[nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision

Brian Hatgelakas brian.hatgelakas at verizon.net
Sun Mar 25 21:20:23 UTC 2012


Exactly Jeff good thinking!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "jeff crouch" <jeffanel at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, March 25, 2012 10:11 AM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision


>I agree with both statements, yes the muturity level is down for alot
> of teenagers, but it still can be fun to have thoughs like 5 month
> deels, but i totaly agree, wait untill i get in to college
>
> On 3/25/12, Ignasi Cambra <ignasicambra at gmail.com> wrote:
>> I don't see anything wrong with dating during high school. It was fun!!!
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Mar 25, 2012, at 7:17 AM, Brian Hatgelakas
>> <brian.hatgelakas at verizon.net> wrote:
>>
>>> @Jeff my advice to you is wait until college to start dating. I did this
>>> and am very happy I did.    By doing this the women by the time you 
>>> enter
>>> college will be much more mature and accepting of your blindness
>>> situation. Right now as a teenager make friends and don't get caught up 
>>> in
>>> something you know won't last.  Because at your age its mostly figuring
>>> out who you are and that's the same for girls.  Good luck in your 
>>> studies
>>> and don't worry as you get older your chance to date will be hear before
>>> you know it.
>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "jeff crouch" <jeffanel at gmail.com>
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Saturday, March 24, 2012 7:11 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>>
>>>
>>>> ah, it must be nice being of legal age, but i am 15, and I would like
>>>> to be in a releasonship, but the practicablity of this happening is
>>>> slim, with school, and extra crickler activatives things would not
>>>> really work out, but as i said, it would be nice.
>>>>
>>>> in a onist way of putting it, from a adault point of view, it would be
>>>> pointless for me to get in a releationship because it is just over
>>>> reactive hormons that would get in the way and then after a wile
>>>> things would simmer down, and hear that person go's, on the hunt
>>>> again.
>>>>
>>>> this is my point of view
>>>>
>>>> but i think you would have good luck in the online dating world, but
>>>> as one of the posters said, becareful, i know from experence, my
>>>> friend did that online stuff, and then well to putt it i have not seen
>>>> her for quite some years, she went missing, so be careful
>>>>
>>>> don't mean to sound like a dad, lol
>>>>
>>>> every one have a good day, and if anyone needs to contact me, you can
>>>> email me at
>>>> jeffanel at gmail.com
>>>> or
>>>> kd8qiq at arrl.net
>>>>
>>>> with love and respect
>>>> Jeff Crouch
>>>>
>>>> On 3/24/12, Amy Sabo <amylsabo at comcast.net> wrote:
>>>>> Hello doug,
>>>>>
>>>>> Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials with you and mellissa. I'm
>>>>> sooo
>>>>> happy for the both of you! Here's wishing you both good health and
>>>>> happiness.
>>>>>
>>>>> Take care and, I will talk to you soon.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Hugs,
>>>>> amy
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>>> Behalf
>>>>> Of Doug Oliver
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 8:05 PM
>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>>>>
>>>>> we are.
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Beth" <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>
>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 8:28 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Doug, good luck with your fiancee.  I hope the two of you are
>>>>> still working.
>>>>> Beth
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Doug Oliver" <oliver.doug1 at gmail.com
>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Date sent: Thu, 22 Mar 2012 19:54:51 -0500
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm gonna way in on this topic.
>>>>> My fiancee is actually sited and I'm blind, she's been around
>>>>> blind people
>>>>> growing up, so she's very much accustomed to dating a blind
>>>>> person.
>>>>> We've met in person twice and it's been great.
>>>>> Take care,
>>>>> Doug
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Ashley" <cumbiambera2005 at gmail.com
>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 7:42 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Hello all,
>>>>> Like some of the people who have posted already, I have had my
>>>>> own
>>>>> experiences with dating, as well as simply meeting people online.
