[stylist] Transportation and help when needed
Bridgit Pollpeter
bpollpeter at hotmail.com
Tue Jan 28 04:52:33 UTC 2014
I completely relate, Lynda.
Most the friends I had before blindness are no longer friends, and the
few I do, I no longer see on a regular basis. I've made very few new
friends, and of these new friends, most are blind too.
It's like the minute I lost my sight, I also lost the person I was.
People just assume I will have nothing in common with them because
blindness is such a vastly different experience. I still enjoy all the
same things as before, many being so-called visual things, yet most
can't get over the blindness.
My family has never been close, at least not like some families. Ross
and I are pretty independent and don't require much daily or even weekly
assistance. We use various tools, methods and products to do things, at
least when they are necessary. The biggest help I need most weeks is
making sure Declan's clothes are all matched and no major stains. I
safety pin outfits together, but every now and then items go missing.
This, I've found, has been the biggest obstacle as a blind parent so
far, grin. My family isn't always sensitive though to the times we could
use some sighted help. And transportation is very difficult to come by
in particular with them.
As a blind person, I don't always know if people are outside unless they
make obvious noise. When I hear neighbors, I say high, but my husband
and I have been in our yard , knowing the neighbors we share a fence
line with are also out, and they never are the first to say high. So
this makes meeting neighbors difficult. Oddly enough, when Declan is
with us, neighbors are more likely to initiate conversation than when we
are alone. Funny that a 17-month-old acts as a buffer, LOL!
I know some blind people who seem to have transportation available at a
moments notice from family and friends, but this just isn't the case for
us. In the warm months, taking the bus or walking isn't a problem, but
this time of year, especially with the current weather, it's not always
an option when I have baby. Ross takes a bus to work every day, and
while in school, I took a bus, but I'm not comfortable dragging Declan
out in the winter on a bus unless absolutely necessary. Cabs are pretty
reliable here, but it can be costly depending on where you go.
I think this is an issue most blind people deal with. Those of us who
once could drive always lament about the loss of driving, and those who
never could drive, wish they had had the opportunity. Like all other
issue we deal with, because we are a small minority, not much is done to
assist the situation.
Bridgit
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda
Lambert
Sent: Monday, January 27, 2014 9:47 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Transportation and help when needed
Transportation is a problem most of us face. When my husband
collapsed
and was unconscious last week, it really hit me when I realized I could
not
even get a mile away to the hospital by myself. Most of the time I
don't
think a lot about my sight loss, but I just keep on going doing what I
can
do but when faced with anything that requires transportation, I would be
helpless without hubby or my granddaughter who lives near me. Without
them,
I cannot even imagine what my life would be like. There would be nowhere
I
could walk to from where I live. Everything requires a trip in the car.
I can understand what Bridgit has said about making friends in the
neighborhood - I think it would be very difficult to move into a new
neighborhood and get to know people when you are blind. Most sighted
people
would just not know what to do or how to be around blind people because
most
of them have never encountered blind people in a personal setting and
they
would not know how to deal with it. I think they see us as nearly
helpless,
foreign, and that they would have nothing in common with us and they are
not
about to change their mind regardless of anything.
I can relate to the comments that Peter has sent. I lost my sight 6 1/2
years ago. Along with the sight loss are the personal losses we all have
(at
least most of us). We lose family members, people we thought of as great
friends, jobs, and ability to get from one place to another by
ourselves.
My sight loss became an enormous chasm between me and so many people in
my
world at that time. I would never have believed it had I not lived it.
I
lost my sight, but I did not lose "me." I am still the same person I was
then, with all the same delights and passions but instantly when we
become
blind, we are not the same to everyone else around us. And, I think, we
become their worst nightmare - that of being blind. We cannot be healed;
we
cannot be changed back to who we were before; and we cannot continue our
relationship with them in the same way. So, they avoid us as much as
possible. But, they watch us from a distance.
My husband is doing ok, he has to go to the drs. for follow up from the
testing that was done last week. He has always been the neighborhood
"energizer bunny." He is a total workaholic. He forgets to eat, and I
think
that is what happened to him. He had not eaten since the afternoon
before he
collapsed - and that was at 1:30 pm, when I made him stop in the
restaurant
for a late lunch that day. He is just the kind of person who has no
interest in food or eating, and has to be reminded a lot that he needs
to
eat. He has always been like this - nothing new. But at age 73 it's
more
important than ever to be eating regular meals - which he does NOT do.
Thanks for asking.
Today, I am sending some quarts of my homemade soup to two neighbors. I
like
to send little surprises to them now and then, and its very cold and
been
snowing for days - they will enjoy this delicious Tomato Vegetable
Soup.
My husband had some last night, after it was made, and he told me he
thinks
it's the most delicious soup he has ever eaten. Wow! That was nice to
hear.
I hope the neighbors like it as well. One neighbor has an autistic son
who
has to be watched constantly - Bob helps them out as much as he can with
their driveway, or parking, and today, some hot soup. This is a very old
village and many of the people who live here, like us, go back
generations,
to the late 1700s in this village. So, that is why we all know each
other.
The town is 2 miles from here, and even there everyone knows who
everyone
else is even if they don't know them personally. When this happened to
Bob
last week, I heard someone say, "That is the Lambert's", and I turned
around
and said, "Yes, we are the Lamberts." The city and all the surrounding
areas would have only about 5,000 population. When you meet someone new
here, they will say, "what year did you graduate?" It is assumed you
are
from here, and knowing when you graduated places you in perspective with
themselves. It is very funny! My sister says, it is clanish! lol It's
very
typical, rural, Pennsylvania. Any blind services I received came from 2
hours away. And, I know Donna lives across the state which is in the
mountains, and it would be pretty much the same there unless you are in
one
of the cities, and this is why I was not very happy to hear that
university
profs. would expect her to just show up to do a little presentation -
there's a lot more involved with it than just doing that.
It is so unrealistic, given the topography and the transportation
issues. Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Peter Donahue" <pdonahue2 at satx.rr.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Cc: <braille at satx.rr.com>
Sent: Monday, January 27, 2014 8:45 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Transportation and help when needed
> Good morning everyone,
>
> We've had the same issues here. In a city as large as San Antonio
> it's
> inexcusable that there aren't organizations that operate pools of
> individuals willing to assist blind and other disabled individuals
with
> such tasks as providing transportation particularly in to areas not
served
> by public transportation or serve as readers. We have snail mail here
> that's a year and a half old. Some of the items may be checks which
would
> come in handy right now.
>
> I have family members living near by but asking them for assistance
> is
> a kin to opening a nasty can of worms! My sister offered to take one
of
> Mary's watches in to have some links taken out of the band but
wouldn't
> commit to a time to return it to her. After an inflammatory
conversation
> she angrily drove in to town to return Mary's watch. We appreciate
their
> willingness to help when the spirit moves them but not the catfights
that
> often go along with it.
>
> Even in situations when we've offered to pay someone to take us
> somewhere we've received 0 response. There are services we could apply
for
> but must do it in person. Getting transportation to these providers
has
> become a thorn in our side and we're really getting tired of it!
Perhaps
> the NFB through the Jernigan Institute and working with our local
chapters
> could establish a national network comprised of individuals willing to
> provide services to area blind persons on a paid or a volunteer basis.
We
> learned that two agencies in Cincinnati Ohio offer such services to
blind
> persons in that community. There is an organization in San Antonio
that
> reels in big bucks but does not offer such a program. One wonders what
> they're doing with all the money they rake in besides throwing parties
for
> their members and benefactors.
>
> Sorry I know this is a little off topic but it's a situation all
> too
> common and one this organization should address. All the best.
>
> Peter Donahue
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, January 26, 2014 9:40 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Transportation and help when needed
>
>
>> Lynda,
>>
>> Firstly, my condolences to you and your husband; I hope he feels
>> better, and you are able to get some answers.
>>
>> Unfortunately, in the city, you probably don't want to get in a car
>> with a stranger. Omaha is a pretty big city, with about a million
>> people living here, and saddly, we have a rather high crime rate, so
>> I'm not comfortable getting into cars with strangers. Ross and I have
>> had people randomly stop and offer rides, but we don't take them up
>> on this offer. And I'm always surprised when women ask Ross because
>> he's a big, tall, muscular guy; not someone I would offer a ride to
>> if I were alone, grin. I've had people tell me they wouldn't want to
>> meet him in a dark alley, ha-ha! He's a big teddy bear, but he
>> doesn't look it.
>>
>> They didn't let you ride in the ambulance? Usually one person can
>> ride along. Nonetheless, that's nice you live in a community like
>> that.
