[blindkid] Signs for Susan

[Richard Holloway]

Rene,

I wonder what the risk may be if an unfamiliar driver treats every child in a small area as if he or she may be blind... 

However, if you've followed recent posts, you've already seen emails from at least three of us (myself included) with direct experience of people telling list members they either weren't aware of what a white cane indicated, or else they have asked us why our children are carrying canes. I think that even many of the people who DO know what a cane is supposed to indicate just don't realize there are blind children too, or if they do, they don't know that many of those kids carry canes.

I have no doubt that YOU would know what a white cane in a child's hand indicated. I have no doubt that every member of this list is very aware of the meaning. In the advertising business, they would explain that we are not the "target demographic" of these proposed signs. (Not even close....)

I personally have had literally scores of people over the years ask why Kendra has "that stick" in her hand, or words to that effect. I would wager a vast sum regarding nearly every adult  who has asked about my daughter's cane-- (I say adults, because some of our curious "stick askers" have been children.) If each of these people had just read a sign about blind children moments before they encountered my child, nearly all would have put 2 and 2 together.

Think of this situation:  A driver sees a "Blind Child Zone" sign (etc.), then sees a kid with a "stick". In a cartoon of this situation, the next frame would show a lightbulb over the driver's head. 

Honestly, I think the best sign would have a stick person (like many general signs do) only holding a cane and say something about blind children. That plus a kid with a cane in (or near) the street would be a giant clue for drivers. I know some here want to pretend blind kids aren't at greater risk in these situations, but my personal belief is that many are. We can only focus on so much at a time. My daughter spends her days at school and then several hours a night, many nights, on school work. Then there are activities too. O&M focus is primarily around her school, learning indoor routes and techniques. Outside for now, she's trying to learn to cross driveways when on a sidewalk and not to veer off onto the driveway itself. This is hard for her. Mastering street crossings comes later.

As to my daughter going around without her cane? I absolutely expect my daughter to have her white cane in her hand when she goes anywhere outside of a familiar building, like our home, or a classroom. She uses her cane in school halls, the cafeteria, etc., and in unfamiliar buildings. She can use it wherever she wants-- we never prevent her. Once she knows a room though, she generally wants both hands free. 

99+ times out of 100, Kendra would have her cane in hand at the street. Once in a while, she does get mad (kids do this sometimes, I suspect you're quite aware of it, LOL) and now and then she throws down her cane and announces she's "out of here!" and storms off. I'd like to know where she came up with that little tantrum move, and personally I think it is a really bad idea. (This is something else we're working on.) In theory, she could do that and walk into the street alone sometime. Hopefully we would stop her before she got there (so far, so good), but if she manages her way into the street, it is possible that a passing motorist, having read the sign and then seeing a child in the street who looked perhaps upset, confused, or disoriented might realize that maybe she is a blind child who cannot see his car coming and therefore be at least a little bit more careful. "Maybe" beats the motorist having no idea what's going at all. The fact that my child has no light perception and therefore sees no real difference in going for a walkabout at high noon vs. 4 am makes the folly of a "child at play" sign even greater for us. Who would take a sign seriously about "children at play" in the middle of the night? But "Blind Child" + a child in the road in the middle of the night? (Insert light bulb cartoon here as well.) And assuming she had her cane in hand? So much the better...

Of all the specialized signs we have discussed, I suspect the "Blind Child" signs combined with a child actually walking in/near the street (hopefully) with a cane are the most likely signs to be effective of any mentioned. Still, where is the HARM if this doesn't work? I get that people won't see kids who "look deaf" (or autistic, etc.) but still, knowing why a child doesn't react to sounds could be potentially useful. Maybe they just help the police when they show up to deal with a confused child the one time the child found their way into the street. We think these things will never happen, but sometimes they do. Maybe you do a perfect job every time with your kid, but your babysitter messes up and your child goes where he doesn't belong one night. Again, I see no down side to the sign.