>>>>> As a
>>>>> matter of fact, my current boyfriend is someone I met online, and
>>>>> he
>>>>> is blind as well. We have been dating a little over a year now,
>>>>> and I
>>>>> have also had the chance to meet him in person. I can say that
>>>>> some of
>>>>> what we've been through, especially when we met, was both good
>>>>> and
>>>>> bad, and even though he is blind, it was a little more disastrous
>>>>> because of his family who are sighted. Well the first time we
>>>>> actually
>>>>> got to "see" each other was through a webcam, and both families
>>>>> were
>>>>> present, not only for descriptive purposes but also because of us
>>>>> being long distance, and it was the only way the two families
>>>>> could
>>>>> meet. About 6 months later I got to visit him in person, and that
>>>>> was
>>>>> a little weird because he lives in another country, and a part of
>>>>> another culture, and that in itself brings its own barriers. I
>>>>> actually stayed at his house with his family, and I imagine it
>>>>> was
>>>>> hard on them because they've never dealt with another blind
>>>>> person
>>>>> besides him, and he is not as independent as I am. I have also
>>>>> met
>>>>> sighted people online, but I did not meet them through dating
>>>>> sites. I
>>>>> met them through pages we both visit, (blogs, etc), and in my
>>>>> opinion,
>>>>> that's better because you're actually meeting people you have
>>>>> things
>>>>> in common with, regardless of whether you date or not, and like
>>>>> most
>>>>> people have said already, one of the main things to consider when
>>>>> dating someone, blind or sighted, is what kinds of things you
>>>>> share in
>>>>> common with the other person. I personally have never dated a
>>>>> sighted
>>>>> person, but I have made some interesting friends online who are
>>>>> sighted. Some know I'm blind, and some do not, but not because I
>>>>> haven't wanted to tell them. I don't meet these people in person
>>>>> mainly because most of them are not from the U.S. and therefore
>>>>> it
>>>>> really hasn't come up. Besides, I'm not as close to them, and we
>>>>> mainly talk about music, which is what i have in common with most
>>>>> of
>>>>> these people I meet anyway. I have also met blind friends online,
>>>>> and
>>>>> basically the same goes for them. So as most people have already
>>>>> said,
>>>>> I don't think it's that much different dating a sighted person
>>>>> from a
>>>>> blind person. A blind person might be a little more understanding
>>>>> considering they go through some of the same things. But on the
>>>>> other
>>>>> side, that may not always be the case, if the person isn't
>>>>> completely
>>>>> adjusted to their blindness, or they have been with their family
>>>>> their
>>>>> entire life, and don't really understand the independence issue
>>>>> such
>>>>> as in my case. So I think dating both blind and sighted people
>>>>> can
>>>>> have their ups and downs, and it's just a matter of knowing how
>>>>> to
>>>>> handle each situation as it comes. Good luck.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On 3/22/12, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>> I have a little experience with online dating, but not much. I
>>>>> was on
>>>>> a dating site for a year or so and chatted with a few guys but
>>>>> didn't
>>>>> find anyone I actually wanted to meet in person. I have a lot of
>>>>> friends (sighted and blind) who do online dating and I've heard
>>>>> the
>>>>> whole gamut, from happily-ever-after marriages to disastrous
>>>>> first
>>>>> dates and a few people who walked away after my friend's
>>>>> blindness was
>>>>> revealed online. It really doesn't hurt to try it. If you do
>>>>> find
>>>>> someone you like and want to meet, it's best to meet them in a
>>>>> public
>>>>> place. But there's nothing dangerous about just putting a
>>>>> profile up
>>>>> and seeing what happens.
>>>>> Some dating sites are free and others charge a fee for joining.
>>>>> Interestingly, the site I used was free, and when I was visiting
>>>>> my
>>>>> sister and her roommate they were checking out one of the paid
>>>>> sites.
>>>>> I told them about the free site I was on and they looked at it
>>>>> and
>>>>> said they thought the guys on the free site were a lot more
>>>>> attractive
>>>>> and appealing than the guys on the paid one. So it's possible
>>>>> the
>>>>> people you might meet on a free site are less "desperate" and
>>>>> hence
>>>>> are better catches.
>>>>> I'm sure there's a lot of debate about when to reveal blindness
>>>>> during
>>>>> an online dating encounter. Some people put it in their
>>>>> profiles,
>>>>> others wait until the first meeting and still others reveal it
>>>>> at some
>>>>> point in the middle. I'd tend to treat it like a job interview
>>>>> and
>>>>> reveal blindness after I've connected with someone online but
>>>>> before
>>>>> we meet in person so they aren't totally shocked or freaked out
>>>>> when
>>>>> they see me. Unfortunately rejections due to blindness can
>>>>> happen at
>>>>> any point in the process. You'll have to decide whether you
>>>>> would
>>>>> prefer to take that risk earlier on or to give them a chance to
>>>>> get to
>>>>> know you before they learn about your blindness.
>>>>> Regarding dating blind vs. sighted people: Like many of us I
>>>>> have done
>>>>> both. I never consciously decided that I wanted to date a blind
>>>>> person
>>>>> or a sighted person, and I would not recommend that line of
>>>>> thinking.
