[nabs-l] Report on the football/basketball game

[Jedi]

Keri,

And now you know you can just take off. So definitely, I would the next 
time you get an opportunity similar to the basketball game.

About your mom. Some people won't ever get it no matter how many times 
you show them that you can do something. So don't be terribly surprised 
if, after having seen you walk successfully with your cane, your mom 
still freaks out. If that's the caswe, I'd try these strategies: give 
her a Kernel book or try to explain your need for independence in terms 
she can understand. Everyone, sighted or blind, has had overbearing 
people in their lives who, for whatever reason, act like the person 
seeking independence is incompetent. For most sighted people, that 
generally takes the form of parents or supervisors at work. People in 
that situation generally think "Gosh, I wish so-and-so would just let 
me be!" See if you can't reach her on that level and help her see the 
analogy between that sort of experience and her freaking out over your 
cane. Try to help her understand that the experiences aren't so 
different by communicating how her freaking out makes you feel. Chances 
are that she'll see the analogy just by identifying her own experiences 
in yours. I've been using this strategy lately, and it seems to work 
well with sighted people, especially when the "I can do anything" talk doesn't.

Respectfully,
Jedi

Original message:
> Hi All!

> Sorry for the long delay.

> Things for the basketball/football game went okay.

> For the basketball game I did excellent. I used my cane the entire time.

> I got directions in when I was dropped off and walked in by myself.
> There were a million people around to follow and I could tell when I
> was nearing the door because the sound of my cane changed and I could
> smell the inside of the building (the Coliseum has a distinct smell.)

> As soon as I walked in someone took my ticket. I was introduced to a
> man named Jason who would walk me to my seat.

> Instead of taking his arm though, I asked him if he could walk beside
> me and give me directions. We had to walk all the way across the
> Coliseum to the other side to get to the seats.

> While we were walking he said "You do good with that stick." I
> explained that it was a white cane and that it helps me get around,
> and that I am much more independent when I use it and it conveys much
> more information to me than when I take someone's arm.

> We arrived at my seat and I was so excited...I had just walked all
> across the Coliseum by myself without being guided.

> I thanked Jason for giving such good directions and allowing me to use
> my cane...some people don't like giving directions or act strangely
> but he did really well!

> At halftime, I was starving so decided to get a hotdog.

> I wasn't sure where the concession stand was but because I had used my
> cane I had some idea of where to go.

> After asking a few people for directions (they all gave directions and
> did not guide) I made it to the concession stand, got my hotdogs, and
> went back.

> Again I was so excited with myself.

> When the game was over I knew I needed to get back to the door I was
> dropped off at and I knew it was on the other side of the coliseum.

> There is a walkway between the seats. On one side are the seats, and
> on the other is a wall with openings to hallways you can turn down.
> There was noone around, so I just guessed which direction to start
> heading. I had a pretty good feeling I was going the right way because
> I had used the cane to get to the seats so was pretty sure of how to
> reverse.

> I ran into several people along the way, and they reassured me I was
> going the right way. I walked fast, confidently.

> After walking a while, I ran into someone else who told me I had
> passed the opening to turn down to get to the blue gate. I turned
> around and it was right there;I had just passed it.

> I turned into the opening and began walking toward the door.

> Just as I had done with coming in I sort of followed all the people
> who were also going to the door. I could also feel the cold air coming
> from outside.

> As I was at the rug that led to the doors, I heard a little girl from
> somewhere amongst all the people say something like "Mommy where is
> she going? Does she know where she is going?" tThere were a ton of
> people around so it was hard to hear, but I thought I heard the mother
> reply "Shhhh, let her walk."

> I also ran into three people I knew.

> I went outside and found the curb with no problem. Again, because I
> used my cane I vaguely knew where to go.

> The next day was the football game. At the very last minute, my mother
> decided she wanted to go to the football game with me since we did
> have an extra ticket. Because it was my birthday, and I wanted to
> spend time with Mom, I decided she could come with me. However, Things
> did not go so well at the football game. I tried to compromise with
> Mom to let me have some independent travel, and I tried to do what you
> guys suggested: pay attention to where we were going. To make a long
> story short, I did get to use my cane with Mom giving directions to
> get out of the stadium and it went okay. I think looking back I
> could've done the entire thing by myself...there are ushers at the
> bottom of the steps to every section, everyone ws very nice, and they
> even have a texting program where you can text the word "aid" to a
> certain number if you need assistance and someone will come over to
> help you. I found out later the reason Mom did not let me use my cane
> more during the game was because she doesn't think I am good enough
> with it in "dangerous" situations. She was mainly afraid I would fall
> on the concrete steps and hurt myself, however as I pointed out my
> cane is long enough that it comes to steps two steps ahead and I cover
> very well so I get plenty of warning. I have never fallen or gotten
> hurt when using my cane;if anything it has prevented many injuries.

> I was initially very upset with Mom for not trusting me. However, last
> Monday was my actual birthday and I was determined to make up for the
> lack of cane use during the football game and use my cane the entire
> day since it was my birthday.

> We first went to a restaurant for lunch. There were three of us;me, my
> mother, and her friend. After I had ordered (I was first) instead of
> standing around waiting for the others to order, I took off and went
> exploring to try to find us a table. I came to the cluster of tables
> and went around to each table and checked to see if there were three
> seats. Eventually I came to one which had three chairs and sat down.
> So, for the first time I had found us all a table on my own.

> After we had finished, my mother was talking to her friend outside
> before they parted. I was going to go with her to Target to get some
> new clothes. I wanted a refill on my drink so again got up, tand took
> off in search of the fountain. Soon, and after asking a couple of
> people I found it and got more Coke.

> At Target again I used my cane the entire time. I had to try on
> several pairs of jeans and since we could not find any pairs that fit
> we had to go from the dressing room across the store , to the isles of
> jeans and back sevral times. With mom giving directions I used the
> cane. It came to every obsticle;the isles were very narrow with racks
> of clothing on each side and various obsticles sitting between them
> where you could walk. The cane to everything; and each time it hit an
> obsticle or I successfully went through a very narrow isle I called to
> Mom, who was in front of me "See how the cane comes to these things?"

> Even though I did not get to use my cane as much as I would've liked
> at the football game, I'd like to think I made up for it on my
> birthday. I hope my mother saw and really realized how the cane
> prevents me from getting hurt and how it comes to every obsticle and
> how I can navigate narrow isles/passageways without runnning into
> anything with my body.

> I learned a lot from the three days. You do never know who you run
> into; the people who saw me at the basketball game and target saw a
> blind girl who was using her cane independently; they did not see a
> blind girl holding onto someone's arm.

> I wonder what kind of discussion that little girl and her mother had
> afterwords in the car. Maybe the mother was able to educate the little
> girl on independence of blind people.

> Now, if Jason ever escorts another blind person at a basketball game
> he will know the stick is actually a white cane and that it symbolizes
> independence.

> I now know how to manage my mother when she is worried or is
> overprotective;I just take off.

> I am very proud of myself for not only using my cane but for the
> independence I was able to show to those who saw me, and to those who
> encountered me. This makes me want to work even harder to not back
> down to those who want to overly help and really really use my cane in
> every situation.

> Thanks for all your help;without your encouragement and advice I'm not
> sure I would've been able to do the basketball game by myself.

> There is one more home football game left on Dec. 5. Who knows, I may
> just take off with my cane and try doing it alone just like the
> basketball game.

> Kerri

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