[blindkid] Chorus class

Mon Feb 2 15:21:42 UTC 2015

Allison, this is so well said.  Those teen years are very difficult
for everyone.  And a blind teen really wants to fit in just like
everyone else.

On 2/2/15, Allison Hilliker via blindkid <blindkid at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Hi Merry-Noel,
>
> I don't post too often on here but I was so moved by your story that I
> wanted to respond.
>
> Something very similar happened to me with show choir in high school. My
> experience, more than 15 years ago, was so much like Ashleah's that it makes
> me sad to know that things haven't changed all that much.
>
> As a parent, NFB member, TVI, and advocate, you likely want to fight this
> battle to the end because this teacher's attitudes are so totally not okay.
> That said, there is one variable in this case that makes this less of a good
> idea. Ashleah is a teenager. And teens want to do just about anything not to
> stand out, especially if they already do stand out because of blindness. My
> guess is, even if you won this show choir battle, Ashleah still wouldn't
> enjoy the experience because it singled her out to more or less take on a
> teacher. And to some extent Ashleah would be right in her feelings because
> this teacher has authority and can find many micro ways to complicate
> Ashleah's life even if she does make it to show choir.
>
> I'm not sure what your best solution to this situation is, but here's what I
> did. I didn't do show choir myself, and instead I got involved in two other
> things that built my confidence. I got involved in community theater and my
> school's quiz bowl team. Quiz bowl was an academic competition team. Most
> schools have them, but they are called by many different names. Both of
> these things built my confidence because I was able to excel in areas in
> which I experienced less blindness-related adversity. Yes, I had some, most
> of us blind people always will, but there wasn't much overt discrimination.
> This helped reassure me that I had things I was good at and also that I
> could compete as part of a team of sighted people. I think that for teens,
> that is more important to learn than the advocacy skill benefits of fighting
> a discrimination battle. I wouldn't say that was necessarily true for
> younger kids, whose battles will be mostly fought by parents, and certainly
> not true for adults who must do their own advocacy, but for teens I think it
> is true. JMO.
>
> So I think you are doing a great job here so far. You're letting Ashleah
> know that you believe she can do show choir, and also reassuring her that if
> she wants to advocate for herself that you will help her out. And that,
> unfortunately, is pretty much all you can do since she's asserted that she
> does not want to try for show choir. It may make you sad and frustrated not
> to insist, but that may be your best option. Moreover, you're not totally
> out of proactive options either, as a parent, you can now nudge your
> daughter into trying new things in other areas. She may ultimately find
> something she likes better than show choir.
>
> As another interesting side note, I didn't do show choir myself in high
> school, I just joined the regular school choir that everyone could get into.
> And in that choir I met one of my life-long best friends who I still keep in
> touch with today. She was sighted, but one of the things she and I first
> bonded over was how much we both disliked the choir teacher. Because, just
> as Ashleah's teacher does, mine too had her obvious favorites. And my
> sighted friend felt that this teacher wasn't giving her a full chance
> either. This showed me that, even if I wasn't blind, I still might not get
> picked for show choir because I just might not be one of the favorites. And
> learning that it's not just blind people who are treated unfairly sometimes
> was an important life lesson too. And now, looking back, I'm so thankful to
> have my friend Tiffany that it seems worth not having been in show choir
> because I met an amazing friend. In other words, there will most likely be
> something even better out there awaiting Ashleah even if she doesn't do show
> choir.
>
> Hope this helps. Good luck and let us know how things go.
>
> Best,
> Allison
>
>
>
>
> From: blindkid [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Merry-Noel
> Chamberlain via blindkid
> Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2015 10:53 AM
> To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [blindkid] Chorus class
>
> Hello everyone. I hope all is doing well and keeping warm and safe this
> winter season.
>
> My husband and I went to our daughter's Parent/Teacher conference last week.
> Ashleah is a 9th grade high school student, blind, and an academic student
> with all As. She loves to sing and does it well. (Not just a mother's point
> of view here.) Anyway, her school has a "Show Choir" that she has shown some
> interest in but the teacher, the her friends have told me, has her favorites
> and constantly picks those for solos. Usually these are students in Show
> Choir. This is the third year Ashleah has had this teacher. I thought she
> would get a different teacher when she went to the high school but that
> didn't happen. Ashleah has never tried out for Show Choir because of this
> teacher having her favorites. So, back to parent/teacher conference night. I
> reached my boiling point, which doesn't happen too often, mind you. The
> teacher commented that Ashleah is receiving an A+ and she would like for
> Ashleah to try out for a special event that, "doesn't require any dancing."
> Ashleah would just need to walk around the audience while she sang with the
> rest of the group. At that moment, I asked the teacher what she would do if
> a student of hers were in a wheelchair and wanted to sign up for Show Choir?
> Would she discourage that student just as she has done my daughter? I
> proceeded to tell her that Ashleah has wanted to try out for Show Choir but
> hasn't because of her. The teacher commented that she feared for Ashleah's
> safety on the risers. I told her that Ashleah is an excellent cane traveler
> and the woman nodded. I said Ashleah could learn the movements if she had
> some assistance...perhaps a video of the movements or a peer, or even she,
> the teacher, could assist her in learning the moves. The point being, I told
> the teacher, is that she need not close the door without giving Ashleah
> every opportunity to walk through. Yes, this was all said in front of my
> daughter, who was a little upset with me for fear the teacher would be upset
> with her. I told Ashleah, the teacher was wrong and I was being an advocate
> for my daughter in hopes that the next time, my daughter would be an
> advicate for herself.
>
> I also spoke to Ashleah's case manager that night and informed her what
> transpired with Chorus teacher.
>
> So since that night, the teacher has had a couple of "practices" in class.
> This morning, Ashleah says she officially HATES Show Choir. Her decision to
> not try to unlock that door.....not her teacher's.....(I hope.)
>
> Merry-Noel Chamberlain
>
>
>
>
>
> Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad<https://overview.mail.yahoo.com?.src=iOS>
>
>
>
>
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-- 
Marianne Denning, TVI, MA
Teacher of students who are blind or visually impaired
(513) 607-6053