[stylist] balancing with fiction
Myrna Badgerow
kajuncutie926 at aol.com
Fri Mar 29 18:26:51 UTC 2013
No worries, Donna. So you lose brain cells that way too?
When I read the poem I immediately thought of both my grandmother and Mr. Arnie. Your thoughts of your art director could fit my grandmother as well. Chris did such a great job with this! It is in my NFB writers folder now.
Sent from my iPhone
On Mar 29, 2013, at 12:34 PM, "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net> wrote:
> Myrna,
> My apologies. I don't know why, but I addressed this message to Eve. There
> go another hundred thousand brain cells.
> Donna
>
> Your comments made me realize one reason I like this so much. It reminds me
> of the industrial arts director in my novel, Phesty Mushrot, whom I describe
> as "a short, strong, fireplug of a man."
> Donna
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Myrna
> Badgerow
> Sent: Friday, March 29, 2013 12:49 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] balancing with fiction
>
> I was smiling as I read the 'towering' line because it reminded me of what
> my brother would say about my grandmother. 'She is 4 foot 11 but can scare
> you like 6 foot 8! And he was right!
> Chris, I loved the piece. It also reminded me of an old guy who frequented
> my brother's restaurant. I visualize Arnie as I read this. Great job!
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Mar 29, 2013, at 11:22 AM, "Lynda Lambert" <llambert at zoominternet.net>
> wrote:
>
>> Robert, I had the exact same reaction. I stopped JAWS and went back to
> have it read again. I was so surprised by this.
>> Lynda
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Robert Leslie Newman"
>> <newmanrl at cox.net>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, March 29, 2013 10:19 AM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] balancing with fiction
>>
>>
>>> Chris
>>>
>>> Enjoyed the piece -- good flowing characterization. One question - in
>>> the first sentence in your description of the philosopher you write-
>>> "....Valmore is a towering five-foot-six, bald..."
>>>
>>> Interesting you have towering and five foot six in the same
>>> description. One of my first thoughts was it was a mistake. The next
>>> thought was MMM, I suppose a small dog peeing on a fireplug might look up
> and think "towering."
>>> But then, the it incongruence in the modifier "towering" to the guys
>>> height does add an interesting twist of thought, of --- maybe
>>> personal appearance coupled with force of personality, may give him
>>> this orah; or so he may think so.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris
>>> Kuell
>>> Sent: Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:06 PM
>>> To: Stylist
>>> Subject: [stylist] balancing with fiction
>>>
>>> There's been a lot of poetry on the list of late, which is great. But
>>> I thought I'd balance the mix with an experimental piece of fiction.
>>> Just beware--the language is rated R.
>>>
>>> Barroom Philosopher
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> By Chris Kuell
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore is a towering five-foot-six, bald, with a mortar-block neck.
>>> His shoulders are broad and strong, like a fireman, or a long
>>> shoreman, or the foreman of a coal mining crew. You've seen him
>>> bounce druggies, skin-heads, wanna-be prize fighters--bend a quarter with
> his bare hands.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says, "One more."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says he thinks the Giants may pull it out this year, and
>>> never underestimate the Red Sox.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says be good to your mother. Help her out. Explain the DVD
>>> player, again, and no back talk.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says that the most wonderful sight in the world is the head
>>> of a trout as it breaks the surface of the water and swallows the
>>> mayfly on the end of your line.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore puts down a fresh beer and says, "This one's on the house."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says wind is the most under-estimated element, and grass
>>> shacks are flat shacks. People who buy waterfront property get what they
> deserve.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says to stay away from high tech stocks for a while. Put your
>>> money on Chinese imports and wind mills.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says Giuliani is dangerous, says this while toweling the
>>> bar--polishing, whispering, lilting, raving--that thick stump of a
>>> head turned down your way and cocked to one side.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says the finest moment in the world is when you walk out of a
>>> stuck elevator and breathe in fresh air, even if it's full of second
>>> hand smoke, the stench of leftover kimchi from somebody's lunch, and
>>> some old lady's overly-floral perfume.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says that if you're lost, ask a blind guy for directions-they
>>> always know where they are.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says, "One more."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says the most complicated thing in the world is to lead a
>>> simple life, so you'd better be starting. And always wear a tie to a
> funeral.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the
> night.
>>> Never advise someone to go to war, or to get married.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says the city is no place for a dog.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says he's never had a bad blowjob. Some were better than
>>> others, but he's never had a bad one.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says to keep track of the shadows that come up behind you on
>>> the sidewalk, because the bastards are waiting to kill you.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says, "Last one."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says nothing is as far away as one minute ago. And regret
>>> over wasted time is more wasted time.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says to beware of young doctors and old barbers. Never let a
>>> doctor with a big class ring give you a rectal exam.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore turns the lights down, pours himself a shot and says the best
>>> thing you can do is comfort a crying child. Hold her hand, make him
>>> laugh, give 'em a hug. Fuck what anybody else says.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Valmore says, "Go home."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
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