[nabs-l] Blindness vs. Other Minority Groups

[Arielle Silverman]

Nice going, Chris! I have had a few people ask about praying for me,
and I'm always too dumbfounded to come up with a good or intelligent
response. I think what you said about praying for less discrimination
is right on, and hopefully gets the point across to those guys. One
thing I said once when I was asked about being prayed for was "you can
pray for me if you want to, but I think there are probably a lot of
other people who need the prayers more than I do".
Funny story-once a few years ago at Washington Seminar, I was in one
of the House buildings with two other blind people from our affiliate,
and someone came up and for some reason wanted to pray for just me.
She said something about thanking God for making me so beautiful.
Um...What?
Best,
Arielle

On 11/10/11, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Beth,
>
> Now, I have to first say to everyone that this is a good
> discussion, but I hope we don't get too off topic, and I really
> hope this discussion doesn't turn into another one like the one
> we had in September.  Not saying that anyone is doing anything
> like that, but just a fair warning.  Beth, as for all religions,
> there are radicals in all religions.  There are a few Muslims who
> I know (including you now, BTW, give me a call on Skype sometime,
> haven't been able to get a hold of you on Skype in a while,) and
> my beliefs on the Muslim religion as a whole have changed since I
> met one.  I first thought that they were some radical religious
> movement which believed in terrorism and holy war.  But I learned
> that this isn't the case for many Muslims; in fact, many of you
> denounce (or at least don't agree with) what the extremists do.
> Similarly, while I respect your ability to make decisions about
> your religious beliefs and your conversion to Islam, I just want
> to let you know that many Christians (like myself and other blind
> Christians) don't believe what your family members believe.  I
> have never run into problems at my church with Christianity and
> blindness, and I don't think a lot of Christians believe that
> blindness is unbearable.  Well, let's just point out that many
> members of the sighted public, regardless of their religion,
> believe that blindness is unbearable.  The only time I ran into
> any problems with misconceptions about blindness and religion
> together was when I was on an O and M lesson in my hometown this
> summer and a really elderly gengleman came up to us (my
> instructor and I) just as I was preparing to cross the street,
> (he scared me a little) and started asking my teacher (like she
> was supposed to be speaking for me) if I wanted to be put on his
> church's prayer list.  Thankfully, she told him that he could ask
> me and that I was old enough to make those kinds of decisions on
> my own.  When he (reluctantly enough) finally asked me, I
> answered, "Thank you for the consideration, but why exactly do
> you want to pray for me? I'm not sick, nor am I in some kind of
> emotional trouble." He answered that he wanted to pray for me
> because I was "um...  unsighted" and he wanted Jesus to "heal"
> me.  Then, once again turning to my teacher, he asked, "How long
> has he been that way?" That's right, "that way!" He couldn't even
> bring himself to say the word blind, lest the mere mention of the
> word offend me, even when he knew I was travelling and
> functioning pretty independently and confidently, and seemed to
> have no problem whatsoever with the fact that I was blind! She
> then prompted him once again to talk to me, and he asked me the
> question.  Politely enough, I answered "I was born blind,"
> putting a little emphasis on the word blind.  Starting to stare
> at me in what was probably wonder at my independence, he said,
> "You're born that way! Well, that's something! Well we'll pray
> for you!" I thanked him for the prayer, and said that "if you put
> me on your prayer list, I hope you will also pray that sighted
> people will see that blind people can be on terms of equality
> with them, and that we're just as capable as them, although we
> might do things differently.  If sighted people see this, then I
> pray that there will be no more discrimination against the blind
> just because we're blind." I didn't say those exact words, but it
> was pretty much the same.  So there you have it.  Misconceptions
> rear their ugly head yet again, and I hope I got the point
> across.  To close, I will say this; you've probably heard the old
> saying "Agitate, agitate, agitate." Well, for us, it's "Educate,
> educate, educate!"
