<div style="color:;font: 10pt Helvetica Neue;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anne</span>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First of all, let me thank you for looking at my story. I will take a deeper look at your comments, and incorporate them into the next revision.</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Second, thank you for sharing your story. I'm not sure how, even dogs and cats, can smell something through the vacuum of space, but it is a nice conceit. Also, you have "??" at one point in your story, you may want to go through and check.</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I have a criticism, it is that the story may be too short; it tends to be a bit choppy at times. What is the cargo that the "Nine Lives" was carrying/stealing from the dogs? Why was Captain Akita retireing. Some of this cried out for context.</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br>
</span></div>
<div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having said that, it was a good story and a fun read.<br>
</span><br>
<div style="clear:both">
<div style="font:10pt Helvetica Neue;">Shawn Jacobson<br>
sdj60259@aol.com<br>
</div>
</div>
<br>
<br>
<div style="font-family:arial,helvetica;font-size:10pt;color:black"><font size="2">-----Original Message-----<br>
From: Ann Chiappetta via Stylist <stylist@nfbnet.org><br>
To: 'Writers' Division Mailing List' <stylist@nfbnet.org><br>
Cc: anniecms64@gmail.com<br>
Sent: Mon, Sep 27, 2021 5:46 pm<br>
Subject: [Stylist] revised story under 1000 words<br>
<br>
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<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Hi all-</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The title is new, it’s been edited and now under 1000 words. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Reply to anniecms64@gmail.com</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Space Bones</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">By Ann Chiappetta</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The <i>Nine Lives</i> slipped past the <i>Hound</i>, engaging the warp drive and entering hyperspace. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Blood and bones,” snarled the <i>Hound</i>’s commander Akita, “Ensign, track that ship,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Arf, Captain,” she barked, toenails tapping.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Captain, the ship is headed for the Feline Space cluster,” </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The Captain licked his canines. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“All dogs on deck, “Captain Akita howled.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">He turned to his first officer, Commander Rottweiler, </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“this could be a trick, be ready for anything,” he growled, shaking out his annoyance.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> “Arf, Captain. red alert!” he snarled, a thick black toenail tapping the communication array.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;">***</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The stealthy pirate ship slowed as it entered the star cluster, the fur on the bridge relaxing after the harrowing chase. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Don’t congratulate yourselves yet, pretties, that ship has our scent. Tux, employ the scent cloaking device. Tabby, set course for the Hair Ball sector, full light speed,” growled Captain Blackie, hissing his orders through needle sharp teeth. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“aye, Captain,” Tux and Tabby replied.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;">***</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Report” snapped Captain Akita.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The ensign whined.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Ensign, do I need to trot over to your station and read the report for you?”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“N-no, Captain,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Well?”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“We’ve lost them in the cluster,” she stammered, delicate, Whippet tail tucked between her legs.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The bridge quieted, Akita scratched an ear. He stared out the bridge window. He didn’t have a choice, he had to chase the other ship, it was his assignment and if he did not succeed all would be lost. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;">***</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Captain Blackie tracked the ship’s progress, claws kneading the seat. He had to reach the check point, the pride depending upon their success. Just a few more clicks and this would all be over. His mouth watered in anticipation. He could practically taste the reward of a fine, roasted breast of fowl, feminine company and the adoration of his world for delivering the precious cargo. He scanned the bridge reports and hissed. The cloaking pheromone gas wouldn’t last much longer. He made the calculations in his head, it would be close, too close. He flicked his tail. The captain of the <i>Hound</i> was dogged but not flexible.; they would be able to slip by unnoticed and once in <i>Cat Nip</i>’s orbit all would be well. He was counting on it.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;">***</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Commander Rottweiler raised a paw.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Speak,” said Captain Akita. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Sir, consider this: Captain Blackie is most likely counting on us to break off the pursuit once we reach the Hair Ball sector,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Yes, I’d read all the reports. What’s your point??”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Well, Sir, it seems to me that we should think like a cat,” </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The Captain swiveled his ears forward and as if on cue, the pack tilted their heads at an odd angle.