[stylist] I would appreciate your help

Wed Feb 4 14:45:50 UTC 2015

Chris,

Is it blindness or old age? LOL

Seriously, I agree with you. The thought of going to a loud, crowded place
is less stimulating to me since I lost my sight because of the same reasons.
And not that I was a bar-hopping gal before, but even less now.

I admit that in my late teens and early twenties, I liked going to discos,
but not as a social setting, but because I was a dancer and loved to dance
whenever I had the opportunity. Whether performing, practicing or finding
social settings to dance, I loved it. I hated, hated, hated when guys hit on
me though, and hated the girls using it as a place to, shall we say, show
the goods; preening around like peahens in heat.

Now, when my only sense is hearing, I really try to avoid loud, crowded
areas. And yes, I can smell and touch, but I really don't want to smell and
touch in these kind of settings.

Plus, I have never had a good sense of smell, and I really hate touching
things, a bit of a germaphobe, so I'm the weird blind person who doesn't
going around touching and smelling everything, LOL!

I don't mind a new setting as long as it's not loud and super crowded,
though even when sighted, I was much more comfortable in familiar settings.

So yeah, on the same page as you, Chris, smile.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris Kuell
via stylist
Sent: Wednesday, February 04, 2015 8:00 AM
To: 'Julie J.'; 'Writers' Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] I would appreciate your help

This is an interesting topic, which is a good sign for Julie.

Now, I'll throw out that I believe a lot of blind and VI people take on the
role of introversion because, quite simply, it's scary and potentially
awkward to go out into the world of gatherings and parties, especially in
unfamiliar surroundings. For instance, those of you who have read a bit of
my writing know I often include bar scenes. In my younger days, I spent a
lot of time in bars. But, since I went blind, I find them too noisy and
confusing. It's hard to find the restroom, and hard to find my way back to
my friends. It can be very hard to follow a multi-person conversation,
especially if the music is loud.  So these days, I'm much more likely to ask
people over to my house, or go to theirs.

Similarly, I like parties, and have had some great times at many. In
December, my wife and I had a party here with over 25 people, and last
October I invited a bunch of my blind friends over for an Octoberfest bash.
Yesterday we got an invite from an old neighbor who moved about a half hour
away to come to a party  at her new house. My honest, gut reaction? I don't
know my way around her house. It will be loud, and full of people, and I'll
be uncomfortable. My initial reaction is not to go. And yet, I probably
will, and who knows? Maybe I'll make a new friend or two.   

As for being wholly yourself, I think that comes with age, and figuring out
who you are and who you want to be. Most old people don't give a crap what
other people think--they are just themselves. Young people are too
influenced by what others think of them, they want to fit in. Middle-agers
walk the line between these two, and where they land depends in large part
on how they feel about themselves, their awareness of their own self-worth
and their place in the universe. And these are very complicated
determinations, being affected by many different variables.

Anyway, that's my two cents.

Chris

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