>
> Chris
>
>  ----- Original Message -----
> From: Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing
> list<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Tue, 01 Nov 2011 21:53:36 -0600
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness vs.  Other Minority Groups
>
> Try being Blind, Muslim, and Somali.  I converted to Islam and
> associate with Somalis, who are viewed as "violent, bombers,
> people who just want to absolutely throw you into a ditch."  Not
> that anyone has ever said that.  But the news views Somalis as
> "confidants of Al Shabbab" and so on.  Deq, my Somali friend, is
> so sweet, and so intelligent, I forget about the whole Somali
> thing.  Being a Muslim is not a bad dea at all.  Jedi, I see what
> you've got in the "unusual religion" category.  I don't think
> your stuff is too unusual.  Your religion could be categorized as
> "super Buddhism".  My religion could be classified according to
> interpretations of the Quran.  To those who practice
> Judaeo-Christian heritage, I don't think it's a bad heritage.
> I've been there.  But I didn't feel it was appropriate because
> the charismmatic Christians in my family didn't feel that
> blindness is something bearable.  Islam believes that if you
> "suffer", or if you really are suffering from mental illness or
> blindness, then if you are also patient with what you have, then
> you are bound for Heaven or Paradise as we call it.  Being blind
> AND a Muslim is a bad idea in some states like Florida, but not a
> bad idea in Colorado, where the Somali population is third
> largest only to one other state ad Minnesota.  I don't remember,
> uh, I think it was Maine I was thinking of.  I'm not Somali
> myself, but since Deq is a Somali, people tend to say things that
> aren't so nice about him, blind or otherwise.  I usually stop and
> defend him.
> Beth
>
>  ----- Original Message -----
> From: Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:27:07 -0400
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness vs.  Other Minority Groups
>
> Arielle,
>
> I think you're right that speaking about blindness in such a
> negative
> way is no different than speaking about other minorities in this
> fashion.  I think the problem is twofold.  First, people honestly
> feel
> that they are being kind to us, but they understand on some level
> that
> negative comments about other minorities are not kind; most
> people
> don't understand how their kindness impacts us.  The other
> problem
> is
> that, up to this point, we haven't spoken with a clear voice on
> the
> matter of how we're treated by the sighted.  Yes, there are our
> banquet
> speeches and our public announcements, but we're pressured into
> everyday politeness by both blind and sighted persons so much
> that
> we're afraid to tell the sighted how their so-called kindness
> really
> impacts us; the end result is that the sighted have no idea how
> we
> really feel about their behavior and we continue to have the same
> old
> issues we've had forever.  Other minorities have done a much
> better job
> of voicing their frustrations than we have on an interpersonal
> level.
> We've conditioned ourselves into thinking that we owe the sighted
> some
> form of special courtesy since we're so afraid that they're going
> to
> judge us all based on the reactions of one person.  If you want
> evidence, consider "Don't Throw the Nickel" and "The Nature of
> Independence."
>
> Let me say now what I've personally decided to do when it comes
> to this
> very issue.  I stressed myself out to the point of needing
> counseling
> over whether or not the sighted would judge all of us based on my
> actions; I stressed out because i was afraid of how the rest of
> you
> might judge me if you ever found out about how I handled this or
> that
> interaction.  That's a hell of a lot of pressure! I personally
> internalized the frustrations of all of us and this obsessive
> need to
> educate the sighted.  I felt it was my responsibility to be an
> ambassador for the blind.  I'm not kidding when I tell you that I
> emotionally hurt myself and physically drained my personal
> resources.
> After a lot of soul-searching and some professional help, I've
> decided
> to abdicate my role as ambassador for the blind unless I
> willingly put
> myself in that position (e.g.  a meet the blind month activity or
> presentation on blindness).  I have also abdicated my role as the
> educator.  I've decided to stop dialoguing with the sighted
> through
> education and I've decided to start educating through dialogue.
