[stylist] Second Revision Attempt of Apple I am poem

Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter bkpollpeter at gmail.com
Fri Nov 13 19:58:59 UTC 2015


This works too, except towards the end, you mention tan abs, but throughout
the poem, we get the description of creamy hands and other body parts. So is
one tan and the other paler? Or is creamy not intended as a physical
description?

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
Applegate via stylist
Sent: Friday, November 13, 2015 9:10 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: Jennifer Applegate <jlastar at comcast.net>
Subject: [stylist] Second Revision Attempt of Apple I am poem

Hello all,

Below is my second revision attempt.

Apple I am

Dark eyed glance

Carved abs, flirty black curls, large creamy hands

Darting to mask my tan abs with green plants

 

Large curvy chest

Carved abs, flirty red curls, long creamy legs

Dark red lips kiss, yirning for his dreamy caress

Darting to mask my bare breasts

 

My Eve had eaten her treat, tasting sweeter than the rest

I stand bleak, waiting for mother hens to birth Summer eggs

My hands beaten, plowing dirt for earth's harvest, bursts of sweat

I scam weak, speaking, He cursed me to squirm in dirt, suffer death

 

Darting to mask my tan abs with green plants

Carved abs, flirty black curls, large creamy hands

Dark eyed glance

Apple I am

 

 

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