[stylist] Obituaries gone wild

[EvaMarie Sanchez]

Thanks Jackie. That's me, Miss Ridiculous. haha
Eve

 President, National Federation of the Blind Northern Arizona
President, National Federation of the Blind Writers' Division
Member, Slate & Style Editing Team
Editor, Tapestry, a TAWN publication
"You do not need to have vision to see the stars."

On Wed, Aug 26, 2015 at 8:25 AM, Jackie Williams via stylist <
stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> EvaMarie,
> What a wild imagination you have. What wonderful fun to use children's
> fairy tales as a basis for obituaries.
> You have entered into the spirit of the ridiculous, and  , Yes, I can see
> them on a page of a newspaper as a frame for them.
>
> Jackie Lee
>
> Time is the school in which we learn.
> Time is the fire in which we burn.
> Delmore Schwartz
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of EvaMarie
> Sanchez via stylist
> Sent: Tuesday, August 25, 2015 5:17 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Cc: EvaMarie Sanchez
> Subject: [stylist] Obituaries gone wild
>
> Well, I said it would be a while, but I am not good at holding things in
> when they perculate. So, here is my try at obituaries... of a sort.
> Enjoy.
> Eve
>
>
> Obituaries
>
>
>
> S. Crow
>
>                 He always had great ambition to learn, but he was a
> brainless twit. His life could have taken any direction if he would have
> been able to make a choice. Instead, he was stuck in a career of
> agricultural security. He was a true and loyal friend though, and a
> fantastic traveling companion. His hobbies included singing and dancing. He
> lived life as best as he knew how to until the day that he was eviscerated
> by flying monkeys and left for fodder.
>
>                 The memorial service is canceled due to his remains being
> stolen by the first little pig.
>
>
>
> S. L. Pig
>
>                 Joined in death by his brother, F. L. Pig. Survived by his
> brother, T. L. Pig, and his mother.
>
>                 He spent his days playing, singing and dancing. He rarely
> took life seriously and was a stickler for living on the edge. He had just
> recently become a homeowner and that is where the tragedy starts. He, along
> with his brother, was killed when his new house blew down around them. The
> bodies were difficult to identify after Big Bad Wolf brutally ravaged them,
> presumably in his grief.  His fearless nature will be sorely missed, all
> the way to the hairs on our chinny chin chins.
>
>
>
> B.B. Wolf
>
>                 Alone, he died in the hospital where he was being treated
> for trichinosis, a parasitic infection caused by eating raw pork.  A quiet
> death for a violent life.
>
>
>
> Grandmother
>
>                 Loving mother and grandmother, she lived alone in the
> woods. Grandmother was often found baking cookies for her family’s visits.
> A gentle woman, she was the victim of a brutal killing by the Woodcutter.
> She was split open with his axe while talking with her granddaughter, Red.
>
>                 “It was horrible.” Red had told the police. “Grandmother
> had been suffering from what appeared to be an allergic reaction. Her eyes,
> ears and nose were swollen and she could not properly close her mouth,
> causing it to look as if her teeth were very large. We were talking about
> it when he just burst in and attacked her.”
>
>
>
> E. Green
>
>                 Cut down in her youth, Ever Green had barely laid down her
> roots. She loved birds and woodland creatures and enjoyed decorating for
> the holidays. She is survived by her boyfriend, Pinocchio, who is pining
> for her now, though his father says “All is not lost.”
>
>
>
> Crime Log
>
>                 APB: Be on the lookout for W. Cutter. He is suspected in
> two murders. Armed and dangerous. Believed to be suffering from a mental
> breakdown. Was last seen at Grandmother’s house in the woods and was heard
> saying it was a mistake. “I thought she was B. B. Wolf.” he had yelled as
> he ran from the scene.
>
>
>
>  President, National Federation of the Blind Northern Arizona
> President, National Federation of the Blind Writers' Division
> Member, Slate & Style Editing Team
> Editor, Tapestry, a TAWN publication
> "You do not need to have vision to see the stars."
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