[Stylist] Story About a Dolphin

[Miss Thea]

Hi, folks.

I watched a neat documentary about bottlenose dolphins a year ago. It inspired me to write the following, put it away for a few months, and bring it out again, to see if I still liked it.
I still think it’s a pretty neat story, kind of funny, and hope you enjoy it too.

It’s a notepad version, so no formatting.
(I still haven’t got my chops down when it comes to Styles and Formatting in Word.)
But anyway, have fun playing with my young dolphin and his friends.
Thea

POO IN THE FACE
A Murray B. Dolphin Adventure

By

Thea Ramsay

© 2018

1

Finally on his own, Murray, a teenage bottlenose dolphin rode the waves, played in the surf, and caught 
prey, though not as often as he would wish.
Still, being on his own, away from the natal pod, felt great. Batching it was the life. The only thing he 
missed was company. Mom and nature had told him it was time for him to grow up, but it was sure a 
lonely business. That’s when he heard it, a welcoming click behind him.
He turned to see another bottlenose following him. “Hi,” the stranger said. “Name’s Harry.”
“Hi. I’m Murray.”
“Just left the natal pod?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Left a month ago or so. You had anything to eat?”
“Uh, well, to tell the truth, it’s been a while since I caught anything. Not that I’m not a great hunter.”
“I’m sure you are, little buddy. Sea’s nice today, ain’t it?”
Murray nudged his new friend. “It’d be nicer if we could catch breakfast, Harry.”
“We will.” The bottlenose dolphin swam closer to his friend. “I hear there’s a load o’ shrimp coming 
through.”
“By themselves, or with backup?”
“Shrimp with backup. Now, there’s a concept. No, Murray, there coming in those mesh things humans 
catch them in.”
Murray’s stomach rumbled. “When and where? Meet ya there!”
“Hey, wait up.”
But Murray was already leaping through the ocean, causing a spray that caught the sun. Harry did 
likewise.
They were right on time. They waited underwater, holding their breath, and were ready for the dead and 
injured fish that fell through the net. 
“I haven’t eaten this much since I left the pod,” Murray said. 
“Yeah, leaving the mom sounds more fun than it is at first. I don’t believe it! The humans are throwing 
some fish out.”
“All the more for us, Harry.”
“Uh, not quite. Here comes the gang. Don’t worry. I’ll introduce you.”
    2

“This is Mike, Brian, and Wilson. Guys, this is Murray. He just left home.”
The other bottlenoses swam around, nudging and nosing. 
“I don’t know, Harry,” said Brian. 
“Yeah,” said Mike, “we don’t dig strangers.”
“Ah come on, you guys,” said Wilson. “You remember your first time out on the open sea, don’t you? No 
mom, no grandma … batching it. Besides, little homey here might have learned something we can use.”
“All right, smart guy,” Mike said to the newbie, “show us what you got.”
Murray dived to the seabed and came up with seaweed. “This weed’s for you,” he said.
Everyone laughed except Mike, who came near Murray and shoved him. “Not impressed.”
“Yeah?” retorted Murray, shoving back. “Can you bring down a barracuda?”
Not a click could be heard.
“Thought not,” Murray said. “I can.”
“I think it’s time we brought this meeting to order,” said Mike, “with our traditional motto.”
All of them chanted, “We da Boy Racers. We da girl-chasers, Wanna hang wid us, then ya gotta know 
your place sir.”
“I know my place,” Murray said, “on top or thereabouts.”
“All right, big man. Say you can bring down a barracuda?”
“I can,” Murray said. “Piece o’ coral. Brought down a giant snapper, too.” 
This wasn’t strictly true. He’d helped bring down a snapper, with the help of his natal pod. But Mike 
didn’t have to know that.
“Clicks and squeaks,” said the bigger bottlenose. “Let’s see you in action. For now, you’re a Boy Racer. 
Temporarily!”
Brian called out, “Hey, you guys, puffer fish to port!”
“Hey, Puffer Paul!” The gang surged forward. “Don’t go hiding on us now.”
“Puffer?” Murray asked. “As in, puffer fish?”
“You hard of hearing, little homey? That’s what we said.” 
“Easy, Mike. Murray’s never played catch before, have you, Murr?” Harry swam close to Murray. 

