[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

[Desiree Oudinot]

On 9/9/12, wmodnl wmodnl <wmodnl at hotmail.com> wrote:
> I think this discussion calls for a new list.  A list for discussing these
> topics in the open.  Maybe, we can offer a FAQ page, with a search area for
> people to locate educational material, and local centers in there area.
> Finally, if I remember, there are confidential hotlines that individuals can
> call through local hospitals to ask these questions.  Dave, what do you
> think about the idea for adding a list for this topic?  We see a need for
> it, and a demand for correct information.
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
> On Sep 8, 2012, at 10:57 PM, "David Andrews" <dandrews at visi.com> wrote:
>
>> I don't know what the norms are at health centers, they didn't offer birth
>> control stuff when I was in school, back in early 70's.  You could go to
>> drugstore, and ask, what I always did.  And -- for what it's worth, I
>> remember some of my sighted fraternity brothers agonizing over how to
>> procure condoms.  And ... then there was the famous scene in  the movie
>> The Summer of '42.
>>
>> Dave
>>
>> At 10:39 PM 9/7/2012, you wrote:
>>> Hello,
>>> Bring a condom... I still haven't heard about condoms being offered in
>>> High schools, but Colleges do have free Condoms and lube in their health
>>> centers.
>>> I've never gone in to ask for a condom at one of those places, that is
>>> something I would like to hