[blindkid] Independence Check Lists

Tue Jul 26 03:34:51 UTC 2011

Debbie, 
you sound like a wonderful Mom!
I like your name, too
Deb

-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Debby B
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 8:07 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Independence Check Lists

Eric, as always, you bring out some great points. Having the kids make their own 
wish list of goals gives them that ownership and desire to achieve. It works 
well with ALL kids, not just our blind/visually impaired kids.  I've always been 
a "mean mom" and taught my kids early how to run the washer/dryer/dishwasher, 
etc. They are all totally independent in those areas. Mine are also responsible 
for dusting and vacuuming living areas, and keeping their bathroom clean. We're 
still working on sweeping/vacuuming, trying to be sure we get all the debris 
from the floor. Winona and Daniel both seem to struggle with that one. Being 
techie challenged myself, Winona has been motivated to get with her friends and 
figure things out for herself. Yay! 

Winona learned so much from Buddy Camp, and wanted to do Youth Slam, but we had 
a wedding so that wasn't possible this year. Neither was convention 
unfortunately. She wants to do one of the Life 101 type programs, but don't 
think they'll be within our range anytime soon. 

My oldest, Luke is now Jessica's problem (heehee). My youngest two are entering 
10th grade. Time to start fine tuning independence skills and start looking into 
colleges.  We love having the kids around, so we really dread them leaving for 
college, but know that it's an important step for them. You are so right. Time 
flies!
 Debby
bwbddl at yahoo.com

~"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read."~Mark 
Twain

________________________________
From: DrV <icdx at earthlink.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Mon, July 25, 2011 10:39:30 AM
Subject: [blindkid] Independence Check Lists

Hi All,
I'm sure most, if not all, of the parents on this listserv can relate to the
sentiment of "there is just not enough time to teach my son or daughter
everything". While I don't have "the answer", I wanted to share an approach
that seems to be working out well for us.
As my older son is about to start his freshman year at high school, I keep
asking myself "Where has all the time gone? How could it possibly have
slipped by so quickly?" In 4 short years collage tuition will be due.
It is also becoming increasingly clear that there is still a lot to cover on
the non-academic side in order for him (& us) to feel comfortable with him
living & getting around on his own, potentially in a new city. There is
shopping, laundry, & a host of other stuff he will need to be able to do on
his own.
My older son really wants be ready on a social level for high school. Those
that know him are quite aware he is very talkative & social, but it is all
the other skills that need work (independent mobility, organization, more
advanced technology awareness, more appropriate table manners & independence
so he can confidently, comfortably go out to eat & party with friends,
maintain a neat room & bathroom for when friends come over, etc). There is a
lot that still needs to be covered - these are things that for many blind
kids end up not really getting covered to a truly adequate degree at school.
I'm sure some of you have heard of the "Expanded Core Curriculum for Blind
and VI Children and Youths"  it¹s supposed to be part of every IEPŠ As
someone who is slowly becoming a more seasoned veteran (as a parent), I hope
no one is holding his or her breath for the educational system to address
everything.
For years we have been approaching this is in "baby steps" you might say; we
sit down several times a year & list out a finite number of things that we
want to specifically address with our boys for the next few months (the
number varies with what is on the list). If we don't go through that
process, then the time just seems to slip by without really actively
addressing all but the most pressing issues. In recent years we have had the
boys contribute their wishes to that process  figuring everyone has
different priorities & because they will likely put more effort into what
they perceive to be most important. We try to when possible make it fun 
walking to the local minimart to buy a Sunday newspaper involves O&M as well
as manipulation of money (& it is amazing what comes up on conversation
during those walks where we are not focused on other things). Some things
turn in to expected chores  the list gradually expands over time. It is
never too early to start. Some things like learning to zip a vest or
organize a backpack or tie shoes just have to be barreled through. & yes, we
too can relate to toothpaste challenges.
This summer my younger son is out of town with my wife due to his recent eye
surgery; the older one is too old for the Buddy Program & not old enough for
the next level up. Since he is motivated & this is an important transition
year before high school, we decide to make the most of this summer & our
focus is to tackle a longer list of things to address.
At the beginning of the summer I asked my older son to generate a list of
things he wanted to & he felt he needed work on. I asked him to think big &
to be ambitious. That he did!
We were pleasantly surprised to get his list  much of what was on there
were things that my wife & I too felt needed to be addressed, but
importantly, it is his list. We sat down & categorized the items on the list
& are working through those. He is now downloading books on his own, working
on his laptop skills (getting a handle on iTunes & Bookshare are both
motivating & empowering). He has been making his own breakfast everyday,
working on other meals, & even cleaning off the table. (He did share with me
that he is now consciously trying to eat neater, so that there is less to
wipe off the table - & it has been totally clean even before he wiped it off
a number of times now). ³Kitchen O&M² is a great experience & he now is
beginning to realize how much effort is takes to prepare for meals (with my
wife out of town, he & I have to go buy everything as well). He has really
taken ownership for his list & is enthusiastically pursuing things that my
otherwise have been taxing.
An unanticipated "side-effect" of being apart for a few weeks is that when
the boys talk to each other on the phone, they each are somewhat envious of
what the other is doing or learning & now are asking to try things on the
other is working on!  :-)
We still have about a month to go before the start of the upcoming school
year. Both boys will have accomplished & learned a lot of skills by that
time. We are making nice progress through the list, taking on items on as
seems most natural throughout the course of this summer. They will have
mastered some, but not all. We will however at least address each item more
than just superficially - to a level that will be their solid foundation for
this next year when they can follow through & practice until they reach
proficiency.
Honestly, the sense of pride & confidence that emanates from each of them
the first time they do the task totally on their own is precious. It is very
gratifying to see how with time & further practice they refine each new
skill until it becomes commonplace. What once provoked anxiety or unease has
been transformed into their routine. They actually seem to enjoy coming up
with goals to work on.
It¹s never too early to start working on things in a more focused fashion.
Time flies by oh so fastŠ
Eric V

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