[Stylist] Apollo 11 Narrative, Updated Revision

Tue Apr 2 17:38:00 UTC 2019

Hi Tina,

Once again, I commend you for your commitment to this project. Those Bell
kids are very fortunate to have you in their corner.

I am going to read through this version and insert my comments like you did.

Chris

(Launch sounds with count down and music) (Ed) Fifty years ago, three brave
explorers left the earth and went all the way to the moon and back. How did
it happen? Why did we go to the Moon?

The United States is a proud country, and we always want to be the best. So
does Russia. Before any human beings had ever been to space, we were in a
race with Russia to see who could get there first. And Russia beat us.  

Then, back in 1961, President John F. Kennedy had an idea. Let's put a man
on the Moon and get him safely back to Earth. And let's do it before the end
of 1969.

(Kenedy) "I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the
goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning
him safely to the earth."

(James) That was only 8 years away. There wasn't much time. Going to the
moon was a huge challenge. The Moon is really far away. How could we send a
man to the Moon and get him back safely? (music break)

)James) We started by taking small steps to prepare. NASA is the space
program and they began making rockets to launch astronauts into space.

(Ed) They used a small rocket for a program called Mercury. With this
program, engineers learned how to build rockets that could take astronauts
into Earth (nit-picky, but it should be earth's orbit) orbit.

(James) Orbit means to circle one thing around another. For instance,
imagine circling a small ball around a bigger one.

CK - one thought I had here was to ask the kids if a fly or bee has ever
flown around their heads. In a sense, that's orbiting.

*Since we've expanded our time, I felt it was important to explain what an
orbit is to the students. This is one of those times where, if we were in a
visual environment, you could flash a definition up on the screen or show
slides of an orbiting spacecraft. But since we couldn't do that, we felt the
best way to explain it was to add it into the narrative. Since one of my
actors was a former special education teacher, I thought I'd play to that.
We'll dramatize the concept of orbit by having students circle a small ball
around a larger one.

(Ed) The astronauts got to see how it felt to fly in space. They ate space
foods that were in tubes, kind of like toothpaste tubes! Would you like to
eat food from a toothpaste tube? I know I wouldn't.

(James) Once we practiced sending one astronaut into orbit at a time, NASA
wanted to send two astronauts into space at a time.

(Ed) They called this new program Gemini. It used a larger rocket. With the
Gemini program, astronauts learned how to "walk in space" by floating
outside the spacecraft with a space suit tethered to the rocket by a strong
rope. They floated like you might float in a swimming pool.

They learned what it was like to live and work in space for up to two weeks.

They also learned how to get two spacecraft to find each other while in
orbit.

Finally, they learned how to connect (or dock) two spacecraft in orbit.

(James) During the Mercury and Gemini programs, astronauts got really good
at riding rockets and working in their spacecraft while orbiting the Earth.
And remember, they learned how to find and connect two different spacecraft
together in space. They needed to know how to do these things in order to
land on the moon.

CK - another nit-pick here. I don't care for the word 'riding' a rocket.
That makes me think of riding a horse, or riding a bike, which is not what
space travel is like. I'd change that to traveling in a rocket.

*Is that summary necessary? My gut feeling tells me it is, since if nothing,
it keeps the students focused. nIf they missed the initial narrative, they
should maybe get it in this summary. It also compensates for them not being
able to go back and read that material. Should we leave it in?

CK - I like the summary and would keep it.

(Ed) The next phase in the space program was going to be a big one.
Astronauts needed to leave Earth's orbit and actually travel a quarter of a
million miles to get to the Moon. That's almost 10 laps around the entire
planet Earth. It would take the astronauts three days to get to the moon
from the earth. The moon program was called Apollo. This time, three
astronauts would travel together in an even larger rocket. Up to this point,
astronauts had never left Earth's orbit before. Could we get astronauts
safely to the Moon?

Apollo 8 was the first mission where astronauts traveled all the way to the
Moon. They didn't land on the Moon, but they orbited the Moon and came home
safely back to Earth. This mission proved that we could get astronauts
safely to the Moon and back. It was a critical step before the Apollo 11
moon landing. (Music break)

(James) Remember that back in 1961, President Kennedy wanted the United
States to land a man on the moon and return him safely to Earth. Now, the
time had come. Three brave explorers were going to the Moon. Two of them
were going to land on the Moon.

Apollo 11 was an eight-day mission.  The astronauts on Apollo 11 were Neil
Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins. They launched from Earth on July
16, 1969. They called their command ship Columbia, and the Lunar landing
craft Eagle.

(Ed) On July 20, the two spacecraft separated while orbiting the moon.

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin traveled in Eagle so they could land on the
moon. Mike Collins stayed in Columbia and orbited around the Moon.

After months of practicing, Neil and Buzz headed toward the moon's surface.
This was very exciting! People all over the world were watching on TV!

CK - I might add a little explaination that the Eagle was a much smaller
ship, equipped with special feet-like structures so it could land safely on
the moon. I think if you had plastic models for them to feel and look at,
for low vision kids, it might make more sense to them.

*When I heard one of my actors narrating that part, it didn't sound right,
so I gave it to the other actor.

(James) Sometimes computers have unexpected problems. Has that ever happened
to you?

*Should we keep that paragraph or drop it?

CK - I'd drop it.

(Ed) Imagine you're in the spacecraft, headed to the Moon, when suddenly
your computer's alarm goes off. What would you do? That happened to Neil and
Buzz.

As Eagle came nearer to the moon, alarms were sounding in the cabin! (Alarm
sound) The astronauts asked Mission Control in Houston what to do.

