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<DIV><FONT size=4 face="Times New Roman">Oh! I forgot the "* captivating
blue question mark eyes" though I don't think that
batting for the other team would preclude you from noticing that he had
blue eyes, as to whether the author would have found them * captivating, I am
not in a position to guess!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=4 face="Times New Roman"></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=4
face="Times New Roman">
Jewel</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=4 face="Times New Roman"></FONT><BR></DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt Tahoma">
<DIV style="BACKGROUND: #f5f5f5">
<DIV style="font-color: black"><B>From:</B> <A title=stylist@nfbnet.org
href="mailto:stylist@nfbnet.org">Vejas Vasiliauskas via Stylist</A> </DIV>
<DIV><B>Sent:</B> Saturday, October 05, 2019 8:12 AM</DIV>
<DIV><B>To:</B> <A title=stylist@nfbnet.org
href="mailto:stylist@nfbnet.org">Writers' Division Mailing List</A> </DIV>
<DIV><B>Cc:</B> <A title=alpineimagination@gmail.com
href="mailto:alpineimagination@gmail.com">Vejas Vasiliauskas</A> </DIV>
<DIV><B>Subject:</B> Re: [Stylist] miscommunication</DIV></DIV></DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>Hi Chris, </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>This is a great story. </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>I like how you were so exact with the number of steps, and that you
were very descriptive of just how cold it can get in Vermont. </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>I'm glad Ken/Bill didn't still insist that he didn't care if you
had a girlfriend and that you should still come home with him
anyway. </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>The interaction with him definitely doesn't include any indication
that you might have had an interest in him, although I did find it interesting
that you described Brad's eyes as "captivating." </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>Vejas </DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr><BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE type="cite">On 4 Oct 2019, at 10:43, Chris Kuell via Stylist
<stylist@nfbnet.org> wrote:<BR><BR></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE type="cite">
<DIV dir=ltr>
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<DIV class=WordSection1>
<P class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Here is my prompt response. All feedback is
welcomed.<O:P></O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Chris<O:P></O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: "Arial","sans-serif"'><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: "Arial","sans-serif"'>Miscommunication<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: "Arial","sans-serif"'><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>It was the late 80s and I was in grad school, synthesizing
novel antitumore drugs in hopes of making the world a better place and
obtaining my Ph.D. Typically, chemistry grad students work 12 hour days, but
since I was approaching the end of my fourth year, mine were closer to 14 hour
days, followed by a wind-down libation at my favorite pub, ‘The Other Place’,
which was a mere 58 steps away from our apartment building.<SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman","serif"'><O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal>On this particular night, I was mentally writing my thesis,
analyzing experiments, deciding what still needed to be done. I needed a
break, some down time or else I knew I’d lay in bed thinking, thinking,
thinking. I’d tried meditation without success, but <SPAN
style="COLOR: #1f497d">discovered fortuitously that </SPAN>a few cold ones
usually did the trick. I stepped out of the brisk Vermont night’s air into the
warmth of the pub, laughter and conversation washing over me like a warm
blanket fresh out of the dryer.<O:P></O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">I made my way around a few
tables and up to the bar. I ordered a beer from Noel the bartender and said
hey to Brad, a long-haired, long-bearded frequenter of this particular pub. He
had husky-blue eyes that were both captivating and a little creepy. I’d seen
him playing his beat-up acoustic guitar and singing on a street corner late on
a Friday night and thought if he wore a toga and sandals people might mistake
him for Jesus.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">I bobbed and weaved with my
pint and settled in at a small table to sit, sip, and eavesdrop. The
atmosphere was energetic and comradely, such a welcome change from the
solitude of working late by yourself in a research lab.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">A guy in his early 20’s,
carrying a pitcher of beer and an empty glass asked if I minded if he sat with
me. The pub was fairly crowded and I’m generally a fairly amiable guy so I
said sure. He filled is glass before he sat, then topped off my beer from his
pitcher.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">“Thanks,” I said, taking a sip
and assessing my new drinking buddy.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">His hair was bleached an
unnatural blonde, and consisted of maybe a hundred little tufts twisted
loosely into points, as if he’d made a hundred little pony tails, but got
tired so he did a half-assed job. He was Caucasian, had four or five little
hoops in one ear and a safety pin in the other. He wore a beat up leather
jacket and a white tee shirt decorated with lots of small knife slits. In
short, he made me think of a guy who was about 8 years late to the Ramone’s
concert. Caught somewhere between true punk and the alt goth of the late
80s.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">He said his name was Ken or
Bill or something, he was in his second year at UVM, a psychology major. He
came from New Jersey and his father had made a bundle of dough doing hair
transplants. We laughed about this and finished his pitcher. I went to the bar
to get another.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">We talked a bit about music,
naturally. I remember he was into the C bands of the time—The Cure, The Clash,
the Carnivores. I told him that a song or two of that head-banging music was
okay with me, but I certainly didn’t want a steady diet of it. We agreed that
U2, a relatively new rock band from Ireland, had a great sound and
probably would be around for many years to come.
<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">When we finished that pitcher,
Ken or Bill went up to the bar and got another.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">We talked about how cold
Northern Vermont winters were, and I regaled him with a story about the time
my brother came up and we went ice fishing on Lake Champlain. It was 27 below
zero, we weren’t catching anything, and I bet him if I spit it would freeze
before it hit the ground. I won and we left.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">He told me that he and some of
his dorm buddies had taken a pair of jeans last winter, soaked them in a
bathroom sink, wrung them out and brought them outside. Within 60 seconds they
were frozen solid enough to stand up on their own, as if a ghost or invisible
man was standing there in them.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">He bought us a couple of shots
of Jameson and I got us another pitcher. Our talk turned more philosophical as
it tends to do at this time of night with this kind of blood alcohol level.
<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">We talked about God, and he
said that he didn’t believe in the old man in a white beard pulling strings
like a puppet-master kind of God. God is energy, he said. There’s a positive
kind of energy, and a dark kind of energy, and humans are wired to tap into
either one or the other. You can change your frequency, but it’s not easy to
do, so most people don’t.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">I told him my happiness
theory, that happiness is a simple equation: Happiness equals reality minus
expectations (and here I mean personal expectations, not societal
expectations). If you don’t set your expectations too high, you’ll be happier
more of the time. He argued, correctly, that you shouldn’t set your
expectations low, that was jackassery. We agreed you needed to set them high
sometimes, and not so high other times, and disappointment was a necessary
state when living on the spectrum of human emotions.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">I finished my beer and
announced that it was time for me to go. Ken or Bill leaned over and quite
unexpectedly put a hand on my thigh.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">“Do you want to come home with
me tonight?”<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">I have to be honest—I did not
see that coming, and since I’ve never been too good at hiding my emotions
through intentional manipulation of facial expressions, I assume I telegraphed
my shock.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">“Nope.” I said. “It’s late and
my girlfriend is at home waiting for me. Thanks for the beers,
though.”<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">We probably said something
like catch you later, but I can’t remember that. I just wanted to get out of
there, breathe in some fresh air and sober up as best I could during my 58
step walk home.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">As I walked, I tried turning
things over in my mind. Had I done or said something to indicate that I might
be interested in Ken/Bill? I didn’t think so. I just talked to him like
anybody interesting I might chat with in a pub. Should I have picked up that
he was gay? Not sure what to say about that one. Some folks claim they have
some sort of gay-dar, but obviously I don’t. The truth is, I just don’t think
about which team people might play on or not. That’s their business, not mine,
so I don’t waste any time thinking about it. <O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d"><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="COLOR: #1f497d">As I fumbled to fit my
apartment key into the lock on the door, I just wrapped it up to a matter of
miscommunication. However well intentioned, it happens, and in this instance
no harm was done. Ken or Bill didn’t get lucky that night, and I’m sure he was
a little disappointed. Perhaps he should set his expectations
lower.<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
style='FONT-FAMILY: "Arial","sans-serif"'><O:P> </O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style='FONT-FAMILY: "Arial","sans-serif"'>
<O:P></O:P></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P>
<P
class=MsoNormal><O:P> </O:P></P></DIV><SPAN>_______________________________________________</SPAN><BR><SPAN>Writers
Division web
site</SPAN><BR><SPAN>http://writers.nfb.org/</SPAN><BR><SPAN>Stylist mailing
list</SPAN><BR><SPAN>Stylist@nfbnet.org</SPAN><BR><SPAN>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org</SPAN><BR><SPAN>To
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<P>
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