[stylist] Old Blind Mikes Famous Canoe Challenge!

[Joanne Alongi]

Cute

shelley Queen of Bells out Sent from my iPhone

> On Apr 2, 2015, at 6:49 PM, Michael via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> 
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> Old Blind Mike's
> Island Trip Of Challenge
> In His Tippy Canoe!
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> This is a True Story from Old Blind Mike's Journal of adventure!
> 
> This is one heck of a tale about a one week canoe and camping trip On
> Lake Detroit in Central Oregon and how a near blind man survives this
> self inflicted ordeal. It reveals a real insight to a blind mans personal
> experiences by facing real on site and in the water challeges. It will
> certainlly enlighten all sighted readers to how a near blind man comes to
> deal with a real outdoor adventure, all on his own.
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> Introduction:
> 
> No big deal here, just a simple excerpt from my Fun Journal to keep alive
> a few good memories of times gone by. Hope you the reader, whoever you
> might be will find some humor in this old mans adventures and also gain
> some insight to a partially sighted(near blind) mans challenges. Please
> have a fun read and know that I left out all the really good stuff.
> 
> A week prior to this challenging canoe jaunt I had just returned from a
> one week trip to Montana and Canada Glacier National Park with my old
> friend John. We were suppose to head into Canada and maybe up into Alaska
> for at least 3 weeks but due to the high cost of gas, our being caught
> unprepared (John forgot his money and I didn't have any) and our
> inauspicious disorganization (departed in a haste, forgot to take our
> camping gear) we returned home. This was rather disappointing to me
> because I had planned to be gone for those three weeks and my family had
> made plans around my absence and suddenly I'm back; oh no, this was not
> good!
> 
> 
> 
> Ok, through this time of shock for my wife and daughters I tried to stay
> calm but was rather restless, full of unspent energy and had to get away.
> This had nothing to do with the fact that my wife kept on asking me why
> I had come home and why don't you go out back and cut those fifty acres
> of wild berries down?  I really wanted to do something with my lovely
> wife but due to her ill health and getting ready for school she had no
> time for me so I borrowed my fishing buddy's 16 foot canoe (don't want to
> give his name here, due to events in this story) threw my stuff together
> and had my wife drive me and the canoe up to Lake Detroit. It was simple
> enough, no real planning or testing or gas or disorganization, I just
> unloaded the boat, dragged it into the lake, packed it up, said goodbye
> to my wife, jumped in and off I went. 
> 
> About all the photos you won't see in this journal; well, had a brand new
> camera, one that I just bought for this trip and just as I was finishing
> up my first roll, I had the misfortune of getting to close to a speeding
> boat, it just missed me and a splash washed over my boat and thus the
> camera got its first soaking. After about an hour of beating it on the
> edge of the canoe I was able to get most of the water out of it and it
> seemed to work fine after that. But then in all my brilliance the next
> day out I tied it onto the cross bar of the canoe and once again, while
> involved in a lake fiasco and in some hard and heavy paddling, the camera
> must of come undone and slid to the back of the canoe, just where all the
> inside water happens to collect and there the camera set for the day and
> it was finished for sure this time.
> 
> Therefore, each picture that I wanted to place herein will thus be a
> descriptive overview of a once beautiful photo that is now lost in
> bubbles and moss! 
> 
> Photo #1: That white guy you see sitting there in the canoe who looks
> like a white chicken waving, is me. This is the sole planner and
> expedition guide waving goodbye to everyone. The day is blue and hot, I'm
> loaded down good, got on my outdoor broad rimmed hat and the island is
> off in the distance. The photo was taken by my wife. I look a little
> irritated  because my wife is making this great big scene, right there in
> front of all the boaters and beach folks. Hey, I just wanted to get in
> and go; oh no, she's suddenly Mrs. Photographer, and she has got to make
> sure the distant island is in the picture. This means that she can't move
> two feet over, but tells me to paddle over to the left, then right, and
> then back again,  and line myself up just right. I paddle, everyone is
> now looking, now she says this is not good, "hey, just take the stinking
> picture," I say, but she tells me not to get huffy now. 
> 
> By now there's a few other folks standing around and watching the
> possible catastrophe that just might be arriving soon. For its been about
> 8 years since I've been in a canoe and this one is not only huge, its
> really loaded down with tons of my vital camping stuffs, and water is
> lapping at the gunnals.  
> 
> Finally, she makes the shot and everyone gives their applause, and now I
> got to get out of the canoe and retrieve the camera from my most 
> considerate wife who can't possibly get her feet wet, and besides she
> wants me to kiss her goodbye in front of the curious crowd. So with the
> photo and kiss shoot accomplished, I get into my rocky boat and head out
> across the lake. Of course, just as I'm feeling balanced and got my
> bearings (finally going in a straight line) about 20 good strokes out, my
> wife cups her hands and in all her loving voice  she yells, "can you see
> the island Dear? Are you sure you can find it alone? Do you want me to
> call the coast guard to help you with this trip?" I know she does this
> just to make me really mad and not come home for at least a day and it
> worked just great. 
> 
> The thing is that no one really knows that I'm blind and this is a
> challenge for me, but does she have to tell the world?
> Without looking back, it won't do any good anyhow, I can't see but about
> 5 feet in any direction so I lift my paddle, wave and head for deep
> waters. 
> 
> The south end of the island is only about a quarter mile off to my left
> but I got to cross the main ski and speed racing channel. This normally
> wouldn't be any big deal but I'm a little nervous about being so loaded
> down and besides my wife is still yelling out directions to me. "Can't
> she just leave me alone and go away?"
> 
> A few ski boats flash by and roll a good sized wake at me but with all my
> canoe skills I think to turn into it but over compensate and it slams me
> up the side and woe, I almost flip, or so it seems. 
> 
> The sun is really hot and I'm a little over dressed for the long paddle
> and begin my search for my camp. In fact I'm a little disturbed because I
> forgot my bathing suit and got to wear these really hot jogging pants and
> wow  am I ever Sweating.
> 
> Here comes a second boat, this time its full of punk blue harried freaks
> who scream by me and swish a huge wake that nearly rolls me but again
> everything works out ok, except that all my camping gear is now sopping
> wet but hey, this is getting exciting!
> 
> The island looms near  (I'm sure) and I can no longer hear that overly
> concerned but irritating voice behind me, off in the distance but I'm
> sure that is her honking the horn as one final warning not to call her
> for at least three days. Now the worst time of day for my eyes is from
> about sunrise to sunset and around noonish is the worst of that time. The
> sun is brilliant and due to my balancing act and near three swampings,
> I've already lost my sun glasses and the sun is glaring really bad but so
> what, I know the island is out there somewhere, I hope?
> 
> About three quarters the way to the south point I realize that I'm an old
> man and this paddling stuff just might give me a heart attack and start
> to worry and so much for a peaceful get away.
> 
> The early afternoon wind begins to pick up and I'm blown off course down
> the west side of the island. This is not where I want to go and got to
> really work hard to stay on course. If anyone is watching me, they must
> think that I'm some sort of zig zag freak, going for a record in zigging
> and zaggin in the record books  because I'm going left and right and back
> and forth like a sail boat tacking but I'm only a canoe. And a canoe is
> built to go straight and straight I ain't going.
> 
> I decide, well really the wind decided for me, but I arrive at the wrong
> side of the island and need to paddle back against the wind to the south
> point. 
> This south point used to offer a pretty nice camping site. You could tie
> up your boat right there, and you got some forest to put your tent in and
> it was a nice spot at one time. Well I finally get around to the point
> and there is someone anchored off shore fishing right where I wanted to
> be, can you imagine that?
> 
> Ok, I'm trying to squint my way around the stumps and logs, don't know if
> anyone is on shore fishing and sort of paddle along playing Mr. Cool and
> dumb at the same time. Can't see if anyone is looking at me from the
> boat, but I'm sure they are, it's only thirty feet away and I nod just in
> case their wondering. 
> 
> I suddenly hit the island, take my bearings and with all the grace of an
> experience  outdoorsman I pull up to a huge old stump and think to step
> out of the canoe. But, being so long seated in the near impossible canoe
> paddling position , now stiff legged and hunched back my legs won't move.
> I begin to cramp up and ah sheet, this hurts! Oh please this hurts but
> got to be cool now, so I sort of flip out of the canoe into about two
> foot of cool refreshing water. My legs go num and I got to rub my cramps
> away and as I'm doing this, I fail to hold onto the canoe and it drifts
> into the peoples nearby fishing lines. I now got to wade out into deeper
> waters and grab the dang thing and pull it back. I hear someone cussing a
> little but say my sorriest excuses and work boat back to rocky shore, and
> stumble out of water in soaking jogging pants but I'm still a smiling,
> just in case my wife is looking with my binoculars, the ones I forgot.
> 
> I pull the canoe a little onto shore, tie it up and take a look. Hey now,
> what happened to the shore? This is not how I remembered it to be but of
> course I haven't been here for 10 years and the lake is down about 25
> feet. I stumble around the  bolder covered shore and head up to the tree
> line. I go behind bushes to see if there might be a camping site but
> nada.  The boat load of fishermen are right down below me now, and I
> realize that it looks like I've stopped off here to go to the toilet
> because I'm searching out the bushes right in front of them. Forget this
> place, I stumble back down the cliff and with all grace, get into my
> canoe and pull myself along the shore lined stumps, trying not to disturb
> the family so peacefully fishing. I nod my goodbyes and think, so what,
> I'll never see them again, wrong! But will meet these people along the
> way in a few days and they'll learn more about my very odd visit to their
> fishing area. 
> 
> I decide to go around the east side of the island and slowly begin my
> long paddle to the east end of the lake. I remember that there once were
> camping sites there and maybe I'll find one. I feel pretty safe as long
> as I stick close to the shore.
> 
> Now shadows don't work well for my very limited vision; nor does light.
> It would normally take about 5 minutes for my eyes to make some kind of
> adjustment to varying light.  But if you add brilliant afternoon sun
> flashing through tall trees every three seconds an then suddenly finding
> yourself in deep shadow, well that is something that causes my hurting
> eyes much trouble. Sure, the paddle down the east side was much better
> but I now had to weave along the shadowy cliffs and coves with blasting
> sunbeams piercing my views and each time my eyes had to readjust. This
> normally wouldn't be much trouble but if a blind man is in a canoe and he
> has water skiers blasting by on his right and fishermen casting from off
> shore on his left; and well, you can't see them, this is a cause for some
> concern. 
> 
> There are some things that are hard for a sighted person to understand,
> like why would a strange bearded man paddling along a shore in a near
> sunken canoe be rubbing his eyes and talking to stumps along the shore?
> Yes, this might sound a little stupid and believe me, it really is but
> yes it does happen. The best way to prevent such events of stupidity, is
> for a blind man to just stay home and lock himself into  his room and
> die! But oh no, this Mister Blind  Outdoorsmen wants to live and also
> keep his wife happy by disappearing for a week at a time
> but back to
> stump conversations? 
> 
> There are tons of old stumps along the shoreline of this island. They
> stand tall and are in all forms, shapes and sizes. And unless you got
> some good eyes in your head, you as Mister Outdoor Magoo could very
> easily mistake any one of these stumps as a quiet fisherman just waiting
> for you to go by
> honest.
> 
> Every so often small splashes would hit the water near me, so naturally I
> assumed (assuming is not good for a blind person) that this was someone
> casting their lines out into the water. Therefore I would slowly turn
> away from shore or head out for the little cove and make my apology known
> to the "Stump!" Hey I'm a considerate man, its best to at least udder
> some sort of apology as you try to avoid ruining someone's day, even if
> it was only a stump or an odd shaped rock. Those little splashes turned
> out to be fish jumping. Oh well, I bet I both entertained and amused a
> lot of people on this trip and gave them something to talk about around
> the camp fire at night. 
> 
> "Hey George are you still wondering why that odd ball bearded guy in the
> canoe was talking with the trees and stumps? Do you think he is one of
> those escaped weirdoes from the State institution everyone is looking
> for? Do you think we should turn him into the forest rangers?" 
> 
> "I don't know Marge but you better keep the gun loaded and lock up the
> tent tonight."
> 
> Photo #2: This is a picture of one of those stumps. Now look close and
> sort of squint a little and you'll see that from about 30 feet away it
> could resemble a man casting a pole, right? Got to admit though, this guy
> would be rather big, sporting a massive head about 3 foot across and
> totally bald with at least six legs and hey, use your imagination please?
> One more equation, let someone shine a flashlight into your eyes while
> your trying to figure this out and make sure your dodging jet ski's in
> all this.
> 
> Finally got out of the shadows and sun flares and came to the east end of
> the island where the shore line drops down into a lower area.  Paddled
> into shore, found a little niche, tied up and walked up the rocky hill
> and came onto a flat and there was this unbelievable camp site. The thing
> was that there was no one around, and I mean no one. This was in the
> middle of the week but still, this had to be one of the nicest camp sites
> on the whole lake. I soon searched out the area and found several
> 'Welcome' signs, couldn't read the rest of the two inch lettering and
> made the choice to set up camp. Began unloading the gear from the over
> laden canoe and when  it was lightened up, pulled it up onto a pebble
> beach. I couldn't believe it, this was a perfect spot, a 180 degree view
> of three different sections of the lake with a sand beach behind me and
> plenty of bushes to use as a toilet facility. I did notice sort of a
> swampy area behind the bushes but hey, this was a great place.  There of
> course was no toilets or running water on the island and  all campers had
> to make do and so I did. 
> 
> After about two hours of setting up my tent, first time I ever set up
> this tent and glad no one was around to watch this flapping circus in the
> wind or at least I thought there was no one to see. Now just a few days
> earlier, my daughter Lori set this tent up in two minutes, it took me
> that long to just untie the first knot, and another hour to get it up but
> then had to undo the whole thing because I put the rods in wrong, but
> hey, not bad for an old timer. Anyhow, got all set up and went for a very
> refreshing swim. Man was that nice. After all this, dried off, sat down
> on my burrito filled ice chest and absolutely had nothing to do and got
> bored, thinking that this desert island thing might not be so cool after
> all.
> 
> Within three minutes of pure  boredom, I thought it to be a good idea to
> clear a way down to my boat and thus began moving 14 tons of rocks from
> my camp site down to the canoe. I actually spent a half day creating a
> clear smooth path down the rocky bolder strewn shore. 
> 
> However, due to smaller rounded pebbles laying on this descending path,
> it became as if an icy slide, each and every time I put my foot onto the
> path. I solved my arm waving back stroke falls by tying the extra long
> bow rope from the canoe to a tree in my camp. Thereafter each time I
> descended to the water some 30 feet down below I would hold the rope with
> one hand, and walk with a walking stick in my other hand and I thought it
> might help a bit. Hey it did work ok as long as you crawled,  and I only
> fell or did a odd twisting dance when a boat load of people came along,
> and I'm sure they went away laughing, or awed at this lake side
> acrobatical show.
