[stylist] {Disarmed}Lesson from Fiction Editor Beth Hill on subordinate clauses & punctuation FW: [New post] Commas with Subordinate Clauses-A Reader's Question

Fri Aug 1 23:37:33 UTC 2014

Donna,
And we expect immigrants to learn English!
Seriously, this is interesting, but a challenge when using JAWS where you
have to either slow the entire thing down to a crawl, or go word by word,
and process it visually inside your head. While I have an innate sense of
what is wrong and what is the right usage just from listening to it with the
commas, I do not ever remember being taught the concepts with all the
verbiage.
It is a good thing there are editors!

Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz	 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Applebutter
Hill via stylist
Sent: Friday, August 01, 2014 11:55 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: [stylist] {Disarmed}Lesson from Fiction Editor Beth Hill on
subordinate clauses & punctuation FW: [New post] Commas with Subordinate
Clauses-A Reader's Question

Hi Fellow Writers,
We have occasionally talked about the finer points of sentence structure and
editing on this list. I just came across this and I post it in memory of our
dear Lori Stayerm the master of grammar.
Donna

  _____  

From: The Editor's Blog [mailto:donotreply at wordpress.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, July 30, 2014 10:31 PM
To: dwhill at epix.net
Subject: [New post] Commas with Subordinate Clauses-A Reader's Question

Fiction Editor Beth Hill posted: "A reader asked about commas with
subordinate---also known as dependent---clauses. Because the topic covers
several issues and because I was already working on one of the sub-topics
for another article, I thought I'd answer the question in an article rathe" 

New post on The Editor's Blog 

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Commas
<http://theeditorsblog.net/2014/07/30/commas-with-subordinate-clauses-a-read
ers-question/> with Subordinate Clauses-A Reader's Question

by Fiction  <http://theeditorsblog.net/?author=1> Editor Beth Hill 

A reader asked about commas with subordinate---also known as
dependent---clauses. Because the topic covers several issues and because I
was already working on one of the sub-topics for another article, I thought
I'd answer the question in an article rather than in the comment section.

 ___________________

The Question

I'm having trouble knowing when to put a comma before a subordinate clause.
For instance, why would there not be a comma before after in The police
officer pleaded guilty to careless driving after crashing his car into a
fence, yet there would be a comma before after in the sentence The police
officer, after cashing his car into a fence, pleaded guilty to careless
driving. Since you can move the "after . . ." part of the sentence around,
why is it considered essential?

 ___________________

The Answer

This is a great question because it delves into specifics of comma use with
dependent clauses.

Because there are several types of dependent clauses---adjective, adverbial,
and noun---this topic could get wordy if I tried to cover all of them. I'm
going to focus on adverbial clauses since they're usually the ones that
cause the most problems and because the example in the reader's question
uses an adverbial clause.

A few details first---

An independent or main clause can stand alone as a sentence. It has a
subject and a verb and conveys a complete thought.

The ball belongs to Alice.

The ball rolled down the hill.

The ball was red.

A dependent or subordinate clause can't stand alone as a sentence. It does
have a subject and a verb, but it doesn't convey a complete thought. It
depends on other sentence elements (typically an independent clause) to give
it meaning.

Because the ball belonged to Alice

After the ball rolled down the hill

Since the ball was red

These are incomplete sentences  because they don't convey a complete
thought.

Because the ball belonged to Alice, what?

After the ball rolled down the hill, what happened?

Since the ball was red, what?

An adverbial clause often starts with a subordinating conjunction. A short
list of subordinating conjunctions:

although

after

as

because

before

once

since

though

until

when

while

A subordinate clause that stands alone is a sentence fragment. Students are
taught to not use sentence fragments, but fiction writers use them all the
time for effect and rhythm.

"Why'd you steal the code?"

"Because I can."

----------

Yeah, I planned on heading home. After I finished what I came to do.

While we can use dependent clauses as sentence fragments, most of the time
we don't. We usually pair them with at least one independent clause and
create sentences.

The dependent clause can come before the independent one, after it, or it
can come in the middle of it, interrupting the independent clause. Comma use
is partly dependent upon where the dependent clause falls in relation to the
independent clause.

Independent clauses often come first in our text, but putting dependent
clauses first gives us variety in sentence construction.

