[stylist] Lucy and Lithe Chapter 9 What Really Works

[Miss Thea]

Chapter 9 

What Really Works



Lucy lay in her cabin, unable to sleep. Doc spent every waking minute keeping her on her toes. Her ninth birthday, whose end now approached, was just another day at the office. There’d been no cake, no day off, which she would have preferred to a cake. Every word that came out of her mouth, every expression on her face, was up for scrutiny. More often than not, it was, “Lucy, sit up straighter”, or “Lucy, that’s sloppy speech. Don’t mumble, and don’t forget. Round tones.”

Worst of all, Doc had gotten his girlfriend in on the act, and she was worse than a schoolmarm. Once, Lucy had broken down and cried. The red-furred Euphoria had tisked a bit, and said, “I know it’s difficult, darling. But here on Andorpha, this is how we talk. This is how we walk, how we carry ourselves.” She had demonstrated while Lucy watched the screen. Euphoria walked with her head straight, not leaning back, not forward. Her arms swung gently, her feet barely touching the floor. Lucy tried it, and caught all kinds of hell. Her head was at the wrong angle. Where was her smile? 

“Open your eyes, child,” Euphoria said. “We must see the love light in your eyes.”

“I’m not a frickin’ Andorphian. I don’t have any damn lovelight in my eyes!” Lucy cried, whirled, and fled.

They watched her eat oysters, something she did not like. “Which fork do you use?” Doc had asked.

She pointed to the wrong one. 

Then there was the role-playing from hell. Doc had introduced himself with all kinds of Andorphian names, each more rediculous than the last. Valentine Heart? Tender Lover? Puh-lease! Lucy had nearly fallen backwards laughing, and she’d caught all kinds of trouble for that, too.

“Lucy, how would you like it if people laughed at your name? It’s not funny!”

“Aw, come on, doc, nobody names their kids stuff like that.”

“The next time I introduce myself, I don’t want to see so much as a smile on your face.”

Lucy couldn’t help it. She tried hard. She really did. But she couldn’t help snorting with laughter. She finally got to the point where only a smile escaped her. That wasn’t good enough.

One day, he’d said, real mad, “Dammit, Lucy, you’re not even trying! We’ll be there in five weeks. What am I supposed to do with you?” He’d dropped his head into his hands with a big sigh.

Lucy boiled over. “I’m not a bloody movie star! I’m not a princess. And I’m sure as crap not an Andorphian!” 

The captain had given her hell for her language.  She’d fled then, too.

A knock sounded. 

“Go away,” Lucy said.

“Lucy, I need to talk to you.”

“No offense, Doc, but I hope you fry in Hell, and I certainly don’t want to talk to you.”

“Aw, that’s not very nice. Are you decent?”

“No, I’m naked as a jaybird.”

“Well, put something on and come out.”

“No thank you,” she said in her sweetest Andorphian voice. 

“Now, that sounded beautiful. Come on out. Lithe’s on the phone for you.”

Lithe! Lucy liked Lithe, what she knew of her. She hoped Lithe wasn’t a snob like the others. She got dressed quickly and came out.

“Surprise!” cried the crew. “Happy birthday.”

Lucy lit up like an Andorphian. She walked down the corridor, following Doc, Cooky, and the captain. They filed into the rec room, where a big cake graced a table. Presents ringed the delicious confection, which was decorated with a miniature of Lucy in white chocolate, “Happy Birthday” in dark chocolate, and looked like it was ten feet high.

“Holy shi—I mean, thank you very much. If I’d known, I’d have prepared a speech.” She held her head the way she’d seen ‘Phori doing, and moved nearer, trying to remember all she’d been taught. 

Arms swinging just so, walking heel toe, heel toe, big smile, wide open eyes.

Everyone applauded. 

For the first time in a long time, Lucy felt good. 

“Very nicely done,” said a voice from the ship’s comm system. Euphoria—she called her Auntie ‘Phori—clapped her hands. Lucy didn’t think fur could make sounds, but Euphoria’s hands did. Lucy’s face tingled. 

“David darling,” she said, “we’ve done it. And you, my dear,” she flashed Lucy an adoring look. “We’ve been hard on you, and I think you’ve only plotted our murder, what, ten times?”

