[blindkid] feelings of blind children

Heather Field missheather at comcast.net
Tue Mar 5 04:57:19 UTC 2013


Hello all,
Barbara's story demonstrates the dangers of generalising. Blind people are 
not a homogeneous group of identical people who all do everything in the 
same way; just as sighted people are not all the same and do not all use the 
same methods and techniques. The speech therapist's question was seeking 
"the way" that all blind people do something. This is, of course, despite 
the clear evidence that people are different and have different preferences, 
abilities etc..

Many sighted people do not recognise others by their faces because they 
forget faces. Some use critical features, such as the person's height, 
striking bushy beard, long curly hair and, sometimes, the person's to whom 
they are married and always appear with in public. Some remember people by 
what they wore when they last saw them or by what they always wear -- a 
black leather jacket, for example. So, sighted people have a variety of 
techniques which they use, why would blind people not have several, often 
supporting techniques?

Many blind people do recognise people by their voices but, there are some, 
who use other methods including supporting methods, such as recognising 
people by their hands. Sometimes, I will shake hands with someone whom I 
have met before and, although I don't remember their voice even remotely, I 
will recognise that I have held/shaken that hand before. I have friends who 
use smell a lot and can tell me the actual brand of perfume or after shave, 
or fabric softener that a particular person always smells like. I, on the 
other hand, have only ever recognised one person by smell consistently and 
she used a body lotion with a smell that would literally make me feel ill. 
It was made worse by the amount she used; I think, she must have literally 
showered herself in it. Nevertheless, despite the obvious differences 
between people, sighted or blind, the misconception of homogeneity is alive 
and well.

Good on the speech therapist for bothering to ask her question and well done 
for sharing the diversity of available techniques that blind people use 
Barbara.
Warmly,
Heather Field


-----Original Message----- 
From: Barbara Hammel
Sent: Monday, March 04, 2013 8:27 PM
To: Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] feelings of blind children

Okay, here's a perception from a blind adult about something that just
happened today and how even adults can say some stupid stuff.  At our IEP
today, the speech person asked us if blind people know who people are by
shaking their hand.  I hope I didn't look too askance when I told her we
know folks by their voices.  (And if you are our younger twin, you know them
by their smell.  He smells most of the people he encounters.  I think mom,
dad, and our two regular workers he doesn't any more.)
Barbara




Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. -- Carl Sandburg
-----Original Message----- 
From: DrV
Sent: Monday, March 04, 2013 6:49 PM
To: Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] feelings of blind children

I'll echo these sentiments. I think adults get more worried about this
than the kids do (we did too).
The kids & often their classmates at that age take it all in stride & tend
not to make a big deal of it.
We did as Carol & Sally suggested.
Blind kids see & explore in a way that is different than mom or dad.
The comments by others will come up - sometimes they are comments or
questions that other kids just pose too loudly to their parents, sometimes
it is more direct.  Even adults can say some pretty stupid things.
I remember though when my eldest was about 6; a kid came up to him at the
aquarium & may a blunt comment about his cane. That launched a more
focused discussion at home. A few weeks later we went to our NFB State
Convention. What timing! The familiar sound of tapping of canes - but
magnified many-fold for a whole weekend was quite exciting. But I will
never forget the expression of excitement on his face when we piled into a
packed elevator - he first accidentally felt 1 cane, then another -> then
he actively reached around & counted 8 or 10 canes of various sized - & 2
guide dogs! It was quite a moving experience for all in the elevator. Over
the next few day a few adults let him take their canes for a spin. &
Braille everywhere, including the braille menus!
For that experience alone, I would urge you to attend convention if you
can - though I'm sure you will get so much more from the experience as
well.
Best wishes,
Eric


On 3/4/13 1:45 PM, "Carol Castellano" <carol_castellano at verizon.net> wrote:

>Hi Alison,
>
>I think a gradual approach is a good idea, just the way you might
>deal with other complicated issues children might ask about--where do
>babies come from, etc..  Give enough info for the stage he's in.
>
>We found being matter-of-fact was helpful.  "Hey, Serena, do you know
>how Mommy reads the book?  I do it with my eyes.  Sighted people read
>with their eyes.  Blind people read with their fingers.  Remember Mr.
>Ruffalo?  He's blind and he reads with his fingers, just like you
>will some day."  That sort of thing.
>
>As time goes on and as various situations crop up, your son will get
>more and more information about how eyesight works and where it's the
>same and where it's different from seeing with the fingers.
>
>I also second Sally's advice to get to know lots of blind
>people.  This normalizes the situation for everyone in the family and
>also gives you a built-in group to get tips from on how blind people
>accomplish various tasks.
>
>Best wishes,
>Carol
>
>Carol Castellano
>President, Parents of Blind Children-NJ
>Director of Programs
>National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>973-377-0976
>carol_castellano at verizon.net
>www.blindchildren.org
>www.nfb.org/parents-and-teachers
>
>
>
>At 01:35 PM 3/4/2013, you wrote:
>>I wanted to say, Arielle, I appreciate your comments about how you
>>felt as a child regarding how your parents reacted to your
>>blindness.  It provides some good perspective for me as a sighted
>>parent of a blind four year old.
>>
>>Right now my son does not know that he is blind, but I can see the
>>wheels turning in his head.  He asks me about the paper I read
>>stories from and yesterday he asked what was the purpose of some
>>piano sheet music I was using.  The other day, a boy ran up to him
>>and grabbed his cane ignorantly, and asked several questions about
>>its purpose and about Nate's blindness.  I was very aware that Nate
>>was listening to what I said.  I try to answer in an honest and
>>non-judgmental way.  I often say to other kids that he can't see
>>with his eyes but that he uses his hearing, cane and touch
>>instead.  When asked why his eyes don't see, I say they formed
>>differently when he was a baby.  I don't know if these are the best
>>answers, so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know.
>>
>>And in the future when Nate asks me about it, I want to be honest,
>>yet not make him feel bad about it in any way.  Do I tell him that
>>most people see with their eyes, or do I let him figure this out on
>>his own?  I feel that telling him that fact might make him feel bad,
>>but should he know?  I would think the gradual approach might be
>>better.  As in some other topics with bringing up a child, maybe I
>>should match the complexity of the answer to the complexity of the
>>question?
>>
>>Thanks for any thoughts,
>>Alison
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>
>
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