli Hotel. This was a traditional Chinese courtyard hotel, each room
> opened directly onto a courtyard or the street. One noteworthy aspect was
> the breakfast we received there. This traditional Chinese snack breakfast
> was brought to our rooms every morning in a wicker basket. The breakfast
> consisted of an egg and a carton of milk in the top basket and a sweet
> potato and an ear of corn in the bottom basket. Once we ate what we
> wanted (the milk tasted strange) we got coffee and finished our breakfast
> at the Starbuck's near the hotel.
>
> Both the hotel and the Starbuck's were on a pedestrian mall that stretched
> for several blocks through downtown Chengdu. The mall featured small
> shops and other merchants (including a man who made candy in the shapes of
> animals) and restaurants. One evening, we ate dinner in an open-air
> restaurant just down the street from the hotel.
>
> Our last day in Chengdu, we went to Luodai, a preserved village from very
> early China. Here, the women could try on traditional Chinese dresses and
> have their picture taken. While they were doing that, Stephen and I stood
> on the side of the street and watched people parade by in their costumes.
> Luodai means "lost belt" in Chinese; the village got its name because one
> of the early residents lost his belt down the village well. We were able
> to see where the old well had been.
>
> That afternoon, we flew from Chengdu to Xiamen, the city where we adopted
> Zebe. We were curious about how the city had changed since we were there
> 14 years ago. When we arrived, we saw that the city had changed quite a
> bit. The tall buildings that had been under construction when we adopted
> Zebe had been completed along with many other skyscrapers. We visited a
> hot springs resort that had been built after we were last in Xiamen. One
> neat thing to do was to sit in the fish pool while little fish ate the
> dead skin off of your body. It took a while for me to get used to the
> tickling sensation, but eventually, I relaxed and enjoyed it. We also had
> a Chinese head massage and a "hot rocks" message where you lay down in a
> pit and have people shovel sand on pot of you (don't read any horror
> stories before doing this). The sand helps keeps you warm so that you
> sweat.
>
> On our last day in Xiamen, we went to the orphanage where we first met
> Zebe. Like the rest of the city, the place had changed a lot. The
> original building where we had received Zebe had been torn down and a
> twenty-story building to house children and seniors was being built in its
> place. We saw the lady who was the orphanage administrator. We exchanged
> gifts and we give them some money to help with the building. Everyone
> cried. While there we saw two children who were going to be adopted very
> soon.
>
> That afternoon, we flew back to Shanghai and Zebe and Chris (a friend who
> went with us) had a combined birthday party. The party was at the Monk, a
> pub near where our friends lived. Scott, who had been with us on our
> first trip, played the sax in a band that played at the club and his band
> played happy birthday for us. We were reminded of Zebe's first birthday
> which we had in Xiamen.
>
> While in China, we had many adventures and unique experiences to numerous
> to mention here. One of the most memorable experiences we had come after
> Zebe found a wallet in the tour bus in Xiamen. When the driver saw the
> wallet, he knew who it belonged to. It belonged to his friend who worked
> on the buses. When his friend got his wallet back, he was ecstatic (you
> don't want to lose your ID card in China) and he gave Zebe several gifts.
> One of these was a freeze dried duck (that's right, the whole duck bill,
> feet, and all). We weren't sure what we would do with it, but that
> decision was taken out of our hands by the customs agents in Newark when
> we arrived. You can't take a freeze dried duck into the country.
>
> So the duck didn't make it back with us, but our memories can't be taken
> away. Adopting Zebe was a wonderful, scary, challenging experience and
> this vacation was also a wonderful experience with its own adventures.
> Though we will probably never get back to China, we will remember these
> trips forever.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda
> Lambert
> Sent: Monday, January 28, 2013 12:16 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] The Monkey in the Zoo: creative writing prompt
>
> I enjoyed reading this, too, Barbara. My husband and I had three little
> girls and then decided we could make room for another couple of children
> in our hears and home. We adoped a little boy from Vietnam who is
> Vietnamese and Black; and we adopted a little girl from Korea in the 70s.
>
> One day some people from out of town were trying to find our house. They
> stopped in the town to ask a policeman for directions. He said, "OH, that
> is the international family. Follow me, I will take you there." Our
> friends had a police escort out of town and directly to our front door
> that day.
>
> Our son is now 42 years old, married to a physician and has a delightful
> daughter who is in her first year of college at Mt. Holyoke College in MA.
> He is a highschool counselor in Maryland.
>
> Our daughter was 9 years old when she came to America. She is a mom of two
> children and lives in Wisconsin.
>
> Holidays at our home are a celebration of cultures and we have a full
> house as they all come "home" every Christmas.
>
> In addition to those two children, we had several foster children over the
> years as well. These days, it is cats and dogs that fill our days and keep
> us busy.
>
> Lynda
> Lynda Lambert
> 104 River Road
> Ellwood City, PA 16117
>
> 724 758 4979
>
> My Blog: http://www.walkingbyinnervision.blogspot.com
> My Website: http://lyndalambert.com
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, January 28, 2013 10:54 AM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] The Monkey in the Zoo: creative writing prompt
>
>
>> Barbara
>>
>> My experience adopting a daughter in China was very similar. There were
>> three of us western couples with Chinese babies. We were always the
>> center of attention.
>>
>> Shawn
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara
>> Hammel
>> Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 11:00 PM
>> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>> Subject: [stylist] The Monkey in the Zoo: creative writing prompt
>>
>> Okay, I know this is short, but is this sort of what this is supposed to
>> look like?
>>
>> THE MONKEY IN THE ZOO
>>
>> by Barbara Hammel
>>
>>
>>
>> I knew that visiting another country would be interesting, but I never
>> imagined the people would find me so fascinating. Or was it the twin
>> boys?
>> Or the sighted man with a blind woman and a sighted woman and the blind
>> twin boys?
>>
>>
>>
>> By this time we'd acquired one stroller and my husband was pushing that
>> but I wanted a break from carrying the other in a backpack.
>>
>>
>>
>> We got into the cage--I mean stopped at a bench--to take a rest. Before
>> we
>> knew it, we were surrounded by silent onlookers who, along with everyone
>> else we met on that trip, kept giving my husband the thumbs-up. (Was it
>> the two blind boys are the two women or all of us and our purpose that
>> made them do this.)
>>
>>
>>
>> It took me back to my days at the Braille School when schoolchildren
>> would
>> take tours. (It is the school Mary Ingalls attended, after all.) We would
>> always have to demonstrate how to write their names in Braille so a
>> hundred--or maybe just seven or eight--would gather around the desk and
>> not just stand there, but lean over me and the desk and the
>> Braillewriter.
>>
>>
>>
>> Now this happened to us everywhere we went in China. (I often wonder if
>> that article the journalist was doing ever got published?)
>>
>> I guess we were a human interest story since we were adopting boys, a
>> rarity in that country, and I'm blind. I just wonder what they thought
>> about us, and I wonder how they thought each of us fit in the picture.
>>
>>
>>
>> Never mind, after all. We were just monkeys in the zoo, odd sorts of
>> beings because our eyes don't see and those two sighted people were just
>> our
>>
>> handlers.
>>
>>
>>
>> Barbara
>>
>>
>>
>> Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. -- Carl Sandburg
>> _______________________________________________
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>
>
>
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