“Fifteen,” Lucy said. They all chuckled.

“Well, fifteen. What of it?” She waved a fluffy hand. 

“I’d sure like to pet your fur, Auntie,” Lucy said. “I see you waving those hands around, and it makes my face tingle like crazy.”

“Three weeks, and you’ll get the petting of your life. I don’t know the Earl and Lady, but I know Andorphians. We’re a cuddly lot. We’ll hold you and squeeze you as long as you can stand it. Longer.”

Lithe called Lucy while they ate the cake, while the aroma of blown-out birthday candles still worked their magic. 

“Lucindelah, Lucindelah. I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to our sister, Kimmy, and Donna honey and Jim darling, my aunt and uncle. They sounded so lovely. I hurt with thee. Know I shall always be there for thee, and be thy sister always.”

Lucy forgot her elocution lesson as tears rolled down her face. “Thanks, Lithey. I love thee, too.”

“Me, too.” A little boy looked into the camera, or whatever the device was. Lucy saw him for the first time. Round, a little chubby, sweet-furred, white as a Persian cat, and adorable, as if adorability were part of his DNA. Maybe it was with Andorphians. His thin little ears quivered.

“Lucy sad?”

“Yeah, Woo, Lucy sad,” she said, feeling like reaching out for him, burying his confused, serious little face in her neck. 

“I know. You and me drink holy bond together,” Woo perked up.

“What’s that?”

Lithe reappeared, holding her little brother by the hand. “It’s a custom we have. But Woo is far too young, and doesn’t understand he can’t drink the holy bond with his sister. Hurry to us, darling sister.”

“You got yourself a nice family, Lucindelah,” Doc said, with the same almost th sound instead of the hard d sound. “What movie would you like to watch?”

Lucy looked at the list, and chose an ancient one. “Annie? Okay.”

"Neat movie," was Lucy's only comment. "Thanks for the popcorn."

“You’re welcome. You know, you’re a lot like her. Shall I download it into your iThought?”

Lucy smiled. “Sure. And anything else you think Lithe and Woo would like. Lady and Earl Dearheart. What would they like, do you think?”

“Just you leave that to me.”

Lucy handed over her iThought, already full of every happy love song ever recorded. 

“Can I keep this overnight? I’d like to add all the pretty, magical and romantic movies ever recorded, too.”

Lucy nodded. “Does this mean I get the day off tomorrow?”

Doc nodded. “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.”



Someone on the ship had changed into the shape of a bat. It hung upside down, and reached out into the universe, till two minds connected.

“My queen,” it thought worshipfully.

The queen honored him by appearing in her true batlike shape. “Report.”

“The humans are taking care of the little girl, but I am unhappy with things I have witnessed.”

“Such as?”

“Dr. Lock is the girl’s main teacher.” He felt a stab of sharp jealousy pierce him. It was his queen’s jealousy he was feeling. Pictures of her as a blind woman with a guide dog flashed through his mind, thoughts not his own.

“My queen,” he said to show empathy.

“Report. What did you see?”

“The humans are working the girl too hard in my opinion, Your Majesty. She is mourning the death of her family and chosen sister.”

A sharp shard of rage rocked him. He hung upside-down on the bar in the dark wardrobe where his uniforms hung. 

“The fool responsible paid a horrible price,” said the Tagh queen.

“One day two weeks ago, the little girl was trying to learn elocution. Her voice is not that of an Andorphian, and because she sounded nothing like the doctor’s Andorphian lover, and because the little girl had had enough, there was a quarrel between them. The girl used profanity, and the doctor picked her up, and slapped her hindquarters. She struggled and cried and used more profanity, and was … I believe the action is called spanking? She was spanked again.”

“Tell the doctor, the captain, and the crew, that the child is Not to be pushed very hard, that she is to be praised for everything done right, no matter how small, and that she is by no means to be physically harmed in any way, for any reason. Understand?”

“Yes, my queen. Your Majesty, may I ask, will the child’s home world be ready for colonization soon?”

“No, you may not. You will be notified in due time. I suggest you pay a visit to the captain, in your true form.”

“Yes, my queen.”



