[Stylist] Poem: "Blindness"

[Barbara HAMMEL]

I would agree with Chris that those are the same lines that jumped out at me, too. Using a Braille display, I do see the line breaks. 
Barbara Hammel

> On Dec 5, 2018, at 13:04, Abraxas Ardent via Stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> HI Chris,
> 
> Thanks for commenting on the poem; I'm so glad that you enjoy it.  I do use a screen reader, and find that my writing has become more concise because I have to listen to every word.  I've read through "Blindness" many times now, and find that I don't share your sense of the poem's continuity or lack of it.  But it means something to me that you took the time to offer such an analysis.  It's quite gracious of you, and one of the reasons I return again and again to Stylist. Best holiday wishes to you and yours.
> 
> 
> --Brax
> 
> 
> 
>> On 12/5/2018 6:57 AM, Chris Kuell via Stylist wrote:
>> Hey Brax,
>> 
>> Welcome back to the group, and thanks for sharing your work.
>> 
>> I'm not a poet, although I enjoy reading poems and thinking about what I
>> like, or don't care for, about them.
>> 
>> I like this poem because it captures, in your unique way, some of the stages
>> we go through when losing our sight. You also have a great vocabulary, which
>> I appreciate. One line really sticks with me-- But after seven years, or ten
>> or twelve, the fires subside, burn out, and you find one day that you can
>> ride Bach fugues like a sublime toboggan, that familiar voices are hueful as
>> Renoir gardens, and the sheets on your bed are sweet as Rainier streams.
>> 
>> One suggestion I have is for you to consider inserting more line breaks. As
>> I listen, there are parts that come across as a perfect measure, and other
>> parts where it's like the poem is running out of air. Some line breaks might
>> improve the pacing. I don't know if you use a screen reader, but I find it
>> helpful to listen. You can hear the musicality, or lack of it, in a poem. It
>> helps with pacing, and will allow you to hear those occasional typos as well
>> as any screen reader--and perhaps better.
>> 
>> Chris
>> 
>> 
>> 
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> 
> -- 
> 
> 
> "A crack in the teacup opens a lane to the land of the dead." --Auden
> 
> 
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