> 
> This rock and bolder removal project was my first geological experience
> of the trip that I managed. The path worked out pretty good for me but by
> the days end, my fingernails were all busted, my white back was totally
> blood red and I had hundreds of odd bumps all over my body; this turned
> out to be mosquito bites and this was day time. However, all my problems
> went away when I dove into the clear refreshing lake water and swam out
> and just floated there in silence and let the fish nibble on my toes. 
> 
> Things were going great until I tried laying down that night. I must have
> wrenched my back and could lay down ok but trying to get up again, well
> that was a problem. I got a little panicky the first night, thinking that
> maybe I screwed up my back so bad I wouldn't be able to even get up in
> the morning, and who would be there to help? Hey no problem, remembered
> that I had a cell phone and thought to dial my wife and see if it worked.
> I waited, it rang and my daughter Lori answered and put me on hold as my
> batteries drained down. She said she was holding for a clerk to give her
> a price on peanut butter. Finally my wife came onto the phone and had
> sort of a pleading sound in her hello, as if saying, "Please, not
> already, don't ask me to come and get you?"
> 
> I immediately assured her, and put her little heart to rest that I was
> having a great time with all these really neat female fisher people, and
> there was a girls school camping out right next door; and she got a good
> chuckle out of this one saying, "I know, you must have screwed up your
> back and your calling for reassurance, aren't you?"
> 
> "No dear, just letting you know I'm still alive and plan on staying at
> least three weeks."
> 
> "That's fantastic, and by the way, did you make sure your life insurance
> is paid up in full, just checking Dear?" 
> 
> "Yeah, all is taken care of and," at this point she puts me on hold for
> the price of peanut butter and I get really upset and disconnect!
> 
> Ok, my lovely little island is about a mile long and a quarter mile
> across. The area I'm in, offers a few camp sites with a large sand beach
> and further around to the west there is a good sized swamp where billions
> of bugs, nats and monstrous mosquitoes await their hunt for blood on my
> desert island. It so happens that I got the entire island to myself. 
> Thus, after only three days, my name and location had to be broadcasted
> to every flying creature that existed for three miles in all directions.
> This seems a little out of the ordinary to me but, wow was I ever having
> fun! 
> 
> This wouldn't have been so bad if I could have built a camp fire, but due
> to the fire season restrictions I'm not allowed to build one. I could
> have built a smoldering smoky fire that would have at least kept the
> bigger three pound flying teeth away from me but couldn't break the law
> now, could I? 
> 
> My first evening alone on my desert island arrived and the distant noise
> from the ski boats went down a few decimals and the lake began to lay
> flat and calm. My first evening swim was wonderful until a drunken boat
> load of screaming freaks came roaring down my side of the shore and just
> missed me as I swam for my life, but this was fun stuff, right?
> 
> After figuring out that my little tent actually had mosquito netting and
> that a cool evening sent the monster biters back to the swamps, things
> got much better. I figured out that they don't count mosquitoes around
> here but measure them in density. I'm sure it was something like One
> Million per cubic foot!
> 
> The night wore on and I took out my daughters smaller guitar, oh yes, had
> to bring a guitar along for some entertainment, after all, it wasn't safe
> for me to be alone with my own mind for too long. I sat there under the
> trees looking out over the lake just meditating while plucking a few soft
> sounds. This went on for an hour or so when a boat came along and stopped
> a short distance off my beach. 
> 
> I thought they were maybe enjoying the soft strings of my nights
> ponderings but apparently they were thinking if it was worth while to
> come ashore and mug me for beer? I say beer because during one of my
> better tunes, at least I thought so, one gutteral voice yelled out, "Hey
> you stinkin jerk, do you got any beer for us?"
> 
> At first I was shocked, realizing that this drunken rap boat gang was
> serious and then I was insulted that they didn't really stop to hear my
> peaceful tunes of the night. Then I could hear them arguing about who
> might go to shore and check my ice chest out and I decided to fight back,
> and no way was I going to allow them to know I had burritos! 
> 
> "Don't even think of it dudes, for don't think that I'd be stupid enough
> to camp out alone without my Doberman, Brutus and not to think of
> bringing along my 45?" At this I gave forth a low growl and softly said,
> "Now Brutus, I know your not feeling all that well about not getting your
> normal five pounds of steak but maybe one of those idiots might oblige
> your hungry rage by stepping ashore, what you think there Brutus?" Then a
> louder growl and hey, this seemed to work until a beam of light that
> would blind a man on the moon came sweeping across my  camp site and
> alighted on me. 
> 
> I was really blind now but just looked over at my tent and said calmly,
> "Now brutus, I know it's tough on your pride but you stay there in your
> tent and obey me and keep me away from that gun, you know what my
> psychiatric therapist said about me and guns, be good now Brutus."
> 
> This  seemed to work, for a roar of laughter came from the boat and I
> heard one guy say, "This was really great entertainment, let's go get the
> rest of the gang  and hit another camp and come back here and convert
> this jerk to Rap music." And with this they started their engine, punched
> out and roared away with a two million watt sound system blaring out
> gutter rap and violent rap music!
> 
> Shortly thereafter while plucking out another tune, only this one being a
> little more nervous in its rhythm, I spied what seemed to be the
> beginning of a fire on the mountain across from me. 
> Oh no, hope its not a fire and I'll have to evacuate in the middle of the
> night. However, soon the flames or what I thought to be bright flames
> began to rise up. Sitting there a bit worried, listening for distant
> alarms, I soon saw a brilliant moon rise up over the mountain. Wow was
> all I could say!
> 
> No kidding, that moon was like a massive light so bright  I just became
> mesmerized, and to tell you the truth, this was a total surprise; and
> just because of that beautiful moon, I decided to spend the night, no
> matter even if the rapper boat gang decided to return, but they never
> showed
> lousy cowards!
> 
> I sat there in this near full moon light, watching its light glistening
> down over the water and shining directly into my camp. This was so
> awesome that I actually began to enjoy this serendipity moment, and
> finally thought to crawl into my sleeping bag.
> 
> It took about an hour to get comfortable on what came to be an immoveable
> rock under my tent. But I finally twisted my body around a few times and
> fell asleep for about twenty minutes when my bladder began to stretch out
> like one of those tubes behind a 90 mile an hour jet boat on the lake. So
> got undone, undid the tent flap, allowing herds of hungry blood thirsty
> mosquitoes to have their rights of blood exercised on me and cracked my
> tow on one of those larger rocks, and finally found a tree to water. 
> Made a big mistake here, for when I leaned my hand on the tree for
> balance it became stuck to what was a years supply of tree sap that was
> now flowing out in the hot summer days. This was really bad because I had
> no way of getting it off, not even with dirt, rocks or peanut butter.
> 
> After deciding that a sticky hand didn't really matter for real
> outdoorsmen, I gave up and got back to my tent safely, tucked back in and
> fought off the buzzing bombers and must have dozed off. Somewhere in here
> between a dream of my daughter buying $300 worth of peanut butter and my
> wife taking out more life insurance on me, I was startled by a light
> shining in my face and thought for sure that those rap boat gangers had
> come to get me. That billion watt light which was now melting my eyebrows
> off my face, turned out to be the rising sun! 
> 
> This couldn't be true, for how could I the blind man have aligned my tent
> door, perfectly and exact to the east, to greet the rising sun. I thought
> that maybe I had some ancient Egyptian blood in me, for they seemed to
> line everything up with the rising sun too.  The only thing was, I didn't
> come hear to meet the rising sun with my face. It had to be about 5:30 am
> and not a peep could be heard anywhere. I rolled over and tried to get
> back to sleep but again my bladder started screaming at me but I told it
> to go to where old stretched bladders go to!
