[stylist] writing sample

Wed Mar 12 19:03:21 UTC 2014

This story reminds me of The Readers Digest.
I did have one or two observations. This is something I have to watch for 
myself.
Changes from plural to singular as in this quote

But her diagnosis tweaks a fear response in all our psyches. Our shared 
humanity dictates that we do something, because God forbid, what if it 
happened to me?

I would have changed it to what if it happened to us.
For me, that changes the tone from personal/editorial to personal.
There are a couple more examples, but my hands are in a lot of pain today, 
so I can't go through them all. Only a couple. But it changes the tone of 
the article.
I'm glad you added the postscript. At the time of writing, she was very 
early in her journey, and I was curious as to how it all turned out.
Also, I wonder how Louisa Murphy got into the article. The bowling ball 
example was great--a great metaphor, but I wonder if the mention of someone 
else in the article was necessary, as the whole story was about Becky. I 
think the mention of a female walking by unaware when that ball began to 
fall was good. It served as a metaphor for Becky's life.
Just my thoughts,
Thea
-----Original Message----- 
From: Chris Kuell
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2014 1:53 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] writing sample

I'm currently working on a short story, but it's far from finished. So I 
dusted off the following essay, which I submitted to the NFB contest a few 
years ago (it didn't place). However, I still think it has merit.

Non-Fiction, 1000 words

Becky and the Bowling Ball

By Chris Kuell

On December 30, 2006, my friend Becky passed out and fell in her kitchen 
after pouring herself a bowl of cereal. Her husband and son found her some 
twenty minutes later and managed to revive her. she had no memory of the 
incident. They rushed her to a local hospital, then on to Ruby Memorial, the 
West Virginia University hospital in Morgantown. After several days of 
testing, the doctors drilled a hole in her skull for a biopsy, and 
determined she had Primary CNS Lymphoma. In layman's terms, an inoperable 
brain tumor. The cancer hadn't spread, but that's little consolation to 
someone who just received a death sentence.

One doctor wanted to start chemotherapy right away, but Becky decided she 
needed to go home and be with her family to grieve for a few days before the 
battle commenced. On Wednesday, January third, she spent her forty-fifth 
birthday at home with the people who are most important to her.

As of this writing, she is on the fourth day of chemotherapy in her first 
round of six treatments. She sounds good on the phone-not too sick, and 
generally optimistic and positive. The day before yesterday she met a guy 
with the same diagnosis who came in the hospital in a coma. Now he's 
strolling the halls taking time to chat with people like Becky.

Of course, there isn't a much tougher blow in life than being told you've 
got a brain tumor. Becky has received a tremendous outpouring of affection 
from the many people who know her. One friend built her a web page, complete 
with photographs of Becky with her family, links to brain tumor information, 
and a blog where friends can post messages. Across the country, generous 
people   have contributed money, audio books, prayers, and a tremendous 
amount of support.

I think there has been an awesome response because people know and care for 
Becky, and want to help her and her family during these trying times. She 
has friends in the writing community, in the blindness community, and just 
about everyone in the small town where she lives.

But her diagnosis tweaks a fear response in all our psyches. Our shared 
humanity dictates that we do something, because God forbid, what if it 
happened to me?

The first few days after Becky's diagnosis, I could think of little else. I 
kept wondering how somebody could walk that tightrope of hope without 
falling into despair. Then I remembered something that happened while I was 
in graduate school. I attended the University of Vermont in Burlington, a 
beautiful town on the edge of Lake Champlain.

One hot summer day in late August 1987, some kids were having a party 
downtown in a multi-story apartment building. As things heated up inside, 
somebody tried to open a window, only to find it wouldn't stay up. So, they 
got the brilliant idea of propping the window up with a bowling ball. Anyone 
familiar with the theorems of the late, great, Professor Max Murphy can 
predict what happened next. As the party grew in intensity, a lone female 
pedestrian waited outside a local deli below, oblivious to the 16-pound ball 
of fate accelerating at 32 feet per second.

And, that's just the way life is. We build fences, regularly put money in 
our retirement accounts, get childhood vaccines, see our dentist and primary 
care physicians regularly, never jaywalk or drive more than 5 miles per hour 
over the posted speed limit, take yoga classes and practice mindfulness to 
reduce stress. We try all our life to build up protections, to guard against 
our enemies, real and perceived. But, there's no way to avoid that falling 
bowling ball, or that Titlist in your brain if that is what the universe has 
in store for you. The idea that we have control is just an illusion. All we 
can do is decide how we react when it's our head that's in the ball's path.

In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl 
determined that the single most important factor in deciding who survived 
and who perished in the concentration camps was the belief that one still 
had an important purpose in life. Becky still has plenty to live for. First 
and foremost, her son and husband rely on her to be the glue and stabilizing 
force that keeps the family together. Becky's son Josh has Glycogen Storage 
Disease (GSD), a rare liver condition that causes chronic low blood sugars. 
She   has made arrangements for Josh to be seen by the country's most 
prestigious GSD doctor at the University of Florida Medical Center, and I 
know how determined she is to be there with him. She has a sister, parents, 
a nephew, and hundreds of people who are in her corner rooting as hard as we 
can. She has an unfinished novel that she's been working on for years, and 
she will see it in print some day.

Despite  receiving a  catastrophic blow when a bowling ball fell on her 
head, Louisa Murray not only survived, but went on to graduate from medical 
school. The human spirit is strong, and regardless of the tremendous odds 
against us, we survive. I've hugged my wife and kids every single day since 
the bad news, held them in my grasp for a few extra seconds, and savored the 
feeling. Becky's diagnosis has certainly raised my consciousness about the 
frailty of life, and I don't imagine I'm alone in this new awareness.

Becky's story has something for all of us, and I am certain of one thing- 
she always delivers a happy ending.

Authors postscript:

Becky did take her son to the GSD clinic at the University of Florida in 
September of 2007. Unfortunately, he died on February 9, 2009. The grief was 
too much for Becky, and although she beat the odds by surviving CNS lymphoma 
for over four years, the cancer came back and took her on March 15, 2010. 
Her novel, Blind Fear, was published in June of 2010.

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