In his quarters, Captain William James read through everything the computer had on Andorphian law and customs. The file was small. Partially xenophobic? The captain doubted it. Yet, they were taking this Lucinda Sue Smith at the bequest of the Tagh queen, who had posed for her as a blind schoolteacher with a guide dog. All Lucy had done was treat the woman decently, and she was being treated by the Tagh as some kind of princess? He found it hard to believe that was all there was to it. Except he knew what the Tagh did to their collaborators, to people who sold their species for so small a thing as life and limb. Perhaps, the teacher had tried to co-opt the little girl, and she’d rejected the offer, and won the queen’s respect. 

Only that wouldn’t have worked either. There was no winning with the Tagh. If you cooperated, they labelled you a traitor and killed you. If you didn’t cooperate, they killed you. The captain sat straight up in his bed, sudden understanding like a physical blow.

The child, for all her profanity and tough talk, had taught Saghani something about love. She had treated the blind woman with courage and decency, and somehow got under the Tagh queen’s skin. Could that be it? 

He clicked the keys. The education of children on Andorpha. What would Lucy be expected to know at her age, had she been born on the planet? Could they get her anywhere near that level? He doubted it. 

A sharp bite sent him onto his back. He cursed and tried to see what had bitten him.

“That bite was not fatal,” said a strange steel voice. “The next one may be. It is entirely up to you.”

The bat delivered his queen’s message, and left the captain shaken. Who, he wondered, was posing on his ship as a human? Was it the doctor? No. It was the doctor’s discipline of the girl that had earned him, Captain James, the visit, and the bite. 

He wondered who it could be. One thing was sure. None of them were safe till the kid was on Andorpha. 

He called the engineering department. “Chief, how much faster can we travel without putting the ship under undue stress?”

“We could cut our time down by a couple of weeks, sir.”

“Do what you can to make that happen. I want to make landfall at Andorpha as soon as this vessel is capable of it.”

“Aye, sir.”

Next, he called sickbay and gave the doctor his orders concerning the girl.

“I only spanked her once, sir. She’s headstrong, and it happened a while ago, and hasn’t happened since.”

“See that it never happens again,” the captain snapped.



David Lock paced sickbay, examining his captain’s injury. “Venom,” he said. 

“Now you understand why I want to get her to Andorpha as soon as possible.”

“I do, captain. It looks as if our lives depend on it. Would you like something for the pain, sir?”

The captain shook his head. “No thank you, doctor. Our lives depend on something else, Dave. I’m afraid you’ll have to let up on Lucy. I was promised a fatal bite next time.”



Lucy wondered why everyone jumped to at her smallest request, as if she were the captain. The doc had stopped teaching her how to be an Andorphian. Still, she’d learned something from the lessons. She couldn’t purr or make her th’s sound like feathers, but she could refrain from slouching, mumbling and swearing. She could, and did, remember her manners. 

The night before they made planetfall, Lucy grinned at the doc, her friend. “I’m sure glad at least our stuff was saved. My princess bedspread, my books, all our winter clothes we bought. There’s all my furs, and Mom’s and Dad’s and Kimbo’s.”

Lucy was sobbing before she quite knew what hit her. The doc held her in his arms and murmured “there, there’s” At one time, she would have lashed out. But now? She’d been on the ship five months. She’d turned nine two months ago on the ship. She’d grown an inch, at least mentally. Tomorrow, she’d be with her new family, and she’d try her best to not be angry around them. She realized now just what a gift Mrs. T. had given her. She shuddered, unbidden images of Mrs. T. killing Kim’s father coming to mind.

She didn’t even wonder if Mrs. T. was a Tagh lady. If she was, she was. Did she have something to do with the war on Earth? Lucy shrugged inwardly. There was nothing she could do about it.

“What you thinkin’, Lincoln?” the doc asked.

“Lots of stuff,” Lucy said. 

Later that night when she woke from a bad dream, she prayed to Jesus instead of cursing and getting mad. She asked him if he would say hi to her folks and Kimmy for her, and thanked him for the new family. She said Amen, and 

booted up the computer in her room. She clicked on the clock, and pointed it at Andorpha.

Six hours and fifteen minutes, the screen read. They'd be landing there in six hours. 

Local Andorphian time? The computer came back with several time zones. . She put in the address. 4 AM.

She shut the computer down. No help there. She couldn’t talk to Lithe now. 

