[stylist] Jackie's special things prompt
Lynda Lambert
llambert at zoominternet.net
Mon Aug 3 18:54:10 UTC 2015
Barbara, my ideal life would have been to live on a farm - I visited farms
with my neighborhood friends and with school friends every chance I got.
I am the last person anyone would have ever thought would grow up to be an
educator - as I absolutely despised school from first grade through high
school. I can only name two teachers in those 12 years that influenced me
at all - both English teachers. The others are all part of a huge hot mess
in my mind if I even try to remember any of them. Some day I will write
about my first day in first grade - it's not a pretty story but it is
hilarious!!! And, things never progressed much from that first encounter -
but when I went to college, I had it all my way - a ticket to do whatever I
was interested in doing and profs that pushed and challenged students - I
could study and do anything I wanted to do academically. I could have been
a student forever. My opinion of public education is quite low. Many of the
most advanced students I was privileged to work with when I taught were from
home school families - and they were usually miles ahead of the students who
came from public schools. And, of course they were the most difficult
students to have in the classroom because they had expectations that were
very high and they challenged their peers. Lynda
-----Original Message-----
From: Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 03, 2015 2:21 PM
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Cc: Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Subject: Re: [stylist] Jackie's special things prompt
I was a Tom-boy until my teens. I actually was a weird assortment of things
now that I think about it. I loved playing outdoors, riding my bike,
building snow forts with friends or an Indian museum (long story and was my
idea, LOL) or having mock battles. My mom, who wanted a different type of
daughter, entered my sister and I in pageants, which the performing side of
me enjoyed (we did not do the kind where little girls parade about in skimpy
outfits and swim wear) or modeling school, where I eventually did end up
doing modeling for a short time (I just did not care for it). She was even
our Girl Scout leader, but we did things like make jewelry and model in
fashion shows, which again, I liked, because it allowed me to be a character
and perform. When I became a teenager, I really enjoyed fashion, though have
never been a huge fan of shopping, grin. I played sports up until junior
high, then music and theatre were more important, so my entire life was
taken up by theatre instead of sports. I never quite fit in though. I was
very athletic, a testament to my dance background, which I started at age
three, my mom being a dancer, but I was by no means a jock. I left the
soccer field, showered and put skirts and dresses back on, while most my
team mates preferred shorts and pants. I wore make-up during games, while
the other girls were fresh-faced. When I transitioned completely to theatre,
I found people I connected with emotionally and mentally much better, but it
still wasn't a 100% fit. I still dressed way different than other theatre
kids, and often my interest outside of theatre were called into question
just as my non-theatre friends called my theatre activities into question. I
was considered one of the popular kids, yet I had few friends, and according
to my GPA, I should have been clumped in with the nerds, smile. And I had a
lot of problems at home, yet at school, I was told that pretty girls don't
have problems, or that somehow being pretty lessens your problems, so I
never felt like I could totally reach out to anyone. I became a great
listener in my teens, smile. But I never felt like I was truly a part of
anything, didn't feel like I had people to turn too, was always feeling
lonely. Most kids and teens actually feel this way, and not a lot of teens
are comfortable in their own skins, but I grew up in a house where, among
many other things, I was not really encouraged to find out who I was, what
my likes were. To some extent, I still have chameleon behavior. It took a
long time for me to realize that I don't have to be what others want me to
be, that I can explore my own unique individuality, and if people like me
great, and if not, I don't have to be best friends with everyone. I still
don't always feel like I totally fit in, like I bridge different worlds. And
now I can throw blindness in because I was sighted until 22 and am now
totally blind, two other worlds I have lived in but never seem to fully fit
into on their own.
I smell some writing coming on, LOL!
Bridgit
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara
HAMMEL via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 03, 2015 11:04 AM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Barbara HAMMEL <poetlori8 at msn.com>
Subject: Re: [stylist] Jackie's special things prompt
I also was a bit of a tomboy. Though there was not much age difference
between my siblings and I, my brother and I were the younger set. I played
many a game of building roads and tunnels and cities in the dirt and playing
for hofffs with the rug city my mother painted for him — though in later
childhood I always had to be the farmer because he didn't like me running
over the buildings I can not see. LOL! Once, he and I tried to dig a hole to
China. Mom was NOT pleased with that endeavor. Between the ages of four and
eight my family rented a farmhouse and those are the best years of my
childhood as far as home life went. Once we moved to town my siblings ran
with their friends and I was too shy to make any. My excuse was why did I
need them since I spent more time away from home, three fourths of the way
across the state. At school I was the lone girl amongst all the boys for
playing sports.
