[BlindMath] How math feels

[Abdulqadir Ahmad]

Hi,
I want to ramble and talk and complain about how math feels for me now as a blind person.
Math used to be my thing when I was sighted. I would choose learning and solving math problems almost over any other school related tasks.
Now, I find it frustrating / annoying / tiring / not fun.
I became blind after my secondary / high school. I am in my 3rd year in in computer science degree. I took 6 math courses last year, and I can't say I enjoyed any of them.
The schools resources aren't accessible. I can't find the right resource online that matches what I am supposed to learn in a course. Everything is a bit better if I can find an accessible resource that works. I like openstax and Paul's online math notes.
I started writing my math notes and works in markdown with pandoc for compilation. I reached a point where there are things I can't express in markdown, so I switched to pure latex with make4ht.
I can write latex properly, but it never felt like the right tool for math for blind people.
I think one of the problem is the fact that I feel like my math has degraded, and it takes me way more time to learn.
I think mathcat is nice for reading math. I don't have a big problem with reading accessible math.
I think the process is too convoluted. I should be able to read the math I write immediately, without having to spend a couple of seconds waiting for lualatex to convert my tex file to html. I have my conversion process automated, so I wonder how other people cope.
I think my biggest problem is the lack of accessible resources.
I am very happy I am getting done with math this semester, and I don't think I will try it again anytime soon.
With a lifted heart,
Abdulqadir Ahmad
https://arfs6.github.io