> 
> Eventually I rolled out of my blazing tent into a brilliant burning day, 
> scorching my white body to a dark brown within minutes. And of course I
> had lost my sun glasses in one of those super balancing canoe tricks. And
> so there I was and began my first full day with a terrible headache and
> my sappy and very sticky hand over my eyes, trying to protect them from a
> lazar operation, that I didn't really want.
> 
> I stumbled down to my canoe to see if it was still there. Only fell twice
> and banged up my knee because the rope had slackened due to the drop in
> the lake. The canoe was there and so  decided while the water was still
> nice and calm I would go in for a morning swim, wash off the blazing burn
> on my face and maybe quench the fiery bites now numbering at least ten
> thousand, and oh was that water cold, and I had to remind myself that I
> was having fun! 
> 
> Ok now, what to do with the rest of the day? If I were to tell of all my
> adventures here, I could have a book, but I think it's best to just
> highlight a couple of the more interesting ones instead. 
> I immediately dug into my food supply and had several hot Chile filled
> burritos for breakfast, O friends, truly the wrong thing to do if your
> not prepared to use the outdoors or bushes in the wilderness. 
> 
> Please understand that this is ok for a normal sighted person, but
> imagine a blind guy pulling his canoe into what he thinks to be a quiet
> isolated cove, and fighting his way into the bushes to be suddenly
> pounced upon by someone's mad camp dog. And then a whole camp family
> looks over the bushes to see what the heck Rover is barking at? 
> True and don't want to say more here but please don't eat bean filled
> burritos for breakfast folks, unless you got good eyes. Does this make
> any sense to you? 
> 
> It was already to late to explore the east fork of the lake so thought it
> might be best to head due north across to the distant and safe shallows
> and stump area where few boats travel and make my way around to the dock
> and store to see about fresh water and ice for my two year supply of
> those three pound burritos.
> 
> I loaded up with what I thought might be needed for the day and headed
> out north. Lesson here: while standing high upon an island looking out
> over a body of water, the distance on a lake doesn't seem to great, but
> once you get into a canoe and start paddling, that distance at water
> level turns into a voyage. 
> 
> One certainly learns fast about the safety of the visible shore,
> especially when he is a blind man, and leaves safe shore and warm tent
> behind, and gets caught into the open lake winds. Oh did I fail to
> mention that there seems to be a dislike for canoes by ski boats? Yes,
> this is sort of like the rivalry between skiers and snow boarders but in
> this case the canoe has a real disadvantage. And so it was when a ski
> boat came at me a hundred miles an hour, and didn't see me until it was
> three feet away, and made a sudden turn, leaving a four foot wave flowing
> over my head.  This is where I think my camera might have gotten  its
> final soaking. 
> 
> Now these so called lake breezes are nothing for a heavy boat with a 90
> horse powered motor, but try this with a sixteen foot  empty canoe,
> pushed by an old blind man, totally out of shape and just knows he is
> ready heart attack  material. These hurricane like winds seem to have a
> mind of their own and want to take your boat south in the opposite
> direction to the dam, where the only way out is either over the spillways
> or by helicopter! 
> 
> Of course my expertise came into play here and I promised myself never to
> do this again. After about two hours of heavy paddling, totally sun
> burned, even under my eye lids and near exhaustion I arrived into shallow
> water. I immediately found a rocky shore and loaded up the bow of my
> canoe with about 50 pounds of rocks to keep the boat from being blown off
> course like  a paper bag in the wind
> pretty smart, Aah?  
> 
> Somewhere in here I am sure I discovered the first damage to my brand new
> camera. So much for my new camera. I now spent another hour trying to
> shake the water out of it and got it working good enough to at least
> click and move forward. But my camera repair ability ended abruptly the
> next day, when I allowed the knot to untie, and without realizing it the
> camera slid into deep water in the back of the boat and remained
> underwater all night. So as mentioned above, all pictures will be hence
> described.
> 
> Photo #3: This shot is looking through the multitude of stumps in the
> shallow part of the lake. Off in the far distance you can see my island,
> I call it my island because I'm still the only one staying on it. There
> on the eastern tip in the trees you might be able to see my little tent
> blowing in the breeze. If you look hard enough you'll also see the low
> area just behind my tent, hey, that is the swamp area that I'm planning
> to explore soon. I suspect that this swamp area is where those clouds of
> mosquitoes are coming from. I fixed this photo into my mind, for it's the
> only reference point there is for me to get back. It's easy to get turned
> around in the wind and lose ones perspective. You will also notice the
> glare of the sun upon the water, this is also how I come to navigate
> direction; sort of like a wild goose does. I know as long as I keep the
> sun on my left I'm going south but once it gets directly overhead
> anything can happen and so it did.  
> 
> Now finding the lake and store dock wasn't all that hard to do, just had
> to follow the music, the roar of boat engines and the smells.
> 
> It did get a little tough when I couldn't find the entrance into the boat
> dock area, it was somewhat obscured  by the huge signs that announced the
> ENTRANCE!!! 
> 
> Ok, once through the 50 foot opening I played dumb. By this you must
> understand that it might be a little strange to paddle into a harbor
> where there are tons of moving boats worth lots of money and holler out,
> "hey anyone out there, I'm blind, can you help me find my way to the
> dock, where I can park this dang plastic ship?" 
> 
> Can you imagine the reaction one might get? "Blind, hey why the heck is
> this guy allowed loose on the lake in the first place, isn't he a danger
> to every living thing?" 
> 
> "How stupid can one get, a blind man feeling his way around a huge lake,
> doesn't he know that lakes don't have brail?" And so this is why I prefer
> to just be cool and play dumb!
> 
> Not bad, only bounced off one large cruiser that didn't even see me and
> another ski boat threw some empty beer cans at me, at least I thought
> they were empty, and another boat shoved me off with a long stick but
> eventually among some cussing and ill aimed words, I found a quiet place
> to tie up to, and crawled onto the rocking dock. 
> 
> Oh yes, got to realize that once you been in a rocking boat for three
> hours, hey your brain sort of sticks in that motion and you rock while
> you walk. Now add near blindness to this rock-n-roll and put all this
> into a real grubby bearded package and you got one heck of a curiosity?
> 
> Everyone seemed to stay out of my way as both the dock and me was rockin
> as I stumbled along headed up and up to where there existed a store. A
> few far out hippie types gave me the "Hey man got a beer query" but I
> acted like I was a blind man who just paddled in on a canoe and was
> rockin my brains out and they backed off. Got to the store, thought I was
> buying water and soda but later I discovered it turned out to be some
> Alligator Juice and guess what, yes it was Beer! At first I was really
> upset, but then thought this might be one of those times that I could win
> my freedom from the rapper boat gang if they did return, and so kept it
> for a possible bribe. 
> 
> Then finally I found the ice, and made sure it was ice, couldn't go much
> wrong there but left short changed. Hey, no big deal, wrong change is
> normal when people discover you can't see if your handing over a $10 or a
> $20 bill but in this case, I only had tens and didn't lose to much;
> besides how are you going to argue this if you can't see the change they
> gave you back anyhow? Lesson #22 here; trust people to do right but
> always carry small bills, you lose less when they do rip you off!!
> 
> After a wonderful time bumping around in that air conditioned store I
> made my way back to the dock area. I got back to my canoe or at least
> where I thought I left my canoe. Oh wow, what the heck happened to my
> boat or to my borrowed boat? 