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Go on,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Commander Rottweiler explained the plan.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“It’s the best plan we’ve got, it’s either this or going back with our tails tucked,” said the Captain. The pack yipped in agreement and scrambled to their posts. If it worked, thought Akita, he’d be able to retire and not slink away in defeat.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Approaching the planet <i>Cat Nip</i> in one minute,” reported the ensign.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Sixty seconds later the star lines melted away and the <i>Hound</i> appeared above the planet.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Mr. Doxy, take us to the lee side of the planet with sub-light thrusters, power down, then remain there until we detect the other ship,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Agile paws piloted the ship and soon the deepness of space enveloped them.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Steady, Mr. Doxy. Ensign, begin countdown the moment that ship drops from hyperspace,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">He swept the bridge with his best alpha expression,</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“We’re on the prowl, Commander Rottweiler, is the tracking beam ready?”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Arfirmative,” </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Let the hunt begin,” </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;">***</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The <i>Nine Lives</i> shed the hyperspace star lines above the planet and Captain Blackie retracted his claws. He gave the command to the pilot to begin entering the atmosphere. Boris, a Russian blue hissed a warning,</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Captain, there is an anomaly orbiting the lee side of the planet,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Blackie flattened his ears.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“We’ll be within scanner distance in 30 seconds,” Boris said, then counted down.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The ship nosed into the planet’s shadow and found nothing.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Scan for the anomaly,” hissed Blackie, a bad feeling quivering his whiskers.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Then all hell broke loose. Every alarm went off, proximity alarms, tracking alarms, weapons arrays, and then the canine ion cannon blasted them into submission.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Too late, Captain Blackie realized the Hound was behind them, using the shadows to first drop below them, then attack from behind, just like Blackie had done a hundred times before. It was a pirating maneuver he didn’t believe a canine would or could employ. Being chased wasn’t usually so demeaning to Captain Blackie, he’d been chased before but this time it was infuriating—those space dogs used his own strategies against him. He vowed at once that if any of the Hound’s captain and pack ever trotted into his territory, he’s scratch out their eyes.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;">***</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Akita sat on the bridge, thinking. The rest of the pack had disembarked hours ago. He completed the reports but wasn’t ready to go, not yet. There was one last thing to do. Exiting the bridge, he trotted off to find the new captain of the ship. Commander Rottweiler stood at the observation deck, lost in the business of the spaceport. He turned when he smelled Akita’s scent.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Captain,” he said Akita nodded and sat beside him, taking in the activities below. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“You did well today, Commander, I am proud to have served with you,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Served, Sir?”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Akita met his eyes, then dropped his gaze and settled down, forepaws outstretched, chest touching the floor.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“I’m retiring. You now have command, Captain,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Rottweiler stood and shook, stretched and smiled, his tongue spilling out a gap between his teeth. </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“It was an honor, Captain,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Akita stood,</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">“Now that this is settled, let’s go eat until we puke,”</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">The two dogs turned, playfully walking beside one another from the ship.</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:12.0pt;"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Ann Chiappetta, Author</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">Anniecms64@gmail.com</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">` Making meaningful connections with others through writing `</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal">914.393.6605</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" href="http://www.annchiappetta.c/">www.annchiappetta.c</a>om Facebook Annie Chiappetta</div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;line-height:15.0pt;"><span lang="EN" style="font-size:15.0pt;font-family:"Verdana", sans-serif;color:#333333;">“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” </span><span lang="EN" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica", sans-serif;color:#333333;"></span></div>
<ul style="margin-top:0in;" type="disc"><li class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal" style="color:#333333;text-align:center;line-height:15.0pt;"><b><span lang="EN" style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica", sans-serif;"> Joseph Campbell</span></b></li></ul>
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<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
<div class="yiv4794612718MsoNormal"> </div>
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