She booted up the computer again. Might as well play a game. Something niggled in the silent early morning, and she couldn't put a finger on it.

She felt eyes watching her. She shivered, and rubbed her arms. “Is anyone there?” she whispered.

The feeling dissipated. Then the comm crackled to life.

“Cook to Miss Smith. How about some flapjacks?”

Lucy chortled. “How’d you know I was awake, cooky?”

“I am. I’m having my first coffee, and I thought you’d enjoy an early breakfast. Make the time go faster. I know you can’t wait till we land. Come to the galley if you like.”

“Be right there,” Lucy said, dressed, and made her way to the galley.

The cook was very interested in Mrs. Talbott and the school where she’d gone. While she ate three big flapjacks, slowly, savoring the syrup and the thick pancakes, she answered his questions.  She asked one of her own.

“Cooky, is Mrs. T. a Tagh lady?”

Silence. 

“Is she?”

“Thought you didn’t care.”

Lucy stared. She’d never voiced that to anyone. 

“Well, I’m curious. Is she?”

“Have you ever read the Curious George books?”

“A couple, when I was, like, seven.”

“He sure got into a lot of trouble from being curious, didn’t he?”

“Sure did.”

She went on eating. The chef smiled on her. 

She finished a breakfast meant for a man and could hardly move to get back to her quarters. Cooky had said she would need to eat a lot of food in order to survive Andorpha’s cold. She would need the calories.

For now, those calories put her back to sleep, till Dr. Dave knocked on her door. “Get up, get on up,” he sang, doing some kind of funky dance.

“What’s that supposed to be, the funky chicken?”

“Let’s go, let’s go. We’re there.”

Lucy suited up. Not, thankfully in the thing she’d worn for the sirens, but in layers and layers of fur. She thanked God again that everything had been saved, even while she felt a sliver of guilt for thinking about the coats and not the others who should have worn them.

“What ya thinkin’, Lincoln?”

“Well, these are Mom’s and Dad’s and Kimmy’s stuff. I really shouldn’t be wearing them.”

The doc took her gloved hands in his. “Now, listen to yourself. Your mom, your dad, and your friend would want you to have as much protection as possible. The cold on Andorpha’s no joke. Try to think of all these clothes as a present from your family.”

Lucy clung to him, suddenly aware she was seeing a fellow human for the last time. She watched as the hands carried her luggage. She bit her lip and bit back tears as she looked around for the last time at the ship. They came to a flat panel that irissed open to let Lucy and the doctor out.

The cold hit her like a blast. She was as furry as the Andorphians she saw, and she was shivering madly.

“I have to go back on duty, Lucy, as soon as the Dearhearts—“

“Lucindelah!” Lithe was running toward her on the snow, her white fur covered with it. Lithe’s teeth chattered. She threw her arms around Lucy, who didn’t see the doctor kiss his hand to her and go back inside.

Lucy felt warmer all of a sudden, and turned to see herself surrounded by Andorphians. The Earl and Lady Dearheart, plus Woo, were there, shielding her face. The Earl picked her up, while his wife walked close beside him with her hands raised over Lucy like an umbrella. 

They ran to a car. Lucy blinked. They had cars on Andorpha? 

The doors opened automatically to let the freezing people in, and the driver took off. Lucy sat in the back seat, between Lithe and Woo. 

“Put the heat on, please,” the earl said, in the deepest, sweetest movie star man’s voice Lucy had ever heard.  “Our new daughter is Lanugite, remember.”

The heat blasted. Lithe’s teeth stopped chattering. Lucy began to sweat a little, but she wasn’t going to complain.

“Uh, sir?” she looked at the earl. “I’m from Earth.”

“Yes, of course, dear. You must tell us all about Earth over supper.”

“That is, if there’s anything lovely or pleasant,” Mrs. Dearheart said in her movie queen voice.

Lithe kissed her cheek. “Oh, I’m so excited you’ve finally come.”

“Me, too,” Woo said, kissing Lucy’s other cheek.

What was a Lanugite, Lucy wondered, and why had the earl mistaken her for one?



Thea Ramsay
Wellness Coach
Herbalife Distributor
www.GoHerbalife.com/thea-ramsay/en-CA
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