[nabs-l] Independent Travel At Crowded Major College Sporting Events

[Jedi]

Kerri,

About asking for directions and refusing assistance. You're on the 
right track. Just let folks know that you're okay and tell them what 
kind of help they can give you if at all. Otherwise, say no thanks and 
move on. If they insist on helping you, just be polite, yet firm, in 
your refusal by stating that you're not interested in receiving certain 
kinds of help and would prefer other forms of help instead.

As to taking a sighted person along but you being in charge, it is a 
little impractical to tell a sighted person to take the back seat 
because they don't know how. They will want to help you, so they'll 
interfear. Otherwise, they'll just be super anxious and no fun to be 
around. So your better bet is to either go it alone or ask a friend to 
go who you know won't get in your way. If you can, I'd recommend 
inviting a blind friend to tag along.

You asked about being a female and going to these kind of events. I'll 
be honest: it's really hard (just as is true with blindness) to stop 
thinking of oneself as a helpless and defenseless female at the mercy 
of potentially drunken men. You talked about people thinking of you as 
the poor blind girl. It sounds like you're still struggling with that 
in your own mind. If it were me, I'd probably go with someone just to 
have someone to talk to and because the buddy system is always a safe 
bet no matter your sex or vision status. But if at all possible, go 
with another blind woman. That way, you'll know in your heart that sex 
nor vision has anything to do with anything.

Good luck.

Respectfully,
Jedi

Original message:
> Hi All!

> I have some more travel questions, this time about navigating sporting events.

> I am a huge sports fan. My team is the West Virginia University
> Mountaineers, we made it to the Final Four last year in Basketball and
> are a major Division I school.

> I am trying to do what I want when I want and keep a positive attitude.

> This coming weekend is my birthday. All I really want is to practice
> independent travel and feel the confidence that comes from doing what
> you want when you want independently and knowing you used your cane
> and for the most part did it yourself. There is a basketball game this
> Friday, and a football game this Saturday.

> First I'll start with the questions about the basketball game, then
> move to football. I attended a basketball game last week and things
> went well for the most part but I do have a few questions.

> First, how do you explain to sighted people that you appreciate their
> help but you need to explore on your own? At the basketball game
> Friday, I want to try to find my seat on my own...I want to pass each
> section (not go into each section but walk past it) and every once in
> a while randomly ask someone "Excuse me what section is this?" Oh,
> this is section 45...I need section 60...I need to keep going...kind
> of like the way everyone finds their delegations at national
> convention or the way you find your gate for a flight at an airport. I
> need to explore, not be guided! Of course though the sighted people
> just want to guide...how do I let them know their help is appreciated
> but I need to explore on my own and that all I need is some directions
> towards say the ticket window or the concession stand?

> Also, because I haven't had much practice using my cane I don't walk
> as fast as I should. Because of this when I am lost...I look lost.
> Another thing I do is when I am unsure of where to go I tend to doubt
> myself and turn around thinking I am going in the wrong direction when
> in fact I am usually going the right way! How do you gain more
> confidence when lost? Does it just come with time? When your unsure do
> you just keep going even if you doubt yourself until you find someone
> who can give you directions or tell you if you are going the right
> way?

> On Saturday is a football game. About 60,000 people attend our games
> and they are a big deal. Being that next week is my birthday, I really
> want to go to the game. At the moment I don't have anyone to go with
> and thought it would be fun and a big boost of confidence to try going
> by myself.

> For the football game should I call ahead and let someone know I am
> coming so I can be watched out for? (I'm more scared of the drunks
> being a female not because of blindness)

> My concern is not so much getting to the game; my concern is after the
> game. After the games you have 60,000 people all trying to get home at
> the same time and traffic is horrible. There is no way I could get
> home after the game; a cab couldn't get near the stadium. I know
> several people who are tailgating. Would it be safe as a female to try
> navigating the parking lots with all the drunk tailgaters with my cane
> and just asking random directions? Do police or other emergency
> officials patrol the tailgating areas after the games or is it just
> the fans?

> Is it even possible or safe for a blind person, particularly a female
> to go to a major college football game by themselves? Has anyone on
> this list done it or know of anyone who has? Or, am I just crazy?

> Heres the thing. Almost all of the people around here feel sorry for
> me and see me as the poor blind girl. Many people also know my
> mother...and so not only do they see me as the little blind girl but
> if I call them to ask for help with anything they immediately want to
> know why my mother isn't doing it for me, or helping me or whatever.
> If I call someone such as my aunt and go to the game with her and her
> friends and they guide me everywhere (as sighted people seem to want
> to always do) what does that say to them? And, what does it tell them
> about my new NFB philosophy of cane travel and independence?

> Is there any way of going to the game with someone but them letting me
> be in charge of the traveling? Would that be too much to ask a sighted
> person? So, someone is with me, and I am holding their arm so we can
> stay together but I am in charge...asking for directions, telling them
> which way to go, trying to get us un-lost when we get lost...that sort
> of thing. So, that way I'm with someone but get to practice travel at
> the same time.

> The thing is if I'm just guided I never get the practice and confidence...

> Help! I'm torn...it's my birthday...I really want to  practice
> independent travel but also be safe...I love love love the idea of a
> person coming with me but me being in charge of the travel. I don't
> care how I do this football game but one way or the other I want to
> have some independent travel and feel that confidence whether with
> someone or not!
> Help!

> Wouldn't it be so cool to go to my aunt's tailgate aftr the game? I
> can hear her now..."Kerri! How did you get here? What are you doing
> here?" Me:"Oh I just got back from the game. I'm here with my cane...I
> just asked a bunch of directions." She'd probably scream lol!

> Thanks for all help and ideas!

> Kerri

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