[stylist] Ode To There-There

[Miss Thea]

Hi, Bill:
I really liked your critique. I found some humor in it, i.e. repetitive 
redundancies.
I'm still laughing my butt off about that one.

Actually, that "thapp" sound occurs when the ear meets the hand. Depending 
on the way the kitty's ear either brushes or hits your palm, you can get a 
"thapp" or "papp" sound.
As I have synesthesia, that is, words have tactile impressions for me, in 
terms of object composition, shape, temp, etc. (I touch words and sounds), 
onomatopoeia is a natural thing for me, as it was for our friend who created 
the grinch and friends, together with green eggs and ham.
As to "thapp", the first time There-There's thin, flexible flap caught my 
hand, he was in the process of shaking out his ears. They hit my hand and 
made the "thapp-papp-thnapp! sound, which none of my other feline friends 
ever did.
Even at that time, I exclaimed "Oh, thapp thapp thapp!"
Only later did I discover there were different sounds, according to the way 
the ear falls on the hand, the amount of air pressure between his earflaps 
and your hands, etc.
I love flexible, lithe things, and will probably favor those words too much.
This poem should properly be called Ode to There-There's Ears. LOL
I can't get enough of his thapps or the feel and movement of the thin-edged 
silk that produces the sounds.
I'm also a fan of th. Any th word, because the sound brushes feathers on my 
hands or face. (That's synesthesia again.)
Thea
-----Original Message----- 
From: William L Houts
Sent: Sunday, March 16, 2014 10:43 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Ode To There-There



HI Thea,

For something you merely "dashed off", this one has a lot to recommend
it, though I think that some editing could really serve to bring out
this poem's strengths.  For instance, I think the phrase "sightless
hands" --now other editor-poets may disagree with me on this-- is not
the best phrase.  The reader, or anyway this reader, says:  well, of
course they're sightless, we're talking about hands here, LOL.  But the
description of the cat's ears as "silkies" is delightful.  I do think,
though, that to describe your little friend as feline is redundant with
repititive redundancies;  your description of the silky, swiveling ears
already puts us in mind of our kitty friends, we don't need a further
"feline" to clinch the deal. As for the earlike sound effects, I'm not a
fan of onomatopoeia in poetry, but you did choose the right sounds, in
my opinion, and I have to admit that cat's ears do make that thappish
fuffish sound when they ruffle them, so we each score half a point.  In
general, Thea, it's a fun and valorous effort, and you'll make a true
poet of yourself if you can stay the course, and continue to produce
works like this.


--Bill


  --Bill







On 3/16/2014 5:11 PM, Miss Thea wrote:
> Something I dashed off, hope you like it. I haven’t written poetry in a 
> while, but I like the musical of consonant and vowel.
>
> Ode to There-There
>
> He sits at my side like a guide dog,
> Small and feline,
> His ears pricked up.
>
> My sightless hand finds those thin-tipped silkies,
> They fall underneath,
> Flap and flutter against my skin,
> thapp-a-papp-papp they say,
>
> Thapp, thapp, thapp,
> He brushes his swivelling ears over my palm.
> Pap-pap-papp!
> Firecracker sound, butterfly touch,
> He rolls on the floor,
> Side to side, his earflaps flattened
> He grabs my hands in his paws,
> purrs, pretends to bite
>
> Writhing, stretching his sleek neck,
> Lithe, limber, his flaps flex again
> Purr so loud it squeaks.
> I melt in adoration
>
> Oh, There-There, I know your truth,
> You're no more a cat than I am,
> Your secret's safe with me,
> Angel.
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://writers.nfb.org/
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lukaeon%40gmail.com


-- 
"Let's drink a toast now to who we really are."

           --Jane Siberry


_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site
http://writers.nfb.org/
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/thearamsay%40rogers.com