[stylist] New Poem "Scenic Iowa"

[Miss Thea]

Hi, Shawn.
I really liked the first part of the poem. You used concrete descriptions, 
such as mountains, roaring ocean waves, twinkling city-scapes, to describe 
what Iowa is not.
Somewhere in the poem, though, you traded the concrete for the abstract.
I liked the part about the garden and the daylily. That was concrete.
This is something I struggle with myself.
I say things like "contentment fell like a velvet blanket", when what I 
should say is "Mother sipped her tea, smiling, while Father read the 
newspaper. Susie, sprawled out on the carpet in her pajamas, petted the dog 
and laughed at Steve Urkel on TV, who had managed to turn Carl's face purple 
again. The scene ended with Steve's famous line, 'Did I do that'? before the 
commercial came on.
"He's crazy," said Jonathan, grinning and licking  an ice cream cone over by 
the sink, smiling as if he were glimpsing into Heaven.

I would love to see this poem again, the first stanza as it was, but the 
second stanza as it would look, feel, taste, sound, etc. Give me Iowa to 
touch, see, hear, smell, and then I'll conclude that it "walks through the 
soul" and "brings contentment".
Happy writing,
Thea
-----Original Message----- 
From: Jacobson, Shawn D via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 11, 2014 8:13 AM
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List (stylist at nfbnet.org)'
Subject: [stylist] New Poem "Scenic Iowa"

OK folks.
Here's another poem for anyone who wants to look at it.
I apologize for not getting to Jackie's poem, I'm either real busy (or it's 
a slow day and I forget that the poems were sent.
Shawn
Scenic Iowa
by Shawn Jacobson
Scenic Iowa does not awe with mighty mountains
or roar with crashing ocean waves.
She does not amaze with stark desert vistas
crowned with wondrous red rocks,
nor does she dazzle with towering cityscapes
crowned with a myriad twinkling lights.
You are in your aunt's garden.  The daylily was inspired by father;
this bench is in honor of mother scenic Iowa appears.
For the sight of many living things comes together in new beauty
from the welter of things alive.
You walk central campus, Buildings new and old share the horizon.
Great trees stretch in evening's coolness.  Scenic Iowa appears.
For this place that time and adventure taught you to love
will not be yours much longer.  You will be gone.
Family and friends await you smiling.
You have come far to see this over the great dark highway
through cities, mountains and storms.
The time here is short, the future uncertain,
scenic Iowa is in the savoring of precious time.
Scenic Iowa is modest, chaste, reclusive
coming to those she knows as friend.
Her joys are unexpected arising at their own time.
She walks your soul with subtlety quiet and serene.
She walks with you seldom seen, but always there.

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