[stylist] Poem - "Advice" - First Draft

[Jackie Williams]

Bill,
On your poem, Advice, a few remarks. It is very original in your use of
words, and perhaps original words. There  are some phrases that are really
good. " kiss the sun with syllables," "and park it in that chair you style
for tapping true your poet guile." Both "killables" and billables" are
clever words for this Ars Poetica poem. 
A few suggestions. I do not think you are using your spell check to correct
the words that do not have spaces between them, and therefore are
unintelligible. Sometimes spelling these out letter by letter helps me, but
I should not have to do that unless it is a made up word or phrase.
I think your first attempt at meter and rhyme indicate that you should stick
with it. It imposes a discipline of its own on the writer that I believe is
of benefit to the brain function of the visually impaired.


Jackie Lee

Time is the school in which we learn.
Time is the fire in which we burn.
Delmore Schwartz	 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William L
Houts via stylist
Sent: Thursday, January 08, 2015 9:29 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: [stylist] Poem - "Advice" - First Draft




HI Blinks,

Here's this morning's poem.  It's in more or less even quatrains, but 
the rhyme scheme is wild and woolly.  I'm currently really into fuffing 
around with rhyme schemes and meter, and on the meta level, that's what 
this one's really about, although the theme is almost embarrassinly 
classical.


--Bill



---



Advice

Pour your cup of brainlight brave,

stagger down the hall becalmed,

and park it in that chair you style

for tapping true your poet guile.

kisss the sun with syllables

asdolphin keen as wallace words

edit out the killables

and rate your work as billables.

Advice comes cheap, so toss this note

let slip the dogs of fire heart,

and take your royal waiting part

as poet of the seeker: gay

as stars, and twice as bright,

as Adam naming Eden beasts,

O captain of the phrasingfeasts,

you letter-light, you bard.










-- 


"Oh, Sophie!  Whyfore have you eated all de cheeldren?"

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