[stylist] my attempt at a funny obituary

[Vejas Vasiliauskas]

Hi All,
Here is my attempt at a funny obituary.  This isn't really my 
style, and I find it hard to make a serious subject funny, so 
here is my attempt.
We bear the news-take it as you see fit-of the death of Francesca 
Abigail Kelly, 48, of Leeds, West Yorkshire, England, Uk.
Francesca was dubbed "the cashier lady from hell" at her local 
Easymart.
"When I first met her," one man said, "she complained bitterly to 
me about her father-in-law, to the point that I felt sorry for 
her.  But then the next time she complained about her aunt.  And 
then it was her brother-in-law.  I then started to feel sorry for 
the people involved."
"She would always make funny comments about the food we bought," 
another man is quoted to have said.  "If I got organic jumbo 
eggs, she would say, "You think you're so posh".  If I got 
American cheese, she would say, "What are you teaching your kids 
by feeding them this artificial crap?"
Francesca's cause of death is bizarre but not surprising 
considering her temperament.  After an argument with her brother, 
she stood up on a windowsill to throw something at him two 
stories below, but lost her balance and fell.
"I have to say that things are much quieter in the house," said 
her husband, Pete, 59.
"She wasn't the best daughter-in-law, but at least she made my 
son happy for a bit," said her father-in-law, Simon, 82.  "And at 
least I no longer have to be the subject of supermarket gossip."