>>>>> I simply dated guys with whom I felt a connection and who felt
>>>>> the
>>>>> same way toward me, regardless of whether or not they were
>>>>> blind. I
>>>>> will say that in some ways establishing the initial relationship
>>>>> was
>>>>> easier with blind guys, because I didn't have to wonder about
>>>>> what
>>>>> nonverbal signals they were sending or how they might interpret
>>>>> my
>>>>> nonverbal signals. However, when I try to compare the
>>>>> relationship I
>>>>> have had with my sighted boyfriend over the past three years
>>>>> with the
>>>>> other relationships I have had with blind guys, I really can't
>>>>> think
>>>>> of any major differences. I do think that regardless of
>>>>> blindness
>>>>> status, it's important for you and your partner to share
>>>>> interests and
>>>>> passions in common. NFB and blindness are passions that many of
>>>>> us
>>>>> share, and they help bring many blind couples together. However,
>>>>> there
>>>>> are other interests or passions you may share with sighted folks
>>>>> around you, and finding a partner who shares one of those
>>>>> passions
>>>>> with you can be similarly rewarding. In other words, instead of
>>>>> deciding who to date based on whether they are sighted or blind,
>>>>> I
>>>>> think it's more helpful to choose based on how much you share in
>>>>> common with them. I know that for us blind folks it can be hard
>>>>> to
>>>>> meet and connect with people at bars or large gatherings like
>>>>> singles'
>>>>> parties. But if you can find communities of people that share
>>>>> your
>>>>> interests-whether that be your local NFB chapter or student
>>>>> division,
>>>>> classes, church groups or clubs you might be in-that's a much
>>>>> better
>>>>> way to build lasting connections.
>>>>> Arielle
>>>>>
>>>>> On 3/22/12, Nimer M. Jaber, ICł <nimerjaber1 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Oops, I missed a point: I wouldn't go to an NFB convention
>>>>> simply for
>>>>> the dating scene. I'm sure relationships do develop at things
>>>>> like
>>>>> that, however most people are going to be preoccupied with
>>>>> general
>>>>> sessions, exhibits, orientation around a huge massive hotel, etc
>>>>> etc
>>>>> to really pay attention to who's around them for dating.
>>>>>
>>>>> Later.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 22.03.2012, Nimer M. Jaber, ICł <nimerjaber1 at gmail.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>> Hello Robin,
>>>>>
>>>>> Or you could just go ahead and do the online dating thing and
>>>>> learn
>>>>> from it. It has turned out well for some, and not so well for
>>>>> others.
>>>>> As for the sighted vs. blind thing, I would ask what you want.
>>>>> Not
>>>>> dating a blind person simply because you think you'll look cool
>>>>> and
>>>>> more independent for dating a sighted person will limit your
>>>>> options,
>>>>> just like not dating a sighted person because you're afraid of
>>>>> being
>>>>> rejected is crazy as well. We're all individuals. Many blind
>>>>> people
>>>>> have underlying disabilities, some may not be adjusted to their
>>>>> blindness completely, etc but you wouldn't have to
>>>>> necessarily
>>>>> feel self-conscious about the blindness issues, your appearance,
>>>>> etc
>>>>> etc. Sighted people in my experience are going to ask many
>>>>> questions.
>>>>> Especially at first, you'll probably have to do a whole lot more
>>>>> educating than dating, and it might get annoying, but many are
>>>>> willing
>>>>> to learn and it could work out. As for good dating sites ... why
>>>>> not
>>>>> just getting onto the social networks like Facebook and put your
>>>>> status as single? Maybe attend some of the singles conferences
>>>>> that
>>>>> are out there? And if someone interests you, then go after them
>>>>> (whether online or not).
>>>>>
>>>>> Anyway, talk to you later and peace. May you have much luck with
>>>>> your
>>>>> dating search.
>>>>>
>>>>> Nimer J
>>>>>
>>>>> On 22.03.2012, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>> Also, it has been proven, that there are people on chat sites,
>>>>> that
>>>>> pretend to be something, to get your attention, and then when
>>>>> you meet
>>>>> them, they're a criminal.
>>>>> Be careful, and meet people one on one, and in person.
>>>>> Come to the NFB convention, and you might meet someone, and oh
>>>>> yes,
>>>>> there are sighted members in the NFB, as well!
