[blindkid] Putting pressure on the school district

[holly miller]

Carrie,
there is lots of food for thought in this.
I do have a momma bear side but she's kind of shy.
I think of myself as a strong, intelegant person but yet there is still this
deep rooted Disney princess need to be "nice".  Ugh!!!
The district staff are all very nice, intelegent women.  Moms themselves.
I walk out of a meeting thinking "Ok, they really get it this time!!!"
And of course, they don't.  Or are deliberatly choosing not to do "it" even
though they get "it"
I need to stop waiting for them to be reasonable and make them do their job
whether they like it or not.

Holly

On Sat, Mar 14, 2009 at 6:51 PM, Carrie Gilmer <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com>wrote:

> Dear Holly,
>
> You brought up something that one of these days we will get an article on,
> but for now I zip it out there between laundry loads and preparing for
> company and confirming registrations...I am feeling like an octopus...wish
> I
> actually had eight arms. I am also low on patience for these people today,
> so be forewarned.
>
>
>
> "Can't we all get along???" I made what I feel are great mistakes early in
> the trying to get along, being flexible, being patient, giving the benefit
> of the doubt, naively trusting professionals, compromising too much,
> returning trust over and over after it was broken...
>
>
>
> There is a big difference between "getting along" and "going along". I
> realized that I had done nothing unreasonable or outside the law or even
> uncivil yet they always made me feel as if I was a nut and rude and in one
> ear and out the other. Finally I realized I was going along with
> inappropriateness at the cost of trying to get along. I realized it was
> getting worse instead of better. My getting along had done nothing real to
> improve my son's services in any substantial way. Yet my son's education
> was
> for years not free and not appropriate. While I was trying to "get along"
> he
> "went along" being harmed. That cost is too high!
>
>
>
> You can't "get along" with injustice. Look, if these people had wanted to
> comply with the law they would have done so. If they cared about Braille
> literacy and his need for it this would have been done. If they believed
> you
> were a full partner on the team...done, history. If they believed he needed
> it you would have no argument, they would have done just very simply what
> is
> their job and followed protocol and the law. You wouldn't "go along" with
> injustice either. It is time to quit believing they will "do the right
> thing" on their own, if they were it would be done. I know I said I hope
> this is the last letter (I know I was hoping for miracles-but hey, I never
> give up hoping), and maybe they will get it right, but if they were going
> to
> do it on their own, that letter, making them aware, should have brought an
> apology and an immediate meeting to get it right--if their intent was
> clearly to make it right (meaning they acknowledge too what has gone
> wrong).
>
>
>
> It doesn't mean they won't do it, I think from all you have described
> though, they will not do it without extreme pressure. And then you will
> likely have serious things to think of and monitor if the teacher herself
> does not believe. A teacher cannot teach something well that they do not
> believe in, IT is impossible. Your challenge is to not only get them to do
> it, but to believe in doing it. You will have to create tension or they
> will
> not budge. There is nothing wrong with tension. Tension can be civil.
> Nothing moves without tension. They DO NOT CARE like YOU DO. YOU are HANK's
> real advocate, they will never care like you, of course not, Hank is not
> their child.
>
>
>
> You are contesting now the fact that no proper IEP exists and you have
> realized he should have had Braille. You are contesting or rather
> protesting: It was THEIR legal obligation to eval for Braille if they were
> not going to do it or provide for giving it to him the day he stepped on
> their property with a visual disability qualification for service NOT the
> day you told them about it! They are in non-compliance with the law on
> several points and they must come into immediate compliance or you continue
> to make the complaint to higher authority.
>
>
>
> They don't HAVE to provide a draft before the meeting, it is recommended,
> they CAN, SO CAN YOU, but they CAN NOT write the final or make decisions
> BEFORE the meeting. This is different because they are having to back
> track.
> They were out of compliance with the law when they made the last IEP, on
> that point alone on Braille they need to come into compliance immediately
> and a meeting needs to be called to consider placement and the how to and
> where s and whens of providing Braille adequately whether or not this was
> his annual time. They also could very well owe you compensatory hours back
> to the day when he stepped on their property and they began service without
> considering Braille.
>
>
>
> Federal law states that the LEA must comply with parent request for any
> educational records that are collected maintained or used by the LEA
>
>  WITHOUT UNNECESSARY delay and BEFORE ANY IEP MEETING REGARDING AN IEP. AND
> IN NO CASE MORE THAN 45 DAYS after the request has been made.
>
>
>
> I've been reading a great book on the effective leadership style of Dr.
> Martin Luther King Jr. by Donald Phillips. I enter these steps from one
> chapter, I wish I had had this when my son was in first grade. It is a
> great
> book and I highly recommend it. If I could afford it and they would not
> think me a dictator I would buy every one of my leaders the book and
> require
> the reading of it (smile). I will put in one of his quotes in quotation
> marks after a step, otherwise,
>
>  Any (comments) are my own.
>
>
>
> 1.    Seek dialogue to discuss conscerns. (This you have done, but
> unfortunetly in tryin gto "get along" we keep seeking dialouge to discuss
> concerns.sometimes of months an dyears. Meanwhile our child is growing up
> and the windows for the learning opportunities get smaller.
>
> 2.    Create a crisis. (these things don't happen, they don't FEEL it
> unless
> we make a crisis for them-this is not us being bad!) "We set out to
> precipitate a crisis situation that must open the door to negotiation. I am
> not afraid of the words 'crisis' and 'tension'. Innante in all of life, and
> all growth is tension. Only in death is there an absence of tension. To
> cure
> injustices, YOU MUST EXPOSE THEM BEFORE THE LIGHT OF HUMAN CONSCIENCE AND
> THE BAR OF PUBLIC OPINION." MLK, Jr. (you seek to raise the moral
> conscience
> of those on the team-you may not succeed with all, maybe not even the TVI,
> but seek to do it with those who have the most power.)
>
> 3.    Set out demands and conditions.
>
> 4.    Stay firm and keep up the pressure.
>
> 5.    Meet and regroup with your team. (This means you actually GOT a team,
> get a team so you are not alone)
>
> 6.    Be prepared to intensify pressure if demands are not met.
>
> 7.    Insist on a plan of implementation and create a committee to assure
> follow-through (the IEP should have a clear list of implementation plan and
> who is responsible and what is the chain of command for complaints if
> further non compliance)
>
> 8.    Show good faith, use discretion, and allow the opposition a graceful
> way out (this is key-you may have to work with some of them for man years
> yet-give them help them save face as best as you can as you raise their
> moral conscience and awareness of Braille)
>
> 9.    Praise the other side (when ever you can for what ever is RIGHT and
> when it is done, praise them for their efforts)
>
> 10.Stick to the agreement (make sure they do and make sure you do your part
> as a parent: learn Braille yourself and get them readgin g at home-meaning
> once you get it don't leave it all up to the school)
>
>
>
> Okay the dryer has buzzed four times.....
>
>  BTW very good plan not to go with the hot pink swirly binder for the
> meetings, nice restraint (smile)I think you are going to do well for  Hank
> Holly, he is lucky to have you for a mom, and you are well on your way.
>
>
>
> Carrie Gilmer, President
>
> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>
> NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
>
> Home Phone: 763-784-8590
>