> 
> Did I forget where I parked it or what? I retraced my directions and
> counted my steps, checked out the sun and stood there baffled, this had
> to be the right dock, I couldn't have got that turned around, could I?
> Then some kind dock worker, I think it was the driver of the Rap gang
> boat, because he had blue hair,  told me that he had moved it to the
> other side, because I was parked in the Coast Guard spot and thought they
> might not take a liking to my audacious action. I thanked him as he told
> me that I only owed him $10 bucks for parking and tie up fee's, just
> kidding, he then added, "I'll collect later!" 
> 
> This guy was cool, he saw that I was a real lake bum, and instantly took
> a liking to me and wanted to know if I wanted to buy ten pounds of island
> grown swamp dope or needed any pain killers.  Those pain killers tempted
> me but hey, what's a challenge with pain killers? 
> I told him "Na, can't you see, I am pretty well out of it now, really
> don't need anything else, just might crash and burn in my mean canoe!"
> 
> Thus my first stop at the dock concluded and I had the place wired. What
> I mean by wired is that a blind person or someone with poor sight is
> always marking his way with signs and sounds, and stores this information
> away for later use, if ever need be. This is why my mind is filled up
> with billions of useless facts, sounds and notes. Now if and when I
> returned, I knew how to get into the harbor, where to tie up to and
> exactly how many steps up to the parking lot and how many steps up to the
> store, which side the door opened up to and where the beer was and the
> water was not.
> 
> Photo #4: Now can you see all those hundreds of boats, well my canoe was
> right smack dab in the middle of them all. Those few people standing at
> the dock with raised fists are especially raised towards me, because I
> accidentally made a two hundred thousand dollar boat swerve and hit the
> dock. Fortunately no one was hurt, but guess the gas pump had to be shut
> down for a few hours and I got away just as the Coast Guard came to
> investigate the gas spill.
> 
> At last some peace came to me, thinking I knew my way back to my island
> with clear sailing or should I say paddling, and off I went fully assured
> of a safe trip home
> WRONG! 
> 
> Once out of the boat dock area, I went southeast, tracing my route
> backwards. Along the outer dock, along the tree lined shore, up to the
> big rock, then into the hundreds of stumps, but first my bladder was
> calling again, so this meant a swim. But while taking a quick swim I 
> thought to explore the sandy shore here for later stops. While walking
> around, just missed a great disaster when I stepped into a old fire pit
> partially covered with sand and my foot sank into three inches of broken
> wine bottles. "Oh sheet," I shouted and jumped back and sat down on the
> hot sand and burnt my rear  while checking out my foot. By the way, since
> I forgot my bathing suit an  jogging pants were way to hot, I was now
> wearing blue underwear instead. Those old tire tread sandals saved the
> day for me except for one three inch gash on my right foot but just
> rubbed old ashes into it and decided to leave this exploring stuff well
> enough alone for now. 
> 
> Just want to let the reader of this narrative know that partially sighted
> humans very often find troubles that would not normally come to sighted
> folks.  Why would a sighted person step into a fire pit? Why would a
> sighted person trip over a very visible log or a bolder the size of a
> Volkswagen, fall, and hit his elbow on a rock, and come up screaming? 
> Why, oh why would anyone have to count steps, measure distances,
> calculate times, shadows and directions, just to buy a bottle of water?
> And all this trying to be accomplished in a state of pure normalcy? What
> the heck would a normal person even be doing out here in this situation.
> I thought all this while trying to get my anger under control and as I
> looked around, couldn't hear nor see anyone and realized that a normal
> human would never have been here at all, and then fully understood that I
> was not normal and could never be so!
> 
> Ah now, through the stumps I paddled,  and got stuck in quicksand and mud
> and sand at least a dozen times, and was attacked by diving geese  when I
> entered into a no human zone,   but eventually found the deep water. Took
> a sighting of the sun, looked for my two mountains and the island and
> wahla, I was lost!  
> No way, how could this be, the island was right there this morning? 
> 
> Ok, lets get logical. The sun is now right in the middle of the sky, not
> good, but the mountain is still there, isn't it? 
> Yes, so lets head a little to the right of that peak and in a short time
> we should arrive at my island, right? 
> 
> Well of course, this is perfect logic for a human with sight but not so
> good for men of limited vision.
> 
> No matter what, that island wasn't going to disappear on me like that,
> it's got to be out there somewhere and away I went. About a half hour
> into this long distant paddle, the afternoon wind came on. Oh yes, it
> came directly out of the south and for every paddle stroke I took
> forward, I went backwards three strokes. It took about an hour of getting
> nowhere and some really bad chest pains to make me realize that something
> else had to be done. The first thing was to put on my life jacket, oh,
> bet you thought I didn't have one right? True, but my buddy Jack wouldn't
> loan me his canoe unless I took one, and oh boy did it come in handy,
> thanks friend!
> 
> Thus, at this time I  gave up the paddling stuff, jumped over board, took
> the bow rope and began swimming towards the island, now towing my canoe!
> 
> Now if you ever thought distance was all in perspective, then you never
> tried towing a canoe in 40 mile an hour winds and having two foot waves
> splash in your face every second. Perspective, sure, just try it one day
> and see if you can find your way, only close your eyes. 
> 
> The winds had driven all the boats that might have possibly rescued me
> off the lake and I was alone. I could have just let the wind take me back
> to broken bottle beach but no way was I going to give up, and so
> continued to swim. After about an hour of this I had no idea where I was
> but the wind had not slowed its blow against me and my little boat. Well
> then, I knew I was at the end of my line, and that was true,  so thought
> I'd turn to higher powers and did so. Hey guess what, within ten minutes
> the wind began to die down to almost nothing. I pondered distances on
> this matter. Just how long does it take for a prayer to reach the One in
> control of wind on lakes, and then does He have to notify another power
> and then someone gets out there and actually tells the wind maker to
> stop? Why ten minutes, why not three, I pondered, it must be some flaw in
> the  system.
> 
> Photo #5: You can see a drifting canoe, empty and alone, sort of looks
> eerie in a way, especially as you notice the coast guard boat coming up
> to se what the heck was going on? Reminds me of a Warning Poster in the
> Coast Guard Office to never go out on a windy lake alone.  
> 
> At this point in my swim and pull session, the Coast Guard boat nearly
> ran me down but I dove under the canoe just in time. I came up choking
> and surprised the officer looking my boat over. 
> "Hey, what the heck are you doing out here alone, don't you know that
> these afternoon winds howl through this channel and can actually turn
> boats over," he asked in irritation.
> 
> "Well sort of Sir Officer Friend and Pal but I'm training for the old man
> Olympics and need to exercise and thought this wind would be a challenge
> to me. But if you think there is any danger of me hurting anyone else,
> you can tow me to the island if you would?"
> 
> "Well, that is not our job if your training for the Olympics and we
> wouldn't want to damage your chances of qualifying
> but just to let you
> know, your about 50 feet from the island already."
> 
> I couldn't believe it and put my foot down and oh wow, touched bottom!
> Remember that thing about perspective, well that is how it works for me.
> 
> I stood up and pulled the canoe towards shore and asked the officer
> standing there laughing, "Did my wife put you guys up to this?"
> 
> "Sir, what makes you think such a thing?"
> 
> "Well, its just the way you showed up at just the right time and you
> seemed to know something about me. And you asked me if I had paid my
> insurance premium and if I still had plenty of burritos?"
> 
> The swift talking officer hesitated for a moment but then muttered, "In
> all fairness, we did get a strange call from a woman muttering something
> about a old nut lost on the lake, and if we would keep an eye out for
> him, since he had none and something to keep him alive until the new
> policy went through. Then there's the smell of gas in a canoe?"
