[stylist] Let's Play

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Like I said, I'm no poet. Just thought it fit this particular exercise,
smile. Thanks for the comments though. Clearly my poetry needs some
help, LOL!

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William L
Houts
Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:37 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Let's Play


HI Bridgit,

I've been meaning to get to this one for a while, and have finally 
cleared the decks for it.  The truth is, I'm a little ambivalent about 
it.  I enjoy lines like "I slunk to the shower, but over the dog I 
tripped."   It's quirky English, as if you'd learned the language from 
penguins or something.  And yet there are some constructions, like 
"frizzled and frazzled" which make me irritable for reasons which are a 
little foggy to me   --just one of those mysterious taste things, I 
guess.  But on the whole,it's a kind of piece I call a "sleigh ride".  
That's where you hitch up the dogs, crack the whip and just see where 
the hell you wind up. And finally, it's this sense of discovery in the 
poem which wins me over, despite little quibbles with particular rhymes.

Good work, Bridgit.



--Bill







On 3/19/2014 2:43 PM, Bridgit Pollpeter wrote:
> Okay, since so much poetry has been posted, here's my flimsy attempt
>
> I wrote this for a class; it's a Rimas disdolutas
>
> Bridgit
>
>
> I woke in the morning, frazzled and frizzled
> My eyes the sun poked
>  From my bed, I rolled and dripped
> Wishing to end the siren in my head
> Yawning and grumbling, I attempted to wake
>
> I snarled a greeting as I was grizzled
> The coffee so strong and thick I choked
> I slunk to the shower, but over the dog I tripped
> All I wanted was to return to my bed
> Could this day have started with anymore at stake?
>
> I stood at the window and watched the rain as it drizzled 
> Pitter-patter it tinked on the window as the sun groped To break the 
> grey clouds and end the chill that nipped I fumbled and stumbled 
> against the spike splitting my brain wishing I had fled
> Back to the warmth of my bed to ease my headache
>
> My nose detected eggs and bacon as they sizzled
> Encouraged by food, I braved the shower and soaped
> Refreshed and resembling a human again, I grabbed the early edition 
> and flipped Through articles and stories, some full of dred,
> But finally, as the sun broke free, I determined to stay awake
>
>
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-- 
"Let's drink a toast now to who we really are."

           --Jane Siberry


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