[blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

Andy & Sally Thomas andysally at comcast.net
Tue Nov 18 21:44:03 UTC 2008


Thanks Carol.  I was just in the process of trying to express those very 
thoughts but you did it more eloquently than I could!

Sally Thomas
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Carol Castellano" <carol_castellano at verizon.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 1:57 PM
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....


> Hi Stephanie,
>
> A few thoughts.
>
> Sometimes kids ask questions about their blindness not because they
> are feeling sad about it, but because they're just looking for a
> factual answer.  For ex., if Kendra is now realizing that most of the
> people she deals with are sighted, maybe she's just trying to round
> out her picture of what's going on.  Did they all used to be blind,
> like her?  Did their moms "get them something" so that now they see
> with their eyes?  Well, the answer is nope, some kids are blind and
> they grow up to be big blind people and some kids are sighted and
> they grow up to be big sighted people.
>
> Sometimes it's helpful to ask questions or try to put their feelings
> into words for them so that their feelings can come out, but I would
> caution against asking "leading" questions, like "do you feel sad
> because you're blind?"  Maybe that isn't going on at all, but we can
> plant seeds!
>
> If she is indeed feeling sad or angry, I personally still would not
> press the "being different" aspect and I wouldn't dwell on the
> subject either.  Remember that Kendra doesn't bring to the situation
> all that you bring to it as an adult--her feelings are not what yours
> might be as a sighted parent.  I would also definitely remind her
> (and myself) that "it's okay to be blind."  It's just another regular
> way to be.
>
> Carol
>
>
>
> At 11:45 AM 11/18/2008, you wrote:
>>My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being
>>blind and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics.
>>The other night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I
>>can see with my eyes instead of with my hands?"  I felt like someone had
>>plunged a knife into my heart!  For you parents of older kids, was there
>>anything you ever said or did that helped when your child seemed to be
>>feeling sad or angry about being blind?  I tried reminding her of all
>>the other blind people we know who also don't see things with their eyes
>>but that didn't seem to help.  Any suggestions would be greatly
>>appreciated!
>>Stephanie
>>
>>
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>
>
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