[blindkid] talking to a child about blindness

[Barbara Cheadle]

Historical perspective, and my experience:

What a joy it is for me to hear this question being asked!

As the founding editor of Future Reflections and a founding officer of the National Organization of Parents of Blind Children, one of my early goals was to help parents implement the National Federation of the Blind's philosophy about blindness in a natural, normal and positive way.  That most especially included building a warm, accepting and positive atmophere so that children could a) know that it's ok to talk about blindness  b) have the vocabulary to discuss it  c) have confidence that you (their sighted parents) have something valuable to tell them about it and d) have connections with independent, blind adults.

That was 1981 and my blind son was age 3.  My blind friends--many of whom I saw daily and certainly weekly--told me stories about what their parents did right and wrong, but even they were not always sure how to change the "wrong" part.  It's easier to identify problems than to fix them.  So my husband and I experiemented, with lots of encouragement and love from our blind Federation friends.

Discussing blindness, we discovered, was the area that most parents of those generations did "wrong"  even when they did other things "right"  (encouraging Braille, insisting on doing chores, etc.)  They had no role models, no vocabulary, but most of all--I think--neither they nor their children had positive, active, independent blind adult role models with whom they interacted regularly.

For us, that was the key.  As soon as our son could verbalize questions about blindness, he could identify with the people in our lives that I explained were blind "like him."  Friends who baby-sat him and his siblings; friends who rough-housed and played with him; friends who hosted us in their homes, and made dinner for us.  It takes a long time for kids to grow into an awareness about blindness and it's practical implications for them.  There were moments that my husband and I handled it l with grace and insight, and moments we were awkward or heavy-handed.  If I could, I would have done some things differently, but mostly our son turned out great

Here are some links to some of the articles I and my husband wrote for Fututure Reflections about our personal experiences, and pivitol moments, in discussing blindness with our son (who was partially sighted--another can of worms in itself).

Mom, Am I Blind?
http://www.nfb.org/images/nfb/Publications/fr/fr1/Issue4/f010401.html<http://www.nfb.org/images/nfb/Publications/fr/fr1/Issue4/f010401.html>

On Driving Nails and Hitting the Mark with "Attitudes"
http://www.nfb.org/images/nfb/Publications/fr/fr02/Issue2/f020203.html<http://www.nfb.org/images/nfb/Publications/fr/fr02/Issue2/f020203.html>

ADvice to Parents of Partially Sighted Children
http://nfb.org/legacy/fr/fr14/fr04se11.htm<http://nfb.org/legacy/fr/fr14/fr04se11.htm>




Peace.

Barbara Cheadle
Catonsville, MD 21228
(410) 747-3472
cell: (410) 300-5232
bacheadle at msn.com<mailto:bacheadle at msn.com>
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: julietnan<mailto:julietnan at aol.com> 
  To: blindkid at nfbnet.org<mailto:blindkid at nfbnet.org> 
  Sent: Friday, March 12, 2010 5:58 AM
  Subject: [blindkid] talking to a child about blindness


  Hi, I wondered if any of you could share with me the different ways you have talked to your children about being blind. The ways to explain it, or how to answer questions they might have. My daughter is 2.5 and I want to talk with her about it in a normal sort of way. I don't want to make her feel like there is something "wrong" with her, don't want to use the "your eyes are broken", as from my mind, that would be negative. I want to just be able to talk about it in a gentle normal sort of way, any help would be appreciated. I just don't want to say the wrong thing.
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