>>
>> My husband and I are both blind, and if we didn't have public
>> transportation, I'm not sure what we would do. We do have family and
>> friends around, but they are not frequently available to provide
>> transportation. My parents and siblings all live here, but my son
>> goes days and even weeks without seeing any of them. We've lived in
>> our house for almost two years, and we've only met two neighbors, and
>> they only speak to us when we initiate conversation. We've spoke with
>> neighbors and try to be welcoming and cordial, but I don't know if
>> it's the blindness or what, but no one in our neighborhood seems
>> interested in getting to know us any better. And we are involved in
>> the NFB here, but again, outside of Federation activities, most of
>> our fellow Federationist are not people we see socially. And most our
>> personal friends are not married and certainly don't have children.
>> It's difficult to find a babysitter, even in advance, so we don't
>> often get out unless we can bring our son.
>>
>> So my point being, we would be stuck in our house without public
>> transit, grin.
>>
>> Bridgit
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda
>> Lambert
>> Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2014 1:07 PM
>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Transportation and help when needed
>>
>>
>> Pennsylvania is a very rural state overall. There are no cabs
>> anywhere here other than in the bigger cities, which are few and far
>> between. Most towns
>> in PA are quite small and old - with no public transportation at all.
>> Even
>> getting the access fan can only take me to a very few places. Without
a
>> person to drive, most blind folks in PA would be sitting at home all
>> day,
>> every day. This state is not only predominately rural, it is
mountanous
>>
>> with long distances between the major cities. Thank God for my
>> wonderful husband who patiently takes me to where I need to be. I am
>> so blessed.
>>
>> On that note, I have to say on Monday when we were having lunch Bob
>> collapsed in the restaurant and was unconscious. He was taken by the
>> anbulance to the hospital - and I am so very thankful I live in a
>> very small community where we are known, and where people jump up and
>> begin helping in
>> an emergency. When they put him into the ambulance, I was so
frightened
>> as
>> I knew I had no way of even getting to the hospital. I said to them
"I
>> am
>> visually impaired, and I have no way of getting to the hospital."
>> Immediately, a man stepped out from behind me and told me who he is -
as
>> it
>> turns out he is a local pastor, who sees us every morning at the gym.
He
>>
>> said, "Don't worry, Lynda," I am taking you to the hospital and I
>> will stay with you until family can come." He did just that - but,
>> when things like
>> this happen in our life, we become so acutely aware of how different
our
>>
>> life would be without someone to help us. Bob is recovering, and we
>> do not yet know what happened to him. He has been at the hospital and
>> drs. office
>> three times this past week for tests. Things like this make me so
>> thankful
>> for living in a very small town that is so close to the residents and
>> that
>> step in quickly to assist each other in a crises.
>>
>> Lynda
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
>> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2014 1:42 PM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Here's my attempt at being tactile to
>> thefolkswhowant
>> everything for nothing
>>
>>
>>> If the university is willing to pay, a cab is an option, and this
>>> way no person has to take a day or afternoon to drive. Just throwing
>>> out options. A bus may be another option, though a bus certainly
>>> isn't the
>>
>>> most convenient option.
>>>
>>> Bridgit
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda
>>> Lambert
>>> Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2014 7:38 AM
>>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Here's my attempt at being tactile to the
>>> folkswhowant everything for nothing
>>>
>>>
>>> Yes, this is very important. People just do not realize at all that
>>> it
>>
>>> takes something more than just getting in our car and leaving home
>>> so that we can be somewhere. Not only is it our time, it is someone
>>> else's time.
>> When
>>> I go
>>> to the pottery studio to work, it is an hour long dive each way.
>>> Then,
>> I
>>> am
>>> there 3-4 hours working. That is a six hour day for TWO people, plus
>> all
>>> the
>>> expenses involved that April listed. Not only is it very
>>> inconvenient for the person who is taking us places, it is
>>> expensive, too. This is our reality and one that a sighted person
>>> would never even think about for
>> a
>>>
>>> second.
>>> Lynda
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "April Brown" <aprilbrownshade at gmail.com>
>>> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2014 6:53 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] Here's my attempt at being tactile to the
>>> folks whowant everything for nothing
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi Donna,
>>>>
>>>> I think it's great. I'd emphasize one line though.
>>>>
>>>> "I have to get someone else to drive." Emphasize that you have to
>>>> pay them out of pocket for time, gas, and wear and tear on the car.
>>>>
>>>> Congrats!
>>>>
>>>> April Brown
>>>>
>>>> Writing dramatic adventure novels uncovering the myths we hide
>>>> behind.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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