Barbara
Sent from my iPhone
> On Aug 3, 2015, at 09:42, Lynda Lambert via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
>
> Hi Barbara,
> This poem stayed with me after I read it last night - I kept thinking of
> it during the night and again this morning. I think it is because it is a
> world that I am not at all aware of, in my own childhood. It is a
> plaintive cry - as each new quatrain begins with a sing-song refrain, a
> kind of feeling about the "dolls." Dolls are not at all a part of my
> childhood experience but they sure were in my sister's life. My sister
> and I do not even come from the same planet, I once told her.
>
> From the poem's beginning there is a tension between loving and holding
> onto the dolls, and a feeling of guilt or impending punishment for loving
> the dolls. Loneliness and insecurity are overcome by clinging to the
> little dolls. I have a feeling of sadness as I read this. I think you
> did a really good job of expressing your innermost thoughts in this poem
> and it is something many people can relate to. For me, it would never
> have been a doll as I never liked dolls - I ran barefoot, climbed trees,
> planted seeds for flowers all around the house and made roads fro my
> trucks in my father's gardens, and played games with the neighborhood
> kids, even was in "cat fights" at times with them. Reading was my solace
> as well. Every evening our mother read us stories before we went to bed -
> and I did that with my household of children later on in life, as well.
> Summertime included trips to the public library with my mother and new
> books to read on the front porch glider.
>
> This poem made me ask myself what it was that I held dearest as a child,
> and what I found my personal happiness - and I would say it was in
> nature. I was always off on little excursions by myself - swimming in the
> creek, ice skating on the creek in winter, looking for snakes and frogs,
> and riding my bicycle for miles and miles, and walking down railroad
> tracks for miles and putting coins on the tracks and waiting for the
> trains to come by and smash them. . In my home we ran free and it was my
> "normal" to be alone and out exploring wherever I wanted to be. I think I
> had a glorious childhood, knew I was loved, and felt very secure in my
> young life. The poet Nikki Giovanni wrote a fabulous poem about her
> childhood *The Kidnap Poem) and she speaks of her childhood and how when
> you become famous, they never talk about how happy you were.
> (Here is the link to this wonderful poem if you would like to read it:
> http://www.math.buffalo.edu/~sww/poetry/giovanni_nikki.html#kidnap .
> Lynda
>
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Barbara HAMMEL via stylist
> Sent: Monday, August 03, 2015 8:39 AM
> To: Writers' Division Mailing List
> Cc: Barbara HAMMEL
> Subject: Re: [stylist] Jackie's special things prompt
>
> I, too, was a HUGE fan of reading.
> Barbara
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Aug 2, 2015, at 23:19, Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter via stylist
>> <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Barbara,
>>
>> Thanks for sharing. I feel the loneliness in this poem, and that
>> resonates with me. I was not a huge doll girl, but I constantly
>> sought something to make me feel less alone. Reading is what took me
>> away from life and my loneliness as a child, but I think most can
>> understand what the doll represents here. Thanks.
>>
>> Bridgit
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>> Barbara HAMMEL via stylist
>> Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2015 10:08 PM
>> To: stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Barbara HAMMEL <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>> Subject: [stylist] Jackie's special things prompt
>>
>>
>>
>> It's an old poem but I thought it fit this prompt.
>>
>> MY DOLLS
>> by Barbara Hammel
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, I cling to them too tight.
>> My pretty dolls, my special dolls,
>> And I know it isn't right.
>>
>> But they did so much comfort me
>> And ease my child-heart.
>> Especially my baby-doll
>> From which I could not part.
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, My love is much too great.
>> The yearning to own more of them
>> I cannot seem to sate.
>>
>> But dolls they were such friends to me In bygone days of yore, And I
>> have _always loved them so And _always wanted more.
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, God does not wish to be Placed
>> behind my love for them, And that is hard for me.
>>
>> For way back in those childhood years A very special doll Was all
>> there was to cling to For a little girl, so small.
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, Too highly do I treasure, My
>> pretty dolls, my special dolls, To buy one gives me pleasure.
>>
>> But God is much displeased with this-- He knows their hold is
>> strong-- For I am storing earthly treasure Which Biblically is wrong.
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, I love them, this I know, But
>> I must put them in their place And not value them so.
>>
>> But they were once the world to me,
>> Yes, they were all I had,
>> For they were always there for me
>> When I was afraid or sad.
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, My pretty dolls, my special
>> dolls, My little girl dolls, my little boy dolls, And--especially
>> one--my baby dolls.
>>
>> I cling to them too tight, I know,
>> But I can't seem to let them go.
>> I do not _need them now, that's so,
>> But there they are, lined row on row.
>>
>> My dolls, my dolls, my precious dolls, O, God, they can't compare.
>> But You weren't tangible to the child And the dolls were always
>> there.
>>
>> Help me use them as reminders
>> Each time I touch a hand, a face,
>> That You are always here beside me,
>> All the time, in every place.
>>
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
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