[nabs-l] Living by NFB's Philosophy questions

Sat Apr 24 23:27:38 UTC 2010

Gerardo,
I live by the philosophy that my blindness is nothing more than an
inconvenience. I don't let it stop me from taking busses to get
places, cooking for myself, going dancing, or traveling to a place I
have never been. Even having the attitude that my blindness is not a
tragedy I am still occasionally burdened by feelings of frustration,
anger, or sadness because of situations I am put in as a result of my
blindness. An example of this happening to me occured a few weeks ago
when my city experienced some really bad weather. One of my college
classes is a night class and my city's public transportation is set up
so that after 6PM only certain busses run and they only run once an
hour. After my class is dismissed I typically walk about a mile to the
nearest night time bus stop where I will wait about 45 minutes for the
next bus.
That night the weather was aweful and I didn't feel very safe walking
in the lightening and being surrounded by drivers who  quite frankly
don't always drive very safely. I called my mother before class and
asked if she could pick me up since I didn't feel safe walking. She
agreed and I went to class. My classmates are all very nice people and
many of them have explicitly told me that if I ever needed a ride then
I could call them and they'd help me. I would have asked them for a
ride but the last few times I tried to broache the subject they all
miraculously became too busy to help.
When my class was over I went downstairs to wait for my mom. It was
pouring outside and all of my classmates walked past me without asking
if I needed a ride, knowing full well how far I have to walk and wait
for the bus. As it turns out, my mom sent my cousin to pick me up and
on the way he got into a car wreck because of the bad weather. My
cousin was fine annd his car only suffered minor damage but I was very
upset. I felt guilty because I'd asked for a ride, even though it was
the right thing to do and I felt very angry at my classmates for not
even thinking to see if I needed to go anywhere.
Just to give you a little more information about myself and this
situation, I want you to know I am a very independent person. I always
see if I can get somewhere using public transportation before I ask
for a ride from family or friends. When I doo look for rides i always
offer something in exchange like gas money, a meal at a restaurant,
coffee etc. I don't think I am entitled to freebees just because I am
blind so when I said that I was angry with my classmates it's because
they offered me rides and then always seemed to be miraculously busy
when I tried to take them up on their offor. I was also angry because
if I could drive and I ssaw that someone would have to walk in bad
weather, regardless of whether or not they were blind I would have
offered them a ride and followed through with it.
I used that example to help illustrate the fact that it is natural to
feel things like that even if you are very independent. The trick is
to not let them get you down. I got out of my bad mood once I realized
that my cousin was fine and that I couldn't expect people to have the
same level of generosity or morals that I do. I would suggest you
looking into the possibility of hiring a driver though. If you can
choose when you want to go somewhere and how you will get there then
your feelings of frustration will go away a little bit. I hope this
example helps. Just don't feel like you're the only one that has these
feelings. I'm sure that everyone on this list has felt the same way
you feel at one point in their lives. Just remember that a feeling is
a feeling and is something that you shouldn't let control your life.
Use this as a catalyst to learn more alternative techniques or do
something like hire a driver. remember that we will always be here for
advice or support.

Best Wishes,
Domonique

On 4/24/10, Gerardo Corripio <gera1027 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi listers: this week something happened I'd like to share which brings me
> to some questions about trying to live via NFB's philosophy.
> this week I had an appointment and unfortunately because of circumstances
> hard to explain depend on my parents to take me to places but an working on
> getting a driver hired to whom I can contact when wanting to go places. Is
> this what it means when you guys talk about drivers?
> Anyway the weather outside was terrible! raining very hard thus my parents
> asked my oppinion on if I should cancel which when my parents told me that
> it was black outside and the weather didn't want to seem to clear I accepted
> but have had a nagging feeling that I should have done something more but
> can't put my finger on what! if I would have had a driver would I still have
> had to cancel? If I would have lived by NFB philosophy would I have reacted
> being stubborn and went anyway? because making things worse two hours later
> the weather began to clear! and I felt very (I don't know the word)
> impotence? I mean that lately when things happen and I may have a way to
> solve them I feel desperate like I want to do it but am afraid to go forth!
> I have lots of plans and ideas which I've kept to myself in all the things I
> can do but haven't had a chance to try! Is this the right path in getting to
> live via NFB Philosophy? Would I have resolved the situation better had I
> had the tools such as informed choice and other concepts I've learned in
> reading the Braille Monitor and on the list?
> Gerardo
>
>
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