> This
> needs explaining.  If a sighted person says "You do so well that
> I
> forget you're blind," I say (if I think it's important enough),
> "I feel
> stuck when I hear you say that I'm so good at X that you forget
> that
> I'm blind.  First, I feel forced to thank you for what you
> perceived to
> be a compliment because, if I don't thank you, I'm the rude one
> here.
> But at the same time, I feel hurt that you would say something
> like
> that because I hear you saying that you don't expect me to do so
> well
> because I'm blind and so are surprised, or that you somehow think
> that
> I'm better than whatever image you've created of me and my blind
> friends.  This isn't to say that I don't recognize your attempt
> at
> kindness, but I'd rather you tell me that you appreciate
> something I'm
> good at because I'm good at it, not because I seem to go beyond
> an
> expectation I perceive you've set for me." Use whatever words you
> like
> folks.  If you're genuinely grateful for the comment, say so.  If
> you're
> angry, say so.  But for goodness sake, don't just be quiet
> because
> you're expected to be polite.  This is a great way to stack these
> things
> up in your heart.  And if you can't say whatever you need to say
> to the
> person you need to say it to, find someone to say it to like a
> friend
> or a colleague who understands you.  Put it in an e-mail message
> or
> whatever you need to do.  That's what other minorities have been
> doing
> with comments like this, and I don't understand why we've not
> caught on
> except that we somehow seem to think we don't deserve this kind
> of
> equality.  And you know what, some sighted people won't get it no
> matter
> what you do or say.  But some will, and they'll appreciate your
> heart-felt honesty a hell of a lot more than whatever platitude
> you offer.
>
> Arielle, you asked some of us to talk about our other minority
> statuses
> if we have them.  I fit into the "unusual religious belief"
> category,
> and my legal name reflects that fact.  Some of you may know how
> much
> crap I've received from some regarding my preference to be called
> "Jedi" rather than my given name "Jennifer." I learned the hard
> way
> that going along to get along is a terrible choice.  by going
> along to
> get along, I felt like some part of myself wasn't being heard.
> And if I
> fought against the tide of people telling me what to call myself,
> I
> felt like my words and reasons were falling into nothingness,
> even by
> people who cared about me but couldn't understand how important
> this
> preference was to me.  So finally, i decided that I need to
> respect
> myself, especially because i wasn't getting much from others in
> this
> respect.  So I changed my name legally and now it's no problem.
> I'm sure
> some people were disappointed in me for whatever reason.  But I
> think
> they learned to respect me more as a person because I stood up
> for
> myself and didn't ask their permission to be who and what I am.
> I
> think
> the sighted are the same way.  Maybe dramatic demonstrations such
> as
> mine aren't required in every situation, but I think we need to
> be
> ready for those times when they are.
>
> So in short, when you find yourself in a situation where a
> sighted
> person has said or done something to you, think about how that
> really
> makes you feel inside.  And if it's important to you, make it a
> point to
> say whatever it is you feel you need to say.  And since the rest
> of us
> aren't with you when you're going through this process, none of
> us have
> the right to judge you for whatever you do because we might have
> done
> the same had we been in your shoes.  And if we really support
> each
> other
> and our collective bid for freedom, we shouldn't judge you
> anyway.  Only
> you know what's right for you in how you deal with the sighted,
> and
> your experiences will tell you if any changes are needed to your
> approach.  As to the reactions of the sighted, realize that
> they'll get
> over it; they're just as resilient as we are, and someone might
> actually take what you have to say to heart, I've heard it happen
> before and I've witnessed it myself.  And really folks, we can't
> expect
> ourselves to represent all of us all of the time.  We are a
> people's
> movement, yes.  But first and foremost, we are people.
>
> If what I say feels right to any of you, let's get in contact
> because
> I'm working on some workshops in which ideas like these can be
> further
> explored and spread to the Federationists who are interested in
> this
> kind of thing.
>
> Thanks for asking the question, Arielle.  It's high time someone
> did.
