[stylist] [Tanka] stretch

Mon Aug 10 17:38:08 UTC 2015

Shawn,
Thank you for your thoughts about this poem.
Originally, it was not a tanka, and I kind of forced a line or two to make
it so.
Incidentally, I did not critique Your Haibun, "The Cane of Calho." At the
time, I could not have done so without researching many terms. I still do
not know if I spelled Calhoe correctly.
I thought the Haibun form was very appropriate to the poem, and knowing it
to include haiku at the beginning and the end, I had no problem with the
line length.
>From many of the comments, I think it is a very worthy poem, and one that
should be published. 
My hope is that it would be equally understandable to the sighted as well as
those familiar with the white cane.
Bill's comments showed so much understanding. It helped me with deeper
meaning.

Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz	 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jacobson,
Shawn D via stylist
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2015 5:11 AM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List
Cc: Jacobson, Shawn D
Subject: Re: [stylist] [Tanka] stretch

Jackie

Thanks, I like that, very evocative.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jackie
Williams via stylist
Sent: Sunday, August 09, 2015 8:36 PM
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Cc: Jackie Williams
Subject: Re: [stylist] [Tanka] stretch

Lynda,
Hope I did not mess up this thread name.
I have made an effort at a Tanka. Please tell me if it is correct in terms
of your form guide.

A Tanka Sequence	

Hold Me Fast

You are my spillway
holding back the turbulence
of my fears and  tears ,
the dark essence of my flood.
Still, the spray will sparkle high.

You, alone, control
my stormy overflow-so
captured, just for you,	
the sun's so fleeting spectrum-
the arc of my rare rainbow.

Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz	 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lynda Lambert
via stylist
Sent: Sunday, August 09, 2015 2:21 PM
To: Writers' Division Mailing List
Cc: Lynda Lambert
Subject: Re: [stylist] sestina stretch

Jackie,
Well, Jackie, as always you have a way of nailing down all the comments so 
well.  Writing a sestina is my favorite kind of poem to write - but I am 
also in love with the "small" poems - and the Tanka is so exquisite as well 
as the haiku - - but  so darn hard to write! It is so far beyond the little 
syllable counting directions that we all know about - so much more than 
that, and so much unwritten aspects of the forms that I am just beginning to

grasp.  I am only in pre-school  at writing  these  Japanese forms. But, I 
want to learn so much more.  They are like trying to paint a very tiny, 
exquisite painting - so difficult to not get tangled  in details.
You would not consider me very good at anything today - I have just 
meandered around, walking dogs, doing a little bit of paperwork, and that is

about it for my day.  We all have such days, I imagine. Every day cannot be 
a "high voltage" day, but I do  thrive on high voltage days  the best. On 
the in-between days, I feel adrift and a bit unraveling. I need to write a 
poem about that - maybe.  Lynda

-----Original Message----- 
From: Jackie Williams via stylist
Sent: Sunday, August 09, 2015 3:51 PM
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Cc: Jackie Williams
Subject: Re: [stylist] sestina stretch

EvaMarie,
I have read to the end of this thread. To me, the sestina is one of the most
difficult form poems to write, and the fact that you got into it and doubled
the length is something of a miracle.
Of course, I consider Lynda the master of this form, so how can you go wrong
with her suggestions. Also, Barbara has an interesting strategy.
But the comment that I like the most is Lynda's when she just picks words
and puts them down with the faith that they will come to have their own
story and meaning when finished.
In my poetry group, whenever the teacher wants a new and creative response
from the group, she assigns a random word poem. Sometimes it has ten words,
sometimes, twenty. This has brought some remarkable poetry from me as well
as the others who take this challenge.
Like Barbara, you can write a sequence that is double in length, if this is
what turns out.
Good luck, and my admiration.

Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of EvaMarie
Sanchez via stylist
Sent: Saturday, August 08, 2015 9:46 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Cc: EvaMarie Sanchez
Subject: [stylist] sestina stretch

I was just working on a sestina when I noticed that I had been carried away
with the words. I came to a stop and went to the top to start counting
stanzas. Somehow I had completely lost count and had nearly doubled my
required length. Oops!
I felt the safest thing for me to do at that point was to close it out and
return to it later when it will be less a thing of passion. In this way, I
hope to be able to look at it critically and do what must be done. Perhaps
I will find two sestinas there. I did not even do a read through at that
point.
Has this ever happened to any of you?
Eve

President, National Federation of the Blind Northern Arizona
President, National Federation of the Blind Writers' Division
Committee Chair, Arizona Association of Guide Dog Users
Affiliate Member, National Fedecration of the Blind Legislative Committee
Affiliate Member, National Federation of the Blind Membership Committee
Member, Slate & Style Editing Team

"You do not need to have vision to see the stars."
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