[nabs-l] Grabbing Etc.

[Joshua Lester]

Wow!
Arielle, you've been through it!
That's not necessary, that they do those things!
I've been through alot of stuff regarding this, as well.
I've also had guides go faster than I'm accustomed to, and I've
fallen, because they didn't go at my pace.
I always tell people, if they guide me, that they must go at my pace.
Blessings, Joshua

On 11/7/11, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all,
> I don't know if any of you can relate to this, but for me, being
> grabbed or pulled by the arm or back is more than just a dignity
> issue; it's a safety issue as well. I have always had poor balance,
> and when someone is putting pressure on one side of my body, or
> propelling me from behind, I feel unsafe and unbalanced. If I were to
> bump into an obstacle or trip while being pulled this way, I feel I
> would have a much harder time regaining my balance. For some reason,
> many sighted people think leading me this way is helpful, but in fact
> it's not only unnecessary, but makes safe and efficient travel more
> challenging for me. For example, I went on a white-water rafting trip
> in high school and one of the river guides tried to pull me up into
> the boat by my arm. I felt unbalanced and asked him to let go of my
> arm and let me get into the raft by myself. The guide told me to stop
> arguing with him and pulled me up into the boat. As I was getting in,
> my foot slipped and I wasn't able to stabilize myself because of the
> one-sided pressure on my body. I fell and bruised my leg, and was
> incredibly annoyed that the guide didn't listen to me. I also feel
> very unsafe when people attempt to grab my left arm because I am a
> left-handed cane user and my cane arc is impaired when they do this.
> The absolute worst is when someone grabs me without any verbal
> communication at all, such as a bus driver who grabbed me by both
> shoulders without saying a word because he thought I was going to run
> into a pole that my cane had just barely cleared. Needless to say, the
> silent grab scares me to death!
> Because of these experiences, I have learned to dig my feet in and
> will not follow someone who is grabbing or pulling me, especially if
> they are holding on to my cane arm. I will politely ask them to let
> go, and most people are just shocked that I don't want them to do
> that, especially if I have asked them for verbal directions.
> Unfortunately, many people think the only way to "help" a blind person
> is through this kind of physical maneuvering. Sometimes if I ask
> someone for information or directions, they will answer my question
> and then say, "Do you want me to help you?" I guess implying they are
> offering to physically lead me there. I will of course tell them they
> have already helped me a lot with the directions and that I really
> appreciate their help and don't need any more. If someone does the
> silent grab, or if they refuse to let go after a polite request to do
> so, then I will gently but firmly disengage my arm. Fortunately this
> has been very effective. If time allows I will give a simple
> explanation for not wanting to be grabbed, such as "Please don't grab
> me-it makes me feel off-balance" or "Please don't grab me-it's easier
> for me if you just walk beside me" etc. I do think that most people
> are just very ignorant and don't necessarily grab out of pity, but
> because they believe that grabbing is the most effective way to
> provide guidance to the blind. I try to educate them and some
> definitely do understand. I do feel guilty about times when I have
> snapped at people and not had the time to explain, such as when
> crossing a street or getting on a bus. But even though I feel bad, I
> don't regret my action because to me, it's a matter of safety above
> all else. I've also found that in some circumstances it's actually
> more efficient to do things independently than to be "helped". For
> instance, I went to get a pedicure a few weeks ago and the pedicurist
> insisted on putting my shoes and coat back on me after the pedicure
> was over. I tried to politely refuse, but she wouldn't hear it. Thing
> is, for whatever reason she was very methodical in putting my shoes
> on, and it took her about twice as long to do it as it would have if I
> had done it myself.
> Incidentally, I've never understood why some people get confused about
> sighted guide and think the technique is for them to grab my elbow and
> walk a step behind me. Even when I teach people the proper way, they
> will occasionally "get it backwards" and want to grab my elbow
> instead. Isn't it a lot harder to lead or guide someone if you're
> behind them than if you're in front of them?
> Best,
> Arielle
>
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