[stylist] {Spam?} Novel excerpt

[Alyssa Frierson]

Chris,
Thank you so much for your reply and for reading. I think I see what
you mean about tention. I'll have to see what I can do.
Thanks again.

Alyssa

On 7/26/16, Chris Kuell  via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hi Alyssa,
>
> It's great to see someone posting actual writing to this group.
>
> This first chapter reads well to me. Your pacing is good, your characters
> are just introduced, but are interesting so far. You do a good job of
> balancing detail with action and dialogue, and no grammar/punctuation errors
> jumped out at me. I really appreciate that you didn't do a
> background-info-dump in this chapter (a rookie mistake) so as I said, this
> reads well.
>
> If I put on my editors hat, my primary critique would be that there's no
> tension. There's no reason for a reader to go on to chapter two. It doesn't
> matter what genre book it is--you need tension to keep the reader reading.
> You need them to wonder what happens next. You are obviously a skilled
> writer, so I won't make suggestions here. But think about it, and try a
> little revising.
>
> Thanks for sharing.
>
> Chris
>
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Writers Division web site
> http://writers.nfb.org/
> stylist mailing list
> stylist at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> stylist:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/alyssafrierson%40gmail.com
>