3

“You kids want to have some fun?” The puffer fish high-tailed it to an overhanging rock. The dolphins 
gave chase. 
“Who’s this Puffer Paul?” Murray asked, leaping through the water after the puffer, who was trying to 
hide. 
“You’ll find out,” Harry said. “Oh yeah. Welcome to the Boy Racers.”
“We can’t eat him. What are you guys doing?”
“Playing, Murray. Come on!”
“Hi, Paul,” said Mike. 
Paul’s tail wriggled in Mike’s mouth. “Hey. You’re biting too hard.”
“I’m not either.”
“It’s your funeral.” 
“Sorry.” The dolphin let up his grip without releasing the inflated puffer fish, who released a small dose 
of neurotoxin. 
Mike swam off, diving, then coming up for air and cavorting.
“Catch, small fry,” Mike said.
“What? We don’t eat puffer! They’re poisonous.”
“Shut your blowhole and catch before he knocks me out.”
Wilson, Brian and Harry gathered around, singing, “Lo di do di, we likes to party … Don’t bogart that 
puffer, Mike.”
Harry caught the puffer, swam off much as Mike had done, then passed him to Wilson, who passed him 
to Brian. 
“looks kinda like a ball, don’t he, small fry?” Mike swam beside Murray. “Brian! Pass Paul over to little 
buddy here.”
Brian chucked the puffer fish. Murray missed. “Oops. How often does that happen? Just a fluke. Get it? A 
fluke?”
The others laughed while Murray caught the puffer fish and held it in his mouth by the tail. He suddenly 
began to feel very good.
“What the ?” he said. “What are you doing, Paul? How come I feel like there’s not a care in the world?”
“’Cause there ain’t,” said Paul, jumping from his mouth. “at least for a little while. Have fun, guys.”
“Thanks, Paul,” the dolphins said.
Paul turned to swim away, then turned back, now deflated. “I oughta charge you guys for my services. I 
hear the humans do. When I think of what, I’ll come on back.” 
“You should smell your pheromones, small fry,” Mike said. “Not a care in the world.”
“mm. Isn’t the sun beautiful? Isn’t the sea gorgeous?”
Wilson laughed. “Oh yeah, he’s gone.”
The dolphins spent a lazy afternoon swimming close together, weaving gently around each other. Then 
Murray took a direct hit.
“Poo in the face!” yelled the gang. 
“Now you’re in, small fry. For keeps.”
“Thanks, guys. Now it’s my turn. Poo in the face!”
“Nice one, Murr,” Harry said. 

4

As the gang swam around chatting, Mike said, “Fellas, we got company.”
A gang of young males hove into view. 
“More poo in the face?” Murray asked.
“Not likely,” said Harry. “That’s Sid’s crew. According to them, this is their territory.”
“Is it?”
“Course not. This is ours. These jerks think they own the whole ocean.”
One of them came to the front of the group and shoved Mike.
“That’s Sid,” Harry whispered. “mean son of a fish.”
Sid and Mike squared off. “Hey, little lady,” Sid said. Wanna mate?”
They dived in a frenzy of fins, muscle, and curses.  
“I don’t mate with newborn females, missy. You best run on back to your mama,” Mike said as they came 
up for air. “Speaking of which, I was with your mama last night. She wasn’t so much.”
“Why you …!” Sid struck. Both gangs rushed into the melee. The water foamed white as the battle raged 
under it. 
Harry sidled over to Murray and said, “Let’s split.” 
“Nah, this looks like fun. Think I’ll join them.”
“No.” Harry swam in front of Murray. “This isn’t just another scuffle. This is for real. Let’s get outta 
here!”
The two friends swam away. 

5

Murray and Harry swam side by side for a while; then Murray stopped. “I think I hear females.”
“Females?”
“Yeah. Females. Honeys. Babes. Ladies. … Harry, you ever mated?”
“Nah. You?”
“Nope. Or should I say not yet.”
Harry leapt through the water. “Hydroplane! Get outta my way, fishies. Coming, Murr?” 
Not to be outdone, Murray jumped so high that only his tail dangled in the water. “Vertical takeoff!” he 
cried, before diving once more into the sea. “Last one there’s a shrimp!”
“Last one there’s a suckerfish!” 
“Hi, ladies,” Harry said as they approached the females.
“Murray,” he said.  
Harry swam to one, who drove him back. “You may call me Princess,” she said.
“Oh, don’t mind her,” another one said as she swam close to Harry. “She’s still nursing. I’m Pam.”
“Harry.”
The others crowded around Murray. “I’m Pinky,” said the cutest one. “I’m Penny,” said the other.
“I’m Angel,” said the littlest one.
“Don’t mind her,” said Pinky. “She’s still a calf.”
“I am not!” 
“Yes you are. Calf, calf, calf.”
“And you’re an ugly cow!” Angel cried. Pinky nosed the little dolphin back. “Princess, come and get your 
calf.” 
Murray swam to Pinky. “Hi, doll-fin, what’s up?”
“And where’ve you been all my life, Murray?” She swam against him, rubbing her body against his. 
“Nice,” he said. 
“Smooth as blubber, that’s me.”
“Quite inclined to agree, Miss Pinky.” He dived to the seabed, and came up with a green garland.
“Seaweed,” she whispered, awestruck. “For me?”
“Here. Catch.”
They laughed, swam and played with the garland till Murray let go of it. “Oops. That hardly ever 
happens. Just a fluke.” He paused. Before he could ask if she got it, she was on her back, laughing, 
splashing him, and turning pink. She slapped a fin on the water. 
He dived again, and brought up a longer garland. They played with that till she said, “Let’s explore the 
seabed, huh?”
“I’m all yours, Pinky-poo.” 
They dived. They played. When they came up for air, Murray said, “You’re better than Puffer Paul.”
She rubbed against him one more time. “You’re sweet, Murr-Murr.”