>>>>> Blessings, Joshua
>>>>>
>>>>> On 3/22/12, Gloria G <gloria.graves at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Hi,
>>>>> I have never gone on to any of the online dating sites, but I
>>>>> would be
>>>>> very
>>>>> careful because a person online is not as friendly or charming
>>>>> as they
>>>>> appear to be over emails. I have dated very few blind people and
>>>>> find
>>>>> that
>>>>> there is always a focus on blindness in the relationship and I
>>>>> feel
>>>>> that
>>>>> is
>>>>> a negative thing at times because we all live with blindness on
>>>>> a
>>>>> daily
>>>>> basis and want to know we are more than our blindness. I have
>>>>> found
>>>>> there
>>>>> are a lot of people open to dating a blind person especially
>>>>> when they
>>>>> are
>>>>> confident and out going. I have been in a relationship with a
>>>>> sited
>>>>> person
>>>>> for 3 years and things are wonderful.
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Robin" <robinmel71 at earthlink.net
>>>>> To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>> Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 4:47 PM
>>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Dating & Sighted-Blind-Low Vision
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Hello to everyone,
>>>>> I am just wondering if anyone has had any experience with online
>>>>> dating
>>>>> and if so what sites would you recommend? What experiences have
>>>>> you
>>>>> had
>>>>> with dating sighted people vs dating blind people? I look
>>>>> forward to
>>>>> hearing your stories.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad.
>>>>> Perhaps
>>>>> there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague,
>>>>> like a
>>>>> breeze
>>>>>
>>>>> among flowers.
>>>>> Hellen Keller
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Nimer Jaber, ICł and Freedom Scientific JAWS Certifications
>>>>>
>>>>> The message above is intended for the recipient to whom it was
>>>>> addressed. If you believe that you are not the intended
>>>>> recipient,
>>>>> please notify me via reply email and destroy all copies of this
>>>>> correspondence. Action taken as a result of this email or its
>>>>> contents
>>>>> by anyone other than the intended recipient may result in civil
>>>>> or
>>>>> criminal action. I have checked this email and all corresponding
>>>>> attachments for security threats. However, security of your
>>>>> machine is
>>>>> up to you. Thanks.
>>>>>
>>>>> Registered Linux User 529141.
>>>>> http://counter.li.org/
>>>>> Vinux testing and documentation coordinator
>>>>> To get more information about a free and accessible operating
>>>>> system,
>>>>> please click here:
>>>>> http://www.vinuxproject.org
>>>>>
>>>>> To find out about a free and versatile screen reader for windows
>>>>> XP
>>>>> and above, please click here:
>>>>> http://www.nvda-project.org
>>>>>
>>>>> You can follow @nimerjaber on Twitter for the latest technology
>>>>> news.
>>>>>
>>>>> Check out my blog related to technology by clicking here:
>>>>> http://nimertech.blogspot.com
>>>>>
>>>>> To contact me, you can reply to this email or you may call me at
>>>>> (720)
>>>>> (251-4530) and I will do my best to respond to you promptly.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Nimer Jaber, ICł and Freedom Scientific JAWS Certifications
>>>>>
>>>>> The message above is intended for the recipient to whom it was
>>>>> addressed. If you believe that you are not the intended
>>>>> recipient,
>>>>> please notify me via reply email and destroy all copies of this
>>>>> correspondence. Action taken as a result of this email or its
>>>>> contents
>>>>> by anyone other than the intended recipient may result in civil
>>>>> or
>>>>> criminal action. I have checked this email and all corresponding
>>>>> attachments for security threats. However, security of your
>>>>> machine is
>>>>> up to you. Thanks.
>>>>>
>>>>> Registered Linux User 529141.
>>>>> http://counter.li.org/
>>>>> Vinux testing and documentation coordinator
>>>>> To get more information about a free and accessible operating
>>>>> system,
>>>>> please click here:
>>>>> http://www.vinuxproject.org
>>>>>
>>>>> To find out about a free and versatile screen reader for windows
>>>>> XP
>>>>> and above, please click here:
>>>>> http://www.nvda-project.org
>>>>>
>>>>> You can follow @nimerjaber on Twitter for the latest technology
>>>>> news.
>>>>>
>>>>> Check out my blog related to technology by clicking here:
>>>>> http://nimertech.blogspot.com
>>>>>
>>>>> To contact me, you can reply to this email or you may call me at
>>>>> (720)
>>>>> (251-4530) and I will do my best to respond to you promptly.
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> 73
>>>> kd8qiq
>>>> jeff crouch
>>>>
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>>
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>
>
> -- 
> 73
> kd8qiq
> jeff crouch
>
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