> 
> "That does it, enough of this training for the old folks Olympics, I
> quit!" I shook my head but thought, "And by the way, do you guys want a
> soda, it's a long story, but got a few very different ones here on ice."
> 
> They gladly accepted, took a double take but  went their way and I
> paddled around the tip and brought my boat to a safe stop in its niche
> and I was home by early evening, three hours late.
> 
> No doubt, I was tired, sore and there were muscles on my body that even
> medical charts didn't know about, but hey, this was great and a raw
> experience for sure. I wanted challenge and I certainly got challenge.
> And no doubt, my first challenge was to figure out how I was going to
> keep my face from dropping off with a sunburned smile still attached to
> my facial bones?
> 
> Then there were those unpleasant unmentionables like hemorrhoids , tired
> ear drums, rumbling intestines, drained brain and a gash on my foot along
> with a rash from my jogging pants that could put a new pharmacy into
> business with only one purchase of rash cream or some other magic potion,
> but oh boy was I having fun! 
> I made it back and I  joyfully rolled up my ball bearing pathway to my
> camp, screamed at the crows and squirrels that were now sitting around my
> camp site as if they owned the place. I saw that they had helped
> themselves to my burrito supply (they were gonna be sorry) but I really
> didn't care at this time. I put in what was left of my block of ice and
> fell into my tent and even that rock under my bed felt wonderful.
> 
> I don't know how much time passed but found myself in a hideous nightmare
> and awoke with the roaring of evil, devil inspirited rap kill everyone
> music and either my sight had totally failed or it was now pitch black
> outside. Sure enough, the sun was gone and the lake was wild with boaters
> gone mad, and my mood was not proving itself to be so tolerable and
> screamed out, "Shut that satanic god forsaken devil worshipping, good for
> nothing jungle loser screaming garbage music off or I'll come out there
> and sink your freaking boats!!!"
> 
> Suddenly the entire lake went quiet and I said, "Thank you and keep my
> lake quiet!"
> 
> With this, everything that could make noise burst into even louder sound
> systems and this was bad at first until I realized that this concussion
> throbbing through the air was cutting a swath through the hoards of
> mosquitoes in mid flight! Decided to wait it out, went for a late evening
> swim and washed a lot of pain away and after drying off, sat down to
> enjoy another great meal of
> burritos AGAIN?
> 
> Night flushed in quietly and I was ready this time, for the fire on the
> mountain burst again and soon the full moon arose so bright this time
> that I had to hide from it, thought it would burn me worse. Truly my
> spirit was calmed and the entire day of trials faded away with the sight
> of this awesome moon. I got out my guitar again and this time enjoyed
> watching the sparkling moon beams dance on the water and I think that
> this moon had even awed the rap gang into silence, and it was peaceful.  
> 
> Wrong, and Nada, the full moon only must have driven these rap nuts out
> of their holes, for about an hour later here they came picking on me
> again. I guess because my camp site was so right there on the point of
> the island they couldn't miss me. Lesson #33-Never over expose yourself
> or make yourself an easy target! But this time I was ready for them. When
> they started yelling for beer, I said, "O, humans with subnormal
> intelligence, you dinghy dog dungsters rap rebels, you want beer, you'll
> get beer!"
> 
> At this moment I think that I must have felt invincible, after my near
> death experience of today, and my calming of the wind prayer, and told
> this boat load of punk rappers to get ready for beer for it was on its
> way. And with this, I took up a can, popped its popper or whatever else 
> you call it and with all my might screamed sort of a mad gorilla screech
> of attack,  and threw the can at their boat. I heard the first cann hit
> the side of their boat, and someone yelled, "Sheet, this guy is nuts,
> he's throwing beer at us!"
> 
> I guess you might say I sort of had it with this ruination of nature, and
> with this announcement I screamed another  blood curdling scream of, "
> Death to hideous death rapper music, and all those who insult peaceful
> waters," and proceeded to bombard their boat with open cans of beer! 
> 
> At first there was a scream and then another; to come and get me, but I
> guess I must have hit someone pretty good and this knocked some sense
> into them. 
> 
> Apparently, they decided that it was best to leave this out of mind-mad
> old blind man alone and thus they started up their engine and split with
> the last beer can bouncing off the drivers blue dyed head, and the boat
> swerved a few times and finally disappeared around the corner, never to
> be heard of again.
> 
> Just then a chorus of  applause and cheers arose up from across the way,
> and down the shore from camps that I didn't even know existed. Guess they
> had it with these  rappers too. But it took an old mosquito bitten mad
> man gone wild, to step forth in pure blind insanity, and armed with
> weapons, derived from mistaken intent, and  caused peace to arrive for
> many, and so that second night ended.
> 
> Next day as the blinding sun glazed its way into my tent I heard people
> talking and walking on the path behind my tent. I looked out and realized
> that my desert island was now invaded by what seemed to be an Eagle Scout
> group. This was ok with me as long as they didn't need special survival
> training from an old expert in outdoor living? They were on some kind of
> a training test mission and were often made curious with some of my
> antics. One was that I would slip on swim fins without them seeing this
> and I would then be able to swim half way across the channel in three
> seconds and they would stop what they were doing and watch this old
> bearded man zoom through the waters as I awed them with my extraordinary
> swimming ability. Well, the scouts stood there reading the posted signs,
> looking over at me and were shaking their heads while whispering among
> themselves.  
> 
> This time I thought to get an early start on exploring the east fork of
> the Detroit Lake and began paddling across the channel to the eastern
> side before to much time went on. There is a river that comes into this
> end of the lake and along this fork of the river there are a few homes
> with some nice beaches and docks. I paddled along this far edge trying to
> stay away from the camps on the other side. Hey this was easy and rather
> nice and just might take a few pictures along here.
> 
> Photo #5: See that growling dog, its either a Doberman or a Rotwhiler but
> its coming at me. I thought I better snap a picture of it for insurance
> purposes or maybe my wife might want to see what I saw in my last
> moments. Sometimes its better for partially sighted people to stay in
> their boats rather than explore interesting beaches which belong to
> X-Prison Wardens or government assassination agents. But hey, I only
> wanted to take a nice picture of this snarled old tree with the river in
> the back ground and the sun shining through the trees, but oh no, this
> mad guard dog had to get all pushed out of shape and think to do its job!
> Well, narrowly escaped that one when the flash went off and the beast
> halted just for long enough for me to leap into the water and drag my
> canoe away and that was close.
> 
> They say that fear is the beginning of wisdom thus fear of mad guard dogs
> and the winds made me wiser to life this day and before the time of the
> terrible winds I headed home. Spent the day smearing peanut butter onto
> my sunburn. Hey now, this was in one of my survival manuals way back
> when. I think it was actually on the back of a Skippy's peanut butter
> jar, published by the company years ago. But it seemed to cool my burn
> down and maybe it would stop the blistering. All was going well until I
> had a few Eagle Scouts dressed in their uniforms stop by my camp, wanting
> to introduce themselves but stopped short when they saw what looked like
> possible manure smeared all over my face. I had forgotten about this "oil
> of peanut" on my face and stood up to greet them but suddenly they were
> gone and that was it for my relationship with the Eagle Scouts.
> 
> Wow I thought, now if I can somehow show my face to those rappers (if
> they ever showed up again) this just might do the trick.
> 
> That night the moon arose brilliant again, only further to the east and
> an hour later but it was worth waiting for.
> 
> Ok, it was about five  days gone now and thought I'd better call home and
> report in. Checked my batteries, dialed and let it ring. Immediately the
> answering machine answered and my wife's voice came on saying
> "Went
> shopping, spending husbands inheritance, won't be back for a week,
> staying at beach in excellent 5-star hotel, if you need anything, find
> husband on desert island in Detroit and tell him your needs, thank you,
> call back in two weeks!" 
> With this, my battery warning light went off!
> 
> Two weeks, hey if that is what you girls want, then that's ok with me.
> Wait a minute, I only got another 100 burritos and that ain't gonna last
> but another three days if I don't die first?
> 
> That's life and that's my wife! Ok, got to get serious here, better
> measure out my food supply, now I wonder why she borrowed my last twenty
> from me, probably making sure I didn't have enough money to call home.  I
> guess I could become the lakes canoe beggar. Just show up at different
> camps along the shore and beg for money. No worries man, its gonna be ok
> I thought and went for another swim. 
> 
> Well now, the last exploration trip I took was up the north fork river on
> a Saturday, totally the wrong thing to do, absolutely wrong, really bad
> and very wrong, can't stress this more! Oh well, maybe not for those who
> have at least an ounce of vision to assist them but as you know by now,
> this is not my case. 
> 
> Now let me tell you about Saturdays on this lake. I'm sure this is a
> prison worker population and Saturdays is when they are all pardoned, and
> for sure it's a free zone for drunks and freaks to literally go nuts
> behind the wheel of a boat. Nothing is held back  and everything is game;
> try and kill anyone and everyone that might get in their way and special
> prizes for all kills,  and especially those in canoes! 
> 
> So in all naivety, I paddled two hours trying to  reach the north fork,
> but before I got there, I was nearly sunk three times by boats going at
> least fifty in the slow zone, and this was the Coast Guard! 
> 
> Ok, passed under what turned out to be a bridge; discovered that when the
> entire structure shook, rumbled and swayed all around me and scared the
> kahooties out of me but was shocked to find myself in the midst of a
> parking lot of boats. These boats weren't floating still but were all
> moving around in tight circles like sharks waiting for gas. It was too
> late before I found myself right in the middle of this fiasco.
> 
> Huge boats filled with naked screaming people or what I thought were
> naked people for when they hung over to scream at me I couldn't see any
> thing but teeth and wide open mouths. They would putt right up to me and
> look down into my boat and scream "How freaking cute, should we kill this
> lake rat?" 
> 
> All this abuse, and several dumped their trash into my boat thinking I
> was a lake bag person and the music  got worse! 
> That so called music blasted from every boat and bounced off the canyons
> and everyone was partying and screaming obscenities at one another. At
> one point I had to get out of my canoe and walk it along the shore to
> escape the waves and prevent a sudden tip over. 
> 
> I would have turned back but it was that time of day already went the sun
> blared brightest into my eyes and I thought to maybe hang out up river
> until the afternoon, regardless of the wind and then try and make it
> back. 
> 
> Then after all this, the real fun began, when some stupefied lady came
> rumbling down the narrow river channel, and played Russian Crash Your
> Boat First, but was forced by a bigger boat to turn and got stuck on my
> muddy sand bar. Guess who became the blame for her stupidity, you got it!
> She was soon swearing up a storm, and within moments another boat full of
> her drunken  friends showed up and all  of them wanted to help their
> queen in distress. I guess one of these guys was the rightful owner of
> the boat and his blurry eyes were looking at me. He said something about
> kicking my donkey and I'd better get ready!
> 
> "Ok sir, going right now, no need to get hostel about this, after all it
> was your drunken good for nothing rotten stinking ugly loser queen that
> got your cheap broken down boat stuck!" Truly this wasn't one of my finer
> moments but hey, a man in a little canoe can only take so much, right?
> 
> Well immediately it seemed as though the entire river went silent as this
> gang of rumblers jumped into the river and began to sludge towards me.
> Now I'm not real smart but know when the odds are fixed against me, and
> so pushed my canoe into the deeper water and let the current take it,
> while I dove under water, sort of pulling myself along the muddy bottom. 
> 
> I came up on the other side of the queens boat and just hid there. Wasn't
> sure what to do but I learned long ago that distraction works wonders in
> situations like this.  And so reached down and grabbed up a huge handful
> of really sticky mud and then whispered up to the woman, "Hey you ugly
> mama queen, look here," and when she did I splatted it right into her
> face!
> 
> Holy moly, all the under world broke out. And sometimes confusion can be
> used as a great tool and so more mud went flying. Shock was the first
> reaction as the drunks tried figuring out where the flying mud was coming
> from. Soon  a few of the hunters were tossing mud at those who they
> thought had splatted them, and soon they were yelling at each other and
> within moments they were all throwing mud at each other. Within a minute
> or two, a full fledged river riot had broken out and soon other boats
> joined into the mud fight. I saw several groups of people on shore come
> running over to the fracas and they got splattered, and soon they were
> joined in, throwing mud in all directions. 
> 
> I thought it best to go into a disguise mode and simply smeared my face
> with a good glob of mud and drifted down stream and started looking for
> my canoe. I washed off my peanut butter and mud compress from my face,
> and asked someone on shore if they had seen a drifting canoe; and they
> pointed further down river on the other side somewhere. I swam as hard as
> I could across the channel and just as I reached my canoe the Coast Guard
> came hauling up with some weird siren going, woo-woo, wee-wee! I was out
> of there in a few paddles and pretty well scraped a few nice boats on my
> way out, but told everyone to get out of my way, for the mad lake man was
> coming through and I was now screaming Woo-Woo, Wee-Wee!!
> 
> Photo #6: Sort of a blurry shot here, but was on the move. That is not a
> car lot in the background but its an actual view of the number of boats
> crowded together. That brown blurry area above the boats in my opinion is
> the flying mud and I caught it as things were cooling down. The odd wall
> on the left is the side of the one big boat I scraped. 
> You can see the marks along the side but to bad. And if you look close
> enough you'll see my buddies the Coast Guard trying to get their boat
> through the parking lot.
> 
> Ok, I might have exaggerated this a little but mud and boats, anger and
> that Woo-Woo, Wee-Wee were all there on Saturday and I made it back to
> camp weary, exhausted and ready for more burritos.
> 
> Another moon filled night came and went and I began to wonder about this
> desert island thing. I hadn't talked in normal terms with anyone else for
> a week now and a man can only enjoy so many moon rises. I took inventory
> of my self and of my supplies and found that I was running low on
> burritos , down to about 40 and some of those were growing moldy. For
> myself, well this old man had lost about 20 pounds, most of that was from
> loss of blood by mosquito bites and fingernails and much of my outer skin
> was falling away in huge patches, which made me look like a leper. No
> problem, this was one of the highlights of my summer and the only thing
> that worried me was the stomach and lower intestinal pains, which were
> now coming on a regular interval.   
> 
> My indecision of staying for another week or to call my wife to come pick
> me up was solved that day when my buddies from the Coast Guard came by,
> and through their bull horn, warned me of heavy winds and a lightening
> storm that was to arrive soon. They kindly asked me to evacuate my camp
> site and head for safer ground.  
> I explained to them that I had nowhere to go, my wife was hiding out at
> the Hilton on the beach, my youngest daughter had spent our family budget
> on peanut butter and my older daughter was sleeping until next week, and
> no way would she wake up for her father in distress. They asked me if
> there was anything they could do for me, I just told them to not worry, I
> had made my last months payment on my life insurance policy, and to leave
> me be for now, I'd find my way.
> 
> While pondering my dilemma and eating one of the last untainted burrito
> delights, my cell phone suddenly rang. At first I didn't even recognize
> it, you know its been a week now. Finally found the right button and saw
> that I had about two seconds left on it and heard a garbled voice on the
> other end saying something about maybe or today, storm
> and then my
> battery went dead!
> 
> I knew it wasn't my wife or daughters, it had to be my life insurance
> agent, just checking up on me. Well if my agent cared that much for me,
> at least I could oblige him by heading for safer ground and so I began
> packing. It was really hard saying goodbye to my excellent camp site and
> the swamp bugs, but soon I was packed up. You know, when your finally
> finding happiness and growing in experience, its hard to say goodbye; but
> I stood there and thanked my camp site, the bugs, mosquitoes, crows  and
> other strange animals  for so many grand memories.
> 
> Soon the canoe was floating full, but not so deep in the water this time,
> for there were no more burritos weighing me down, I had fed the last 40
> of them to the birds and bugs.
> 
> Photo #7: This is a lake view looking up to my camp site. That is not
> really a cloud There but it's the first wave of mosquitoes sent in to
> feast on me. Those shiny tree trunks are not painted that way but are
> slick from dripping sap. You might be asking why I left such good ropes
> still stretched between the trees, well, they were now stuck and glued to
> the trunks with the sap and couldn't get them off, nor the sap from my
> face and hands. Those dark spots up in the tree, they are crows,
> squirrels and a few other strange creatures that were now expelling large
> quantities of gas
> told them that they'd pay for stealing my burritos! 
> And finally, if you look real close you will see dark splats along my
> pathway, those are the places marked with my blood when I slipped and
> fell and most of them made just a few minutes ago while carrying my stuff
> down to the canoe.
> 
> It was still about a hundred degrees and the long hard paddle along the
> island was somewhat easier. For this time I wasn't so concerned about
> disturbing fishermen, swimmers or skiers; guess experience toughens up a
> real man, right? 
> 
> After a good hour the sky still looked clear and there was little wind
> and so stopped for a refreshing swim on the west side of the island.
> Pulled into a tiny cove that I alone only knew about and dove into the
> clear cool waters. When I came up a voice startled me, "Hey aren't you
> that blind guy who is camped out in that forbidden camp site on the tip
> of the island?" 
> 
> What the heck I thought, I didn't see anyone in my little cove but asked,
> "How do you know I'm blind and what do you mean forbidden camp site?"
> 
> This guy in a very familiar boat leaned over and began telling me that
> everyone on the lake has been alerted to an old bearded man, somewhat
> odd, a little crazy, goes around talking to stumps and his wife is trying
> to find him!
> 
> All I could say was, "Sheeet, so much for privacy
> right Dear, but thanks
> for caring?"
> 
> Then as I climbed into my canoe and pulled his fishing hook out of my
> shorts, asked, "What about this forbidden site thing?"
> 
> "Oh yeah, everyone knows about that, thought you had to be a real
> greenhorn to not realize it yourself."
> 
> "What the heck you talking about sir?"
> 
> "Well that area is a National Reserve for the new breed of power eating
> Mosquitoes, didn't you read the signs?"
> 
> "Well, not really, did see a few signs but thought they were just have a
> good stay welcome signs," I coolly replied.
> 
> He then added, "Didn't you get acquainted with those National Guard guys
> that were testing for new chemical repellent sprays in the last few
> days?"
> 
> "Ah, na, didn't really have the chance," I thought back on the Eagle
> Scouts as I replied.
> "By the way sir, how did you know I was blind?"
> 
> He looked over at his wife and said, "Remember that first day when you
> came paddling up to the south end," I nodded yes, "Well we saw you
> squinting and zig zagging all over the place and when you paddled over
> our lines and began talking with those stumps, well we figured you might
> be a little short sighted and just let you be. Normally we shoot all
> those who cross our lines but in your case, we felt to give you a break
> and maybe you'd just go away and you did!"
> 
> I thanked the man and his wife for not shooting me, scratched my arms a
> few times, and paddled out of my little island cove, never looking back,
> as if that would do any good anyhow. With the sun at my back I headed for
> mountain number two and off a little to the right (my memory markers) and
> sure enough, just as I got to the middle of the lake the blue haired
> freaks came roaring at me again but this time they saw who it was, turned
> down their rap crap and made a wide curve around me and the waters
> remained still! 
> 
> Within an hour the shore came into view and so did a hundred boats all
> launching from the boat launch. Made my way to shore and took bearing of
> my position. 
> Hey not to bad this time, I was only off the mark by a half mile and so
> paddled south to the new dock. Here there were more people, swimmers,
> boaters, sailors, jet skiers and fishermen, than you'd fine at a sporting
> show, but I made my way through, around and among them. 
> 
> For some reason everyone became somewhat obliging to me and many asked if
> I needed some help. I first thought that maybe there were some good folks
> in the world, but then I realized what I had to look like, and for sure,
> people had no choice but to ask someone in my condition for help. I
> looked like I had been ground up under a boat propeller and tied under
> water for a week to be fed on by the fish, and then tossed into the
> bushes for the bugs and monster mosquitoes to eat the rest. Then there
> was the flaps of sunburn skin hanging down and so there I was! 
> 
> I also heard a few telling others that this was the guy who camped in the
> Mosquito Reserve and had attacked those rap dog freaks all on his own.
> And when I heard this, I made it known that I was a serious wildlife
> biologist and was paid great sums of money to observe and count the new
> breed of environmentally  protected swamp mosquitoes, and everyone
> stopped asking me if I needed assistance.
> 
> I climbed out onto the new dock, took stock of my situation and wondered
> what next to do here. Suddenly I heard a familiar horn honking and looked
> towards the parking area. Then I heard my wife's voice calling out,
> "Dear, I'm over here, just walk straight, stay to your right, and don't
> bump into anyone and watch out for those guys backing there boats up, you
> can make it, just let it be a challenge!" 
> 
> Of course, everyone for a hundred miles looked around to see who was
> being "challenged" and guided away by a hidden voice in a van?
> 
> So with my lovely wife parked behind a few trees, she says that this was
> to stay in the shade, but I knew it was because she didn't want anyone to
> know that I was acquainted with her. I loaded up the canoe, tossed in all
> my camping junk and climbed into the van utterly exhausted. 
> 
> My wife looked over at me and asked," What the heck does the bear look
> like Dear?" 
> She then smiled and handed me a bag and said, "Here Dear, I made these
> today, especially for you, I knew you would be coming home today and
> you'd be hungry."
> 
> I looked in the bag, and you got it right, it was BURRITOS!
> 
> Photo #8: That is me behind the hairy burnt mess, I'm actually smiling,
> see my teeth! This would make a great picture if all those other people
> weren't standing around gawking at me, wondering what the heck I was? And
> yes, that thing in my hand is a huge three pound bean burrito freshly
> made by my lovely wife, who cares so much for me. 
> 
> Thus, this ended Michael's Summer Island Challenge Canoe Trip on Lake
> Detroit, and I can't wait to get back next year! 
> 
> Watch Out Folks!
> 
> * Experienced and written By actual Experiencer
> Michael M. Tickenoff
> August Summer of 2005
> 
> Note: Michael is now opening up a Tour Guide Service, feel free and safe
> to call!
> 
> More Adventures To Soon Arrive, SEE
> you soon!
> 
> www.storynetadventures.com
> 
> TickPub Thanks You,
> All The Best And More,
> Regards And Respect From Michael!
> Visit www.storynetadventures.com Get Your Free Travel Humor Book!
> Just Click On The Blue Linked Book On The Shelf!
> <Old Blind Mike's Island Canoe Trip master revised 4-1 215.doc>
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