6

Murray floated on the ocean, feeling languid, happy, and playful. Beside him, his love played with 
another garland. “What do you think, Murr-Murr? This complement me?”
“I think it goes with your eyes, your ears, your skin tone. You name it, you look good in green, Pinky-
poo.” The sun began to lower. “Afternoons. Wish they’d last forever.”
Harry and his love swam up beside them. “Hey, Murray. Pam-Pam sighted a bunch o’ sardines. Let’s go 
get ‘em.”
They came upon them all bunched together. “Hey, guys,” Murray greeted them. “We’re looking for some 
healthy food.”
“Protein,” said Pam.
“Omega 3’s,” said Pinky.
“Fast food,” Harry said.
“We’re on a health kick, too,” said one of the sardines. “Aerobics. Go!” As they took off, the four 
dolphins swam through the center of the bunch, dividing them up. Though some got away, the four of 
them settled down to a good feast.
“We’d better be going back to the guys,” Harry said. 
When they were alone, Murray swam around Pinky, but she didn’t rub her body against his. “So long for 
now, Murr-Murr.”
“You too, babe. Take care.”
He barrel-rolled and leapt through the water till he’d caught up to an excited Harry. “Giant snapper alert! 
Sonar on!”
“We just ate.”
“And? You said you could take one on your own.”
“Nah, I said that about the barracuda.”
“No you didn’t. Go on, before he gets away! You said you could.”
There was nothing for it but to try. Murray could have kicked himself for saying such a stupid thing. But 
he’d be caught and cooked before he’d go back to the guys, especially Mike, without it.
“Geronimo!” he yelled, leaping, rolling and swimming till he picked up the snapper’s location. Very near.
Sleeping. Sleeping was good. But it was a big snapper. Full grown. “Son of a fish,” he murmured.
It awoke.

7

“Keep moving, junior, before I get violent,” said the sleepy giant snapper. 
This didn’t give Murray much time to think. What had they done in the natal pod? Oh, yeah, now he 
remembered. He slapped the water hard several times with his tail. 
“What are you trying to do, small fry? Splash me to death? For the last time, beat it before I give you a 
spanking.”
“All right, have it your way,” said the dolphin, and pounced on the giant snapper. They wrestled, two 
massive sea creatures grappling, each trying to kill the other. 
“Watch out, Murr! That thing’s armed to the teeth!”
“Come over here and help me, Harry.”
He wondered if slapping his tail hard might bring reinforcements. Of course, it would be all over the sea 
that he hadn’t done it by himself, but now that he was in the thick of it, he didn’t care.
“We can help,” said an unfamiliar female voice. Then Harry cried in distress. 
“Can’t we, girls?”
“Yes, ma’am,” they said. 
Murray looked up and saw a pod of Orcas, a matriarch, her daughters and granddaughters. They had 
surrounded his friend. 
“Get that snapper for the young man, will you, daughters?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“My family will help you, and then we’ll take your friend home for dinner.”
The matriarch picked Harry up in her mouth.  
“Put him down,” Murray said, letting go of the snapper, who was immediately stunned by the tail-
slapping of all the Orcas. “He’s all yours. Bon Appetit.”
“You can’t eat my friend. You’re dolphins. He’s a dolphin. Eat your own species? Really messed-up 
thing to do.”
The matriarch sliced at the snapper with her fin. “Better run on home before the birds get here.”
“Or the sharks,” said one of the daughters.
“Thanks. Now how about putting my friend back in the water.”
“No can do. You have your dinner. We have ours.”
“Yeah but … He’s poisoned himself!”
“What?”
“Puffer fish,” Murray said in a somber tone. 
“Dolphins don’t eat puffer.”
“Yeah, but Harry there’s … not too bright. And … his mama didn’t teach him anything. He didn’t know it 
was a puffer. You’re not looking so well yourself, ma’am. I mean, the poison seems to be taking effect.” 
He swam closer, snapper in tow. “Yeah, you look terrible.”
The Orca opened her mouth. Harry jumped out. The dolphins hydro-planed it as fast as they could. 
“The snapper!” Murray said.
“Forget it!”
They didn’t even stop to play in the sun’s fading colors. 
“What happened to you?” Mike said to Murray when they got back to the pod, breathless. “You look like 
you’ve been beaten by a snapper or something.”
“Well …”
“Actually,” Harry said, “when it comes to females, Murr ain’t too bright. He tried for one with a nursing 
calf, and you know how they can get. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. At first. But then she …”
“Come on, small fry. Even you can’t be that stupid.”
“What can I say? It’s like Harry said.”
“You didn’t meet up with something you couldn’t handle? Like, say,  a giant snapper or a barracuda?”
“Nope,” said Murray.
“Not a one,” said Harry. 
“Just a nasty female, eh?”
The two agreed. “What have you guys been doing all day?”
“We’ve got supper,” Mike said. “Okay, guys bring on the squid!”
Brian and Wilson bobbed up to the surface with dinner
After dinner, Murray let the sea rock him to sleep, glad he could close his eyes till another day dawned, 
and the adventure called life continued.