(James) Computers were really huge back then! Some were even as big as this
room! In fact, the average smart phone today is more powerful than the
computers used during the Apollo 11 mission.

*I'm wondering about that paragraph, since we want to help build the
tension, but I fear it could distract. However, I feel we do need to say
something to show how limited their computers were in contrast to my laptop,
tablet or smart phone. Any suggestions?

CK - I think that reads fairly well. The actors should be able to read it
and keep the kids engaged. You might also throw in words like much slower
and clunky back then--something like that so a kid can relate.

(Ed) Mission control told Neil and Buzz that it was OK to keep going.

(Voice of Mission control) "We're go on that alarm"

(James) This is why alarms were going off. The computer on Eagle was trying
to do too many things at once.

*Is this a better place for that paragraph about the computer? Were stuck.

(Ed) But Neil and Buzz soon realized that their computer was taking them to
a dangerous rocky area. If they landed on rocks, their spacecraft might tip
over. If that happened, they'd be stuck on the Moon, not able to get home.
They needed to land in a smooth area so Neil took over flying Eagle by
himself, without the computer's help. It was good that he practiced doing
this too!

Just imagine how scary this must have been!

CK - another nit-pick. I'd say 'unable' rather than 'not able'. To me it
just sounds better.

Mission Control in Houston warned the astronauts that they were getting very
low on fuel. They started counting down the seconds before the fuel would
run out.

(Voice of Mission Control) 60 seconds

(Improv)

(James) There were no re-fueling stations in space. They had only one shot
to land. If they ran out of fuel, they'd never see their families again.
They had to land fast!

(Voice of Mission Control) "30 seconds"

(Improv)

(Ed) With only seconds of fuel left, Neil safely landed Eagle.

CK - I might use the word 'gas' one time instead of fuel, then switch to
fuel. I'm not certain a 5 year old will know what fuel is, but they will
definitely know what gas is. If the actor then switches to fuel, they will
make the connection.

(Voice of Mission Control) "We copy you down, Eagle."

(Voice of Neil Armstrong Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed."
(Applaus and music)

(Voice of Mission control): Roger, Tranquility, we copy you on the ground.
You've got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. We're breathing again. Thanks
a lot.

(James) But this was only the beginning! (Music break)

(Ed) Six hours later, the astronauts got ready to explore the moon's
surface. Neil Armstrong opened the hatch of the Eagle and looked down at the
ground.  He didn't know if the ground would be soft, hard or slippery. He
didn't know if he would sink, but he climbed down the stairs and bravely
stepped onto the surface of the Moon. He didn't sink. The ground was hard.
Then he said these famous words.

(Voice of Neil Armstrong) "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap
for mankind."

Ed) Twenty minutes later, Buzz came out of Eagle, climbed down the stairs
and also stepped foot on the Moon. Neil and Buzz set up a special camera so
everyone on Earth could see them walking on the Moon.  People all over the
world stopped what they were doing and watched the astronauts on TV. It was
an incredible moment.

(James) While both astronauts were on the Moon, they observed that the
ground was very dusty, like powder. Neil Armstrong said it this way.

(Voice of Neil Armstrong) The surface is fine and powdery . I can kick it up
loosely with my toe . It does adhere in fine layers . like powdered charcoal
to the . soul and sides of my boots.

(James) In other words, the powder stuck to his boots.

The astronauts discovered that there were small rocks on the ground. They
also found both large and small holes (called craters). They saw that the
sky was black, because the Moon has no air like there is on Earth. So there
was no blue sky. There also were no rainbows or clouds.

CK - To be honest, I don't really care for the rainbows part. I'd just say
that since the moon has no atmosphere, when the astronauts looked out what
they saw was the blackness of space, the stars, and the wonderous earth,
which was mostly blue because of the amount of oceans the earth has.   
I'd kill the next section about 'As blind people...' No need to point out
what they can't see, and they already know they can still appreciate the
world in their own unique way.

*How can we, if needed, revise that paragraph?

As blind people, you may not see rainbows, clouds, or blue sky. But you can
enjoy beauty in your own way, just like the astronauts did on the moon.
Here's what they had to say.

(Voice of Neil Armstrong) "It has a stark beauty all its own . it's like
much of the high desert of the United States . it's . different but it's
very pretty out here.

(Voice of Buzz Aldrin) Beautiful view.

(Voice of Neil Armstrong) Isn't that something? Magnificent site out here.

(Voice of Buzz Aldrin) Magnificent desolation.

*I wanted to get their words in the narrative somehow and not just rely on
our own. That passage was the best way we could think of to do that. Does it
need any revision? Does it fit?

Their surface exploration lasted for two and a half hours, but then it was
time to get back inside Eagle. They needed to rest before leaving the Moon.
(Music break)

(Ed) Remember how the Gemini astronauts practiced docking two spacecraft
together while orbiting Earth? Well, the next day, Neil and Buzz lifted off
the Moon in Eagle and docked with Columbia, where astronaut Michael Collins
was waiting for them. Remember, Michael Collins was orbiting the Moon all by
himself the entire time Neil and Buzz were on the surface of the moon.  Once
all three astronauts were back together, they started their trip back home.
Three days later, the three astronauts returned safely to Earth, and the
first Moon landing came to a successful end.

It was an amazing mission and we did land astronauts on the Moon before the
end of 1969, just as President Kennedy wanted.

There it is. As I've been telling my team, I want to get this right. Are we
on track? Do we need to make any other course corrections? Thanks.

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