[humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy

Sun Nov 9 18:57:21 UTC 2014

I don't know if that works across the board, but I needed to cross a room at
work to get something off the copier; for various reasons the acoustics are
horrible, so I asked a client to guide me--I was an independent living
specialist then--and he did a superb job with next to no explanation and
seemed good for his self-esteem--he had a tendency to put up an awful lot of
roadblocks to his employment success even though society was already doing
that due to the nature of his issues.
Darla

-----Original Message-----
From: humanser [mailto:humanser-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Carly
Mihalakis via humanser
Sent: Saturday, November 08, 2014 8:21 AM
To: Alyssa Munsell; Human Services Division Mailing List; 'JD Townsend';
'Darrel Kirby'; 'Human Services Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy

Good morning, Alyssa, and everyone,

Leave it open, asking them if they'd feel comfortable with that arrangement,
giving them the option of declining. It can form a bond, don't you think?
for today, Car

  At 06:53 AM 10/5/2014, Alyssa Munsell via humanser wrote:
>Thank you, everyone, for your feedback. These are all excellent ideas!
>
>JD- How successful has it been for you ask clients to guide you places 
>or help you do something as a trust exercise? I was wondering about 
>that technique myself but not sure if it would put unintentional undue 
>responsibility on the client.
>
>Thanks so much everyone!
>
>Alyssa
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: JD Townsend [mailto:43210 at Bellsouth.net]
>Sent: Saturday, October 04, 2014 12:00 PM
>To: Darrel Kirby; 'Alyssa Munsell'; 'Human Services Division Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>
>Thank you, Darrel , for this excellent post.
>
>
>JD
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Darrel Kirby via humanser
>Sent: Thursday, October 02, 2014 9:20 PM
>To: 'Alyssa Munsell' ; 'Human Services Division Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>Excellent question and even better answers. My experience has revealed 
>that blindness as a therapist is one of my greatest tools. Firstly, I 
>have heard from many therapists that silence is a skill that takes time 
>to develop. I would not panic about having some difficulty with it.
>
>Secondly, I find, now serving as a practicum instructor, that students 
>do not permit clients enough time to think about the questions asked. 
>My students and supervisors who observe me have provided feedback that 
>they cannot believe how comfortable I am with silence. No matter what 
>is happening, I thinkit is part of my job responsibility to create the 
>space for clients to think, feel, do, and say whatever necessary for 
>them at the time. It takes time to dive deep and I do not want my 
>clients talking if they are busy diving.
>
>Thirdly, like others have mentioned, I distinguish between silence that 
>is communicating a very loud message, and that ambiguous silence. If 
>things are going well and I suddenly experience silence, I either use 
>humor to remind them I cannot see their non-verbals or I use immediacy 
>to ask what they are thinking or feeling right now. If I get the sense 
>that my client is angry and the silence is a passive-aggressive attempt 
>to punish me or a family member, I, being a cognitive-behavioral 
>therapist, might suggest asking, "I can feel your anger and anger is a 
>perfectly acceptable emotion, but I have to wonder if what you are 
>telling yourself right now about me/your family member is actually 
>true?... What if you are telling yourself something that is making you mad
and it isn't even true... or maybe it is true"
>
>All of these situations depend upon client hx and are case sensitive. I 
>do not work with children, but all of the examples of getting people to 
>talk are great. I like, "What do you do for fun?" "favorite movie, 
>book, song, artist?" "Who is your hero or who do you respect/value."
>
>And back to that idea that blindness is a tool... I think we create the 
>space for people to take off their masks and get honest with 
>themselves. I have had clients tell me that not seeing them provides a 
>sense of safety. I also think blindness offers a chance to demonstrate
"solution-focused"
>approaches to problems, over-coming adversity, the power of 
>attitude/thinking, and modeling healthy communication. Communication is 
>the sending and receiving of messages. As blind people we do not always 
>get the non-verbals, but we are still responsible for clarifying that 
>the messages we send are received by others. We must also clarify that 
>the messages we receive are the messages others are trying to send. 
>Encouraging, by necessity, our clients to use their words helps with 
>emotional expression and practicing effective communication.
>
>I hope these suggestions are helpful
>
>Darrel Kirby
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: humanser [mailto:humanser-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alyssa 
>Munsell via humanser
>Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 6:27 PM
>To: humanser at nfbnet.org
>Subject: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>Hi everyone!
>
>
>
>I hope this message finds you all well. I have a question for those of 
>you who practice mental health therapy. I've been doing therapy for my 
>final year internship, and I am noticing that I'm not comfortable when 
>there is a long period of silence between my clients and I. This is 
>because I'm not able to see their body language well, and therefore, am 
>having a hard time assessing whether or not the silence is productive. 
>As you probably already know, silence can be powerful and necessary in 
>therapy, so I don't want to diminish it. However, without being able to 
>see non-verbal cues about what's going on with the person (e.g. they're 
>just thinking or looking at me to say something), it is hard for me to 
>know what to do. I was wondering what you all do in those types of
situations.
>
>
>
>Any feedback would be immensely appreciated.
>
>
>
>Thanks so much,
>
>
>
>Alyssa
>
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>
>JD Townsend LCSW
>Helping the light dependent to see.
>Daytona Beach, Earth, Sol System
>
>
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