There's one more part of this argument that seems to keep evaporating: Alternative skills for detecting cars rely rather heavily on cars being heard. Cars are getting quieter and quieter. Hybrids and electric cars are somewhere between hard to hear and impossible to detect by sound, depending on a number of factors. Sighted kids can be taught to adapt to these cars by looking more carefully. Someone please tell me what we can do to make blind children aware of silent cars driving towards them. (Adults too, for that matter.) Wouldn't it be a grand thing if drivers of these cars were somehow aware that some people might neither be able to hear or SEE them approaching? Maybe that ultimately falls to the car makers to solve (by adding some noise back), but until they do, what do WE do? And this is not some theoretical discussion. We have hybrid cars all over the place. Some of these cars run at times in a full electric mode and are super-quiet. And of corse there are growing numbers of totally electric cars on the roads as well. We can sit and say we're all the same as much as we want, but when a car comes and it can neither be seen nor heard, I don't think that ANY blind person is as safe as the sighted general-public.

Maybe part of my issue is I'm a bit old fashioned about some things. If my kids are out of line, I don't see a problem with other adults **reasonably** assisting, especially adults I know already. I'm certainly not going to sit by and watch another's child come to harm if I can help prevent it. I do believe it "takes a village to raise a child" but for some reason I get the impression that some people on the list think we need to keep the fact that our child is blind to ourselves and far away from the rest of the village's knowledge. Why is that? Am I misreading something? Don't post signs? Maybe a wish to turn the occasional white cane black so it will blend in better?

If there is a problem having a blind kid in the village, teach the village it is respectable to be blind. That, to me, is a much better approach. And maybe teach the village what not to do because it may put our kids (and blind adults) at risk as well. (Re: Dangerously quiet cars.) People may think blind kids aren't smart or capable, but when they talk with my daughter they quickly realize she's smart as a whip, and no doubt there are many blind children whose parents are on this list which are academically outstanding, or athletic, or super creative, or just plan charming. All these are the kinds of kids who can educate our respective villages.

I find it amusing in a way-- they're always so careful at our school (as officially required) not to let anyone "know" that Kendra is blind because it is a matter of privacy. Really? Seriously?... Because none of her classmates or their parents would EVER figure this out on their own, right? But the problem there is actually the county's requirement to protect our privacy. I just don't want Kendra to hear that people don't need to know she's blind and go to the next step and decide they aren't **supposed** to know. THAT would make me worry that she might be ashamed, or embarrassed. In general, in every way that we can monitor, our child sees herself as a regular kid who just happens to be blind.

One thing I would say to you about Clare, if I may-- you mention the responsibility falling on drivers. Legally, that may be true, but the RISK to life and limb remains your daughter's. And that risk will keep increasing as cars get closer and closer to silent. I could care less whose **fault** it is that your child-- or mine-- gets run over by a car. What I care about is preventing that from happening by any means possible, Yet I also want to let our kids go out and about freely. Quite the conundrum.

Defensive driving 101 is all about looking out for the other guy-- that's how we avoid accidents. Same thing with pedestrians really-- both from the driver's standpoint, and for pedestrians themselves. How many times have we heard and as kids, and told our own [sighted] kids: Before you cross, look left, right, then left again... Well, some of our blind kids simply aren't ready to fully deal with an adapted version of that with alternative skills yet. I know my daughter will get there (silent cars notwithstanding), but she isn't there at this time. That's reality. For some, these signs may offer a slightly greater chance of avoiding a problem. 

Honestly, (and I offer this broadly, not in response to Rene's reply) I think harsh public reactions to matters like these by blind people make blind people stand out (in undesirable ways) a LOT more than a few signs to protect certain children. If you truly think we parents are doing the wrong thing, offer some calm rational proof. Site some studies. Telling me the way I choose to raise my child may reflect poorly on yourself as an adult is certainly not persuasive. Neither is the threat of some sort of formal resolution. 

In all candor, I honestly doubt these signs are all that effective. I believe they probably help a little bit, at least in some cases. For me, that's enough of a reason to use them when parents want to give them a try. That, and my hope that drivers of quieter cars will learn to look for such signs and be extra careful when it is more likely that they cannot be seen by pedestrians. If you want guarantees for massive protection? Keep your child in the house. Problem is there are down sides there too.