Dependent Clause Before Independent Clause

When an adverbial dependent clause comes before the independent clause, we
put a comma after the dependent clause (between the clauses). We don't have
to give any consideration to the topic of essential or nonessential---when
the dependent clause comes before the independent, use a comma to separate
them.

When I saw the destruction, I cried.

After the ball, Cinderella had to run home.

Although he turned down the job, the company did pay his travel expenses.

After crashing his car into a fence, the police officer pleaded guilty to
careless driving.

Okay, that was the easy one. Let's look at the next construction.

Dependent Clause After Independent Clause

When a dependent clause (we're still talking adverbial clauses beginning
with a subordinating conjunction) comes after the independent clause, most
of the time there is no comma.

I cried when I saw the destruction.

Cinderella had to run home after the ball.

The police officer pleaded guilty to careless driving after crashing his car
into a fence.

The company did pay Mark's travel expenses, although he turned down the
job.*

The exceptions

~ * There is a comma in the fourth example because the dependent clause
begins with although, an adverb of concession. The adverbs of concession set
up contrast clauses. Adverbs of concession include though, although, even
though, and whereas. Use commas to introduce dependent clauses beginning
with these words, even when the independent clause comes first.

She said it boldly, although I didn't believe her.

My mother put on her dress, though it was still covered in mud.

John got out after six months, whereas Martin had to serve his full two-year
sentence.

~  While, when it means as, is simply a subordinating conjunction. However,
when while means whereas, it is being used as an adverb of concession and
would be preceded by a comma after an independent clause. Think contrast.

The delivery guy waited in the pouring rain while [as] the little boy
counted out his pennies.

The delivery guy waited at the door, while [whereas] his supervisor waited
in the dry car.

~  The subordinating conjunction because, when it begins a dependent clause
after an independent clause, usually gets no comma. Yet there is one
instance when because is preceded by a comma in this sentence
position---when the independent clause contains a negative verb.

We use commas in such sentences to eliminate possible confusion.

She didn't run toward the house because she was afraid.

Without a comma, this sentence could be read two ways. But the reader has no
way of knowing which reading is correct.

Either she didn't run toward the house due to her fear (because she was
afraid, which is likely what we want to say) or she didn't run toward the
house not because she was afraid, but for some other reason, a reason not
mentioned in this sentence. If a reason other than fear was involved, go
ahead and spell that out.

She didn't run toward the house because she was afraid, but because she was
eager to meet the ghost.

But if you want the first meaning, using because to mean due to her fear,
adding a comma lets the reader know the reason for not running was because
of her fear.

She didn't run toward the house, because she was afraid.

The same reasoning is true for the next example.

Larry couldn't grab all the marbles because they'd rolled down the hill.

Without a comma, this could mean Larry couldn't grab all the marbles not
because they'd rolled down the hill, but because of another reason
altogether.

Larry couldn't grab all the marbles because they'd rolled down the hill, but
because the two little boys snatched them up.

But if you want the other meaning, Larry not being able to grab them because
they rolled down the hill, use a comma before because to show this.

Larry couldn't grab all the marbles, because they'd rolled down the hill.

~  Use a comma to separate the dependent clause from the independent when it
follows the independent one if the dependent clause is nonessential. Keep in
mind, however, that many dependent clauses will be essential and will not
require a comma.

Determining if the dependent clause is essential or nonessential can be
tricky, but for nonessential in this construction, think parenthetical. If
you could set the dependent clause apart from the independent clause by
using a dash or parentheses-if it makes sense to do so and it is your
intention to do so-you can also use a comma. When you use the comma (or dash
or parentheses), you are declaring the dependent clause nonessential.

Showing that a clause is nonessential may be easier to do if you adjust the
word choices.

Dexter went to jail after ten years on the run. (essential)

Compare to

Dexter finally went to jail, after ten years on the run. (nonessential)

Dexter finally went to jail---after ten years on the run.

The original sentence says that Dexter went to jail after being on the run
for ten years. The next two say that Dexter finally went to jail---it
happened to be after ten years on the run, but the thrust is that he finally
went. The word choices and use or non-use of the comma give meaning to the
sentences.

What's important here is that the writer has a choice and the choice will
direct the meaning of the sentence. This is not an instance when you must
use a comma, as you do when naming a spouse---My husband, Zane, is not a
cowboy. You choose comma or no comma, nonessential or essential, depending
on what you want the sentence to say. (Keep in mind that we're still looking
at dependent clauses after independent ones.)

A couple more examples---

Lana gave up looking before she found her sister. (essential)

Lana gave up looking ten years ago, before she discovered her sister was
actually her mother. (nonessential)

Lana gave up looking ten years ago (before she discovered her sister was
actually her mother).

--------

Frances gave me her fork after the dog licked it. (essential)

Frances gave me her fork, after she let the dog lick it. (nonessential)

Frances gave me her fork---after she let the dog lick it.

Dependent Clause Within Independent Clause

A dependent clause can be nestled inside an independent clause. When a
dependent clause is within the independent one, it's an interrupter. An
interrupter simply breaks the flow of a sentence, and there are many
different kinds, not just dependent clauses. A single word, a phrase, or a
clause can interrupt an independent clause, and interrupters include
adverbs, participial phrases, absolute phrases, nonessential clauses,
appositives, digressions, parentheticals, commentary, and asides. Any time
these items interrupt a sentence---interrupt an independent clause---they
are nonessential elements and need to be separated from the independent
clause with punctuation.

We typically use commas both before and after most interrupters, yet you
could use dashes or parentheses.

The man, breathing heavily, couldn't call out for help.

Elton and Carl, recklessly and without warning, jumped off the roof.

Tina, surprisingly, didn't faint.

Bettina, the strong one, did faint.

My best friend, Jilly, is coming for the weekend.

Tennessee and Georgia, because they couldn't agree on water rights, went to
war.

The police officer, after crashing his car into a fence, pleaded guilty to
careless driving.

The information between the commas could be lifted out of the sentences and
these sentences would still make sense in terms of both grammar and meaning.
Would still be true. That is, taking out the dependent clauses would not
negate the other parts of the sentence. The information between the commas
is nonessential. The information may add details, but taking it out wouldn't
change the major thrust of the sentence or have readers trying to figure out
what was going on. The sentences without the nonessential words, phrases,
and clauses can stand on their own.

Note: Some sentences can be tricky. While it may seem obvious that the
examples listed above require commas, do note that some sentences work both
with commas and without; the difference is in their meanings. (This note has
more to do with the differences between nonessential and essential than with
dependent clauses and commas, yet since this topic is related, I'm including
some details here.)

An example---

The pitcher, who had played ball as a boy, joined the senior circuit.

The pitcher who had played ball as a boy joined the senior circuit.

Both of these sentences are correct, but they have different meanings.

The first is talking about the pitcher, one who had been mentioned before or
the only one around---maybe the one standing on the pitcher's mound. The
information about him playing ball as a boy does not identify the
pitcher---it simply gives us more information about the man we have already
identified as the pitcher.

In the second sentence, the information about one of the pitchers playing
ball as a boy identifies which pitcher we're talking about. It's info
essential to identify the pitcher.

For more details about nonessential and essential phrases and commas, see
Restrictive or Not---When Do Clauses
<http://theeditorsblog.net/2012/09/17/restrictive-or-not-when-do-clauses-nee
d-commas/> Need Commas and Treating Dependents and Subordinates
<http://theeditorsblog.net/2013/07/12/treating-dependents-and-subordinates-p
roperly/> Properly.

____________________________

 This article covered a lot of detail. Keep in mind that while we were
looking at commas with dependent clauses, we were specifically looking at
adverbial clauses beginning with subordinating conjunctions.

 ***

Fiction  <http://theeditorsblog.net/?author=1> Editor Beth Hill | July 30,
2014 at 10:30 pm | Tags: clauses
<http://theeditorsblog.net/?taxonomy=post_tag&term=clauses> , commas
<http://theeditorsblog.net/?taxonomy=post_tag&term=commas> ,
nonessential/essential
<http://theeditorsblog.net/?taxonomy=post_tag&term=nonessentialessential> ,
subordinating
<http://theeditorsblog.net/?taxonomy=post_tag&term=subordinating-conjunction
s> conjunctions | Categories: A
<http://theeditorsblog.net/?taxonomy=category&term=a-reader-asks> Reader
Asks..., Grammar
<http://theeditorsblog.net/?taxonomy=category&term=grammar-punctuation> &
Punctuation | URL: http://wp.me/p1elGx-161 

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