[stylist] {Spam?} Re: {Spam?} Opinion-Editing desired for my Intro to Novel-Papa's Gold!

[Tessa]

Michael,
I like the voice you've chosen though wonder if it isn't going to be 
difficult to keep up.
My only issue is that he is very wordy which can be challenging to follow.
for example
by which I now recall those past
you might take the now out.
You obviously want him to be wordy and flowering in his style but I think 
too much will discourage readers because they have to pause to interpret 
what was just said.
Others of course may well disagree.
It looks interesting.
Tessa

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Michael via stylist" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Cc: <tickpub at juno.com>
Sent: Friday, October 07, 2016 8:12 PM
Subject: [stylist] {Spam?} Opinion-Editing desired for my Intro to 
Novel-Papa's Gold!


: Papa's Gold!
: By Michael M. Tickenoff
:
: This novel was composed some 6 years back. Its been waiting for the right
: time and so that time has begun. A historical adventure running about 500
: pages.
:
:
:
: Introduction: Herein I will begin to tell the story of hidden lives and
: forgotten times. I Lukian Evonovich, the third living son from my father
: Evon Evonivich by way of heart and through many circumstances of life
: have been left the task of putting pen to paper and bringing into
: remembrance the heritage of our family and its rich existence in a time
: that very few ever knew or remembered. I will narrate our story from
: memory, letters, diaries  and from my personal writings by which I now
: recall those past days high in the grand mountains of southern Russia,
: known to all as the Caucasus Mountains.
:
:            It was sometimes said that I was a child of misfortune, for
: frailty had been bestowed unto my life at birth with a debility of body.
: But with the goodness of common sense I was made fortunate by my
: grandfather Evon evonovich who patiently, in my youthful fragility,
: taught my hands to skillfully scroll ink across parchment, read and write
: in our native tongue of Russian, some in Turkish and a little of English
: and Armenian. In his silent patients I was taught to draft illustrations,
: design maps an figure numbers, keep records and write family letters and
: community petitions. My loving grandfather being of a most practical
: character, knew that frailty and weakness were no assets to a soul in a
: land where only the most rugged souls might survive, therefore proceeded
: to grant unto me the tools in which I might be given a chance to stand
: equal among those who would eventually survive all that a nation in
: turmoil could bring to bear upon its inhabitants. But I now know that my
: grandfather was a very wise man, possessing a pronounced gift of
: foresight regarding seasons of change and eras of calamity!
:
:            By all recorded and oral history, my brothers and sisters
: were the first generation to taste freedom out of the Russian caldron of
: upheaval and live long enough to know a changing world. By fate or by
: destiny our souls came to know life away from the oppression of evil
: rulers, false religions and higher authorities, while my parents and
: relatives were still haunted by their early lives, under a constant
: shadow of inherited suppression. This rugged and crude freedom rooted
: itself deep into each of us and birthed from us a different perspective
: than our fathers, who had grown up under the harsh hand of slavery,
: serfdom, the Orthodox church and the oppressive Russian pharaoh. In our
: youth my brothers and I were ignorant to some degree of their fears and
: pain until we also met their tyrannical enemy face to face, and on many
: occasions nearly having our own lives brought to an end. These tales and
: records will bare witness to our youthful joys, to our unexpected
: struggles with those haunting oppressors and to our adventures with
: strong powers and nations in upheaval.
:
:            Our youthful adventures of that early life will always remain
: the ark in which we escaped the tragedies of that time and our powerful
: heritage became the wall which protected us from forces we were blind to
: in our youth. The rugged life style of the mountains established each of
: us like winged birds who could swoop down from our heights and survive
: the harshest life if it ever came to that. These adventures which I will
: tell herein, brought our young lives unto the pentacle of enlightenment
: and placed into our hearts the seed of  lasting perceptions which have
: since blossomed into fruitful orchards of understanding about men,
: nations and human nature. Therefore, I will begin to remember and recall
: the events of our youth and the many lessons of a time of struggle,
: immeasurable bonds of family, all sketched across the vivid landscape of
: unexpected adventures. Our era of maturity sternly blended into and out
: of the times of historical change.
:
:
: TickPub Thanks You,
: All The Best And More,
: Regards And Respect From Michael!
: Visit www.storynetadventures.com Get Your Free Travel Humor Book!
: Just Click On The Blue Linked Book On The Shelf!
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