>
> Respectfully,
> Jedi
> Original message:
>  Warning-this topic has the potential to start a heated debate,
> but I
>  also think it is an interesting and important topic for us as
> blind
>  people to think about.
>  Lately I have been thinking a lot about how the problems faced
> by the
>  blind are similar to or different from those faced by other
> minority
>  groups in this country historically and in the present.  More
> than
>  that, I have been thinking about how the general public sees us
> as a
>  group in comparison to how they view other minority groups.  It
> has
>  struck me that oftentimes members of the general public treat us
> in
>  discriminatory ways or stereotype us without even considering
> that
>  this kind of treatment resembles stereotyping and discrimination
>  against other minority groups.
>  Let me give a concrete example.  In his book Freedom for the
> Blind, Jim
>  Omvig writes of a time when he was directing a training center
> and a
>  female staff member at the center commented, "You do your job so
> well,
>  sometimes I forget you're blind!" Seeing the teachable moment,
> Mr.
>  Omvig brought up this incident to his students during a
> philosophy
>  class, and to illustrate his point he said to the woman, "You
> are such
>  a good teacher, sometimes I forget you're a woman!" From what I
>  recall, the staff member got a bit upset and insisted that "no,
> what I
>  said about you being blind was very different from what you said
> about
>  my being a woman.  I was just trying to give you a compliment!"
>  Now, as blind people most of us understand the problem with her
>  comment-the implication that being blind must not be very good,
> so
>  someone who does a good job isn't like other blind people.  To
> me
> this
>  sounds like the same problem as making the analogous comment to
> a
>  woman-but she didn't see it that way.  Why not? Is there a
> difference
>  here?
>  I have often been quite frustrated when people I know and
>  trust-friends or family members, who have very liberal views
> about
>  race, would never utter a racial slur or support discrimination
>  against racial minorities, women, gays etc.  who nonetheless
> have
> no
>  qualms about saying negative things about blindness.  Like
> saying
> blind
>  people are all worse than the sighted at something, or that
> blind
>  people are more dependent or less successful than the sighted,
> etc.
>  They will sometimes say these things to my face and don't
> understand
>  why I don't like to hear these things.  Sometimes family members
> will
>  make comments comparing me favorably to other blind people.
> They
> think
>  they are giving me compliments, and fail to understand that I
> don't
>  want to hear negative things spoken about the blind as a
> collective.
>  Yet these same people would never tell an African American that
> they
>  are "smart for a black person" etc.  I remember during the
> protests
>  against the Blindness film in 2008, I was perplexed by how many
> people
>  just didn't get it, and didn't see what harm the film could
> do-and yet
>  an analogous film where everyone developed black skin or female
>  anatomy with such dire consequences would never be accepted in
> our
>  modern society.  And finally, in my research, I have observed
> that the
>  college students in my experiments have no problem saying on a
> survey
>  that the blind are much less competent than the sighted, yet
> would
>  never say such things directly about another minority group-in
> fact,
>  lots of fancy indirect measures have been developed to tap those
>  attitudes because people nowadays are so unwilling to admit
> their
>  prejudices, unless it's toward the blind.
>  So, what's up? Are stereotypes about the blind somehow more
> accurate
>  than stereotypes about ethnic minorities? Is discrimination
> against
>  the blind somehow more justified? Or is it just that we are such
> a
>  small group that we haven't developed the same history, had the
> same
>  scale of civil rights activism, etc.  to raise people's
> awareness? Do
>  you guys think we deserve the same considerations as other
> minorities
>  in this country? If not, am I missing something? If so, how do
> we get
>  members of the public to see this?
>  Also, as an aside, I'm curious to hear from those of you who are
> "dual
>  minorities" being both blind and a member of a minority group in
> this
>  country (ethnicity-wise, or a different group like GLBT,
> uncommon
>  religious beliefs etc.) How do you think your two identities are
>  similar? Different? Do you feel they interact with one another?
>  I look forward to the discussion.
>  Best,
>  Arielle
>
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