[Stylist] "Missed Connections" Prompt Response

Thu Oct 3 21:51:14 UTC 2019

Vejas,

Good start.

First, you have a tendancy to begin your writing with dialogue. Can you
consider setting the scene first, or mood?  And it doesn't have to be
visually. Use strong verbs and nouns to place the reader in the coffee shop
or park or wherever we are. It doesn't have to be lengthy but something
descriptive that solidy places us in the location. Or at least use the
dialogue to give us location. Yes, this is a nonfiction prompt, but likely
something was said to indicate setting. And if not, create the atmosphere
through diction.

There's lots of internal dialogue here; not necessarily wrong, but I like
more scene, show us action. Even in nonfiction, you can create scene.

Also, this comes across very judgy. The narrator seems derisive and
condescending, which is fine, but can we get this voice and tone more from
action and dialogue? The imfamous show vs. tell.

Nonfiction can still rely on literary devices. A lot depends on style and
voice, but you can employ everything from descriptive language to scenic
development to imagery and everything in-between. I always encourage people
to play with form and structure and style with nonfiction and see where it
takes the narrative.

Good job with the prompt though.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: Stylist <stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Vejas Vasiliauskas
via Stylist
Sent: Thursday, October 3, 2019 2:46 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: Vejas Vasiliauskas <alpineimagination at gmail.com>
Subject: [Stylist] "Missed Connections" Prompt Response

Hi All,
Here is my response to the "missed connections" prompt, which I believe was
the second of the ones Ann provided. 
I know I've mentioned before that I like using prompts to get me writing
when I'm not in the mood. Sometimes I feel like following a prompt feels too
forced, so it goes both ways. But this is based on an actual interaction
that I saw, hence the nonfiction. 
Enjoy, and I look forward to reading others' prompts. Pasted below. 
Writer's Sketch of an Unknown Student: Missed Connections Prompt by Vejas
Vasiliauskas "Hello!" you said brightly, breaking the silence in the music
corridor.
Why "Hello?" So formal for someone of college age! Why not "Hi" or "Hey?"
That would take fewer syllables, save you one second of a catch-up before
you and your friend(s) had to go your separate ways.  At least it wasn't
"How the fuck are you?" another greeting I had heard several minutes before
from this same spot on the bench.  I would bet anything that the man who'd
offered this latter greeting, while excited to see his friends, was trying
to use this opportunity as time to use that word that makes young men think
they're so cool.
I bet you were smiling when you uttered your own greeting, but whether
genuine or forced, only you will ever know.
"Hello," I replied from my position on the bench, as I was scrolling through
my emails.  I guessed you were probably talking to me: many people recognize
me from seeing me around campus but are yet to connect my face with the
rather complicated-sounding name that comes with it.  After all, at this
particular time and place, nobody else was speaking, and I heard no
footsteps walking past.
"I ended up having an early shift," you continued, turning your head away
slightly so that I knew I was not the subject for whom this information
should be significant.  "At the coffee shop," you continued after a pause.
"I ended up sleeping through my first class."
And with that, you walked away, as I hastily wrote this down.
Why would you have written this down? you might have asked had you had more
time and sat down on the bench.
Well, I love to write, I replied.  Have you ever taken an English class with
Professor M? We did an activity on the first week where we were supposed to
write down overheard voices.  Then we can look back at these for
entertainment and use them later.
Whoever you were with didn't seem too interested in your story, but I would
have loved to hear more.  Presumably, if you worked a shift and fell asleep
during your first class, you're not one for regular morning hike adventures,
and I'll hazard a guess that you weren't in bed by 9 PM.
Or was it just one of these classes you'd slept through anyway? Was it my 8
AM authors class with Professor L, by any chance? If so, I feel sorry for
you: we were peer-editing essay drafts, and not participating will put you
at a huge disadvantage.
Regardless of who you are, I will probably never learn the rest of this
interesting story, especially if it wasn't an isolated incident.  Who knows?
Maybe I already know you well and you just didn't spot me, as tends to
happen when our minds are somewhere else entirely.

You are one of many with whom I have had a missed connection.  Students are
too busy (self-absorbed isn't quite the word for it, as many of their
activities will benefit in the long run) to sit on a bench and just chat.
Whoever you are, I wish you the best in this world of missed connections. 
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