This is a complex issue. I don't suggest the signs are for everyone. I do suggest that nobody has yet demonstrated to me how these signs put our kids at risk in any physical way. A few have suggested emotional trauma could be caused. I'm sorry, but I don't believe that is very likely-- not for my child. My daughter knows she's blind. It is part of who she is. It is a physical attribute that effects her life. It is why she reads braille and listens to audio described movies (when she so chooses). I don't know how else to explain my take on this, and maybe I'm misguided. Somethings in life are a nuisance. Blindness is a really big one. So would be deafness. Some people are too short to ride roller coasters at amusement parks. Should they resent signs which announce this? Should they sue Six Flags? I'm too heavy to climb safely on a standard duty ladder. Should I be offended if a ladder says that I'm too heavy to climb it? Should I find a stronger ladder? Or should I resent the signs on ladders and never climb a ladder? Better still, should I ignore the sticker and see of I fall and get hurt? Maybe these stickers make me feel like I'm overweight. That would be sort of bad for my sense of self-worth. Should I make the stickers be stopped somehow? How exactly are these stickers going to effect my life if I don't let them? I know these are nowhere near direct parallels, but they are a couple of the many, many examples of labels and limitations everywhere in life.

In a slower-paced calmer society little of this would matter. Split-second decisions in congested roads are what really make me worry about these things. As to your situation with your own kids Rene, I agree, it sounds to me like you are far better served by broader signage for all your children collectively. You have more kids in your house than we have on our entire street. You're also probably right that none of these signs do a great deal to help but isn't any potential help better than no chance of any improvement?

	-RH


On Feb 26, 2013, at 8:10 PM, Rene Harrell wrote:

> Richard,
> 
> I think you did an excellent job of outlining risks and concerns. :) I
> simply struggle with understanding how it translates in the practical
> reality of a sign. Unless your child is carrying a cane, her disability is
> INVISIBLE to the drivers coming down the road. They have no way to discern
> if your child is the Blind one that the sign refers to, or whether or not
> to treat every child walking down the road as if they might be the blind
> one. All they know is that there might be a blind child in the area but
> without a way of identifying a blind child, there is no way for them to see
> a 10 year old walking down the street and prepare themselves for the chance
> they might veer off into the road unexpectedly. As a driver then, I am not
> looking at your 10 year old and being any more careful about them than I
> would for any other ten year old, even with the "Blind Child" sign.
> 
> If your child is carrying a cane, then I don't need a Blind Child sign to
> recognize that your child is blind and to be extra vigilant about her
> crossing the road. Everywhere Clare goes with her cane, and when we are
> crossing roads, when drivers see that she is carrying a cane they assume
> the responsibility of being more aware of themselves and their driving.
> Most of them probably have no idea that white cane laws exist. This is how
> we safely navigate areas with no such sign in sight.
> 
> Same thing with "deaf child" and "autistic child" signs. When there is no
> way to actually differentiate the child who is the reason for the sign, you
> have no way discernible way to know for whom to be vigilant *for*. The sign
> then actually provides no benefit if you can't figure out *who* it is that
> is requiring this caution. If I see a 10 year old walking by the "deaf
> child sign" but he doesn't "appear" deaf to me, then I am not going to
> presume he's deaf.
> 
> I am not meaning to insult any one for choosing to use such a sign, and I
> don't think any one needs to feel guilty, shamed, or browbeaten for
> choosing to something they believe protects their child's safety,  nor
> needs to apologize for it. That was in no way the intent of my original
> post on this topic, and I apologize if my words came across in that manner.
> When determining this for ourselves, I ultimately concluded that people may
> not be able to identify my blind child if she were outside without her
> cane, but people CAN readily identify children. As I happen to have six
> young children, it is far more practical that people know to keep aware for
> little ones in general than my blind child in specific, and with her cane
> she would require no extra explanation that she is blind. Therefore, when
> the town wanted to put up a "BLIND CHILD" sign we declined, but my when
> across the street neighbor told me that he shifted a couple of signs he put
> up around my next door neighbor's house back when they had four small kids
> so that they encompassed my house, I smiled and said "thank you". As it is,
> we live on the corner of a half-forgotten street that dead ends into an
> even smaller and more forgotten street with only four additional houses.
> The road is so narrow that only one car can be on it at a time and if there
> are two cars going in opposite directions, one needs to pull off in a
> neighbor's yard for the other one to pass by. We have a couple of teenagers
> in the back who like to hot-rod their way down the road and have friends
> who like to do the same, but they know us personally because the
> neighborhood is incredibly small, and they keep a watchful eye for my kids
> in our yard. I think in reality, even the "Children at Play" sign does
> nothing practical, but as they were already there, I saw no harm in keeping
> them.
> 
> Rene--- mom to six amazing kids, including Miss Clare age 11 (ROP) and
> Seraphina, 8 months (ONH)
> On Tue, Feb 26, 2013 at 4:41 PM, Albert J Rizzi <albert at myblindspot.org>wrote: