[stylist] thea, paratransit escorts

Fri Mar 14 23:46:25 UTC 2014

Thea,
I feel so bad that you are in this situation. I've had issues with
depression in my life, but I could always get out for a walk, so I can't
imagine what that kind of isolation is like. People have probably asked you,
but I can't help myself here. Were you ever tested for Lyme disease? I don't
even know if you folks get it up there, but down here, there are several
people I know in our little rural community who doctored for years with
intractable pain, being treated for fibromyalgia, MS, RA and God knows what.
My husband was in so much pain that he wanted to end his life. He ended up
being diagnosed with Lyme of the central nervous system. He's not back to
normal and he may never be, but he's doing much better than he was prior to
the month of IV antibiotics.
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Miss Thea
Sent: Friday, March 14, 2014 4:45 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] thea, paratransit escorts

Hi, Vejas.
Escorts: Tried, tried, and tried again. No luck. Tried volunteer societies
churches, even gay churches. No dice. I've been in this captivity for coming
on 2 years now, and you can believe I've tried everything. And since my
escort is volunteering her time, she certainly can say "no". She also has
sleep apnea and is tired all the time, or sleeping.
If I could find escorts, I would have found them by now.
An ex-girlfriend was my escort for a while, but when the relationship broke
up, so did her escorting.
Another treated me like I was an idiot, condemned my lifestyle and prattled
on about everything that was wrong with me. No area of my life was
sancrosanct to her. If she came to my apartment and heard or saw something,
she had to lecture me.
One volunteer coordinator, echoing the words of others, said, "People just
aren't volunteering the way they used to. They're doing the kind of
volunteer work that might land them a job."
Honestly, I've tried.
As to my daughter, I can't contact her. The house guest who came to stay and
in the end is lord of the manor in my house in Hawaii has told me the kids
don't want contact.
They don't answer my texts, when I send them.
For all I know, they may have different cell phones with different numbers.
Both these issues are thorny, complicated. Each of these issues could be a
series of stories or articles even if all you wanted was a full explanation.

To ameliorate the effects of my isolation, it was arranged for me to get
calls from the Distress Center, and last night when I talked to a distress
center volunteer, she said that hearing my story made her feel lost, like
she was in a big empty pit somewhere.
After explaining things, she said, "You didn't put yourself in that pit. The
world put you there."
You guys online, my friend/escort, the homemaker I see once every two weeks,
the friendly visitor a social worker got for me that I see once a week, and
the phone calls I get from the Distress Center are my only contacts with the
outside world.

As to doing what I say, I've been told more than once I'm lucky Bonnie will
take me anywhere, that she is not obligated to take me anywhere.
There's a lot of politics going on now with TTC/WheelTrans, and they're
making it harder and harder for people to get on. They're looking for any
excuse to get people off the service.
My escort's as free as a bird. She can go anywhere she wants. But when they
tried to keep her off the service, she had a powerful ally in the
blindness-education community, who has since retired.
There is no one to take her place for me.
Maybe I'm so repetitive because I don't have things I can do to divert my
mind. I can't get out of my apartment. People come to see me for a couple of
hours. A dear friend just moved away, so I don't see her now.
I miss my kids. I miss my honey house in Hawaii, and I miss my late ex, who
died after the divorce. Well, there are things I miss about them, and things
I don't.
I don't know how to get across just how lonely and isolated I am in an
article that won't sound repetitive or something.
If I had the money, I'd find somewhere where I could ride the paratransit
like an adult, like everyone else. My health is too bad for a guide dog, or
cane travel any more, but my mind is still sharp.
Only, the meds I have to take for pain make it feel like it's getting dull.
The pain, untreated, debilitates and hurts like the blue blazes.
My doc and I've done everything on that score, too.
So, that's what things are like for me.
I thank you for your concern, and wish I had more positive things to report.
I'm supposed to have a mediation on April 14 about the WheelTrans issue. I
hope it will be settled then.
Thea
-----Original Message-----
From: Vejas
Sent: Friday, March 14, 2014 1:19 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] thea, paratransit escorts

Hi Thea,
I read your story about Sandy and felt that it was very well-written.  Some
people find it hard to express their feelings on paper, but you did it.  I
agree with everyone else in that you were lucky you didn't have that much
money.
I think that, if possible, you should try to find a new escort for your
paratransit.  You mentioned that your escort is anti-gay and won't take you
to anywhere you can meet women.
The ideal escort should never put their beliefs on someone else.
You should try to find someone who will do whatever you say.
Whether they are anti-gay or not shouldn't matter; they are your escorts, so
doesn't that mean that they should be willing to take you anywhere you want
to go? After all, a college reader is responsible for reading the material,
whether they like it or not.  It should be all about you, not all about
them.  (Anyone can correct me if I'm wrong, since I haven't started using
paratransit yet so I don't really know how the system works.) Also, I would
like to encourage you to send this piece to your daughter, if you know where
she is.  You stated that your daughter has the same beliefs you do.  Your
piece would be a valuable lesson for her and may even bring you closer
together.
That way she could avoid the same problems you experienced.  Even if she
still won't respond, at least you tried.
Vejas

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