[stylist] Dealing with frustration memories!

Mon Apr 20 16:29:51 UTC 2015

Bridgit,
Good points, and I agree with you. It's not a mere accident that the only
blind woman most people can name died over 50 years ago. There's plenty of
prejudice to go around, but blind women seem to have more experiences of
being treated as though we were vulnerable and incapable of standing up for
ourselves. Your example with Ross is a case in point. I wonder if there are
stats on employment, income and education of blind people that break it down
by gender?
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bridgit
Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
Sent: Monday, April 20, 2015 9:52 AM
To: 'Semirhage'; 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Dealing with frustration memories!

First, I don't think anyone should see this as argueing. Debating and
discussing, even if we disagree, is not automatically the same as argueing
or fighting. I think it's healthy to express differing views and thoughts
and debate them as long as no personal attacks happen. Nothing wrong with
considering various points of view, smile.

Second, and not to get too feminine-isty here, but, in my opinion and
personal experience, being a woman tends to place you on the bottom of the
barrel in any discussion about prejudice. Race, sexual orientation,
disability, being a woman seems to highlight the issue. My husband and I are
both blind, and yet I often am treated much differently than he is. Like I'm
the pretty, little, vulnerable victim that requires more help than a man.
Regardless of what is happening.

For example, the other day, Ross and I went on a walk with our son. We took
a wrong turn, to which I ended up orientating myself sooner than Ross, who
stopped at a corner, using his cane to feel around, and listening, and I
continued walking. A neighbor instantly came up to me though, grabbed my
arm, and said, "Oh, let me help you so you don't get hurt." I was probably
ten feet from Ross, and while I kept a steady pace down the sidewalk, he had
stopped and cleary was getting his bearings, plus, he was pulling a wagon
behind him. Neither of us were in danger, but sighted people always seem to
leave Ross alone while I'm endlessly pestered. Stuff like this happens a
lot, and I think it's, at least in part, because I'm female.

I even had a close friend, who's wife is blind, tell my father that when I
was with said friend, my dad didn't have to worry because he, the friend,
would protect me.

Firstly, I am a grown adult, and I'm married and have a father, so no need
for extra male protection.

Secondly, I don't require protection just because I'm a woman. I found this
comment rude and insulting.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Semirhage via
stylist
Sent: Monday, April 20, 2015 12:36 AM
To: Applebutter Hill; Writers' Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] Dealing with frustration memories!

Prejudice is experienced by more than just blind people, though. Really.
And though skin color is totally included in this, I don't limit it to just
that either.
When my husband and his family moved from Russia  to Israel, he was
surprised at how many of the natives disliked the Russians for this or that
reason and they were all the same color. So he had the vision factor to deal
with plus the Russian factor which was also apparently an issue he didn't
expect.
And in Russia itself he had to hide the fact he was Jewish in school even
though he wasn't practicing because he'd have  been discriminated against
for that and with fists not words. IT was pretty harsh in soviet Russia in
the early 80's when he was a kid in elementary school before they left. All
this on top of the blindness, but even if he'd been fully sighted he'd have
still had the other problems.
I just feel that a lot of blind people want to feel the victim and not to
feel at one with others who are  also given crap by jerks. I don't make
these points  to argue. I dislike arguing. LOL. I make the point because
being hurt and sad and stressed is no fun and boxing oneself off and feeling
even more alone in a predominantly sighted world isn't really helpful or
true. There are many angry, depressed and sad sighted people.  I know a lot
of them. Many who are bullied for similar  reasons  to those I listed above,
or  because they're  fat, or short, or have a funny looking nose. I have
many sighted  friends who had a harder time of it in school than I did, and
trust me I got my share which is why I learned how to give it back. Yes
because I got angry. LOL. And it taught people not to mess with me. Many of
my sighted friends were hurt and retreated instead, and that didn't seem to
serve them as well, but to each their own. The point is feeling blind people
are  the only ones to relate to being needlessly hurt just serves to make
one feel even more ostracized, and that never leads  to happy warm feelings.

LOL.
I have had many friends who even call sighted people slang names that I find
rude, like  they're the only ones who can give people problems. LOL. I've
been treated rudely by blind people  too. I believe that people are  people
no matter their  eye condition skin color, language, country they were born,
any of that. Some are nice, some are not. Some are smart, and some  are
ignorant. It has to do with what kind of person they are, and not how  well
they can see. But speaking of sight, blind people, sighted people, will
choose to SEE the world or a situation any way they like. I choose to look
all around  rather than at just those emotions that seem to help me prove my
point. I'd rather be happy than right and that keeps  me growing. Again I
only say this as ostracizing only makes life harder. I tend to try to find
those good friends to whom I can relate no matter if they can see or not.
That's the way I see it for  what it's worth.
Sem
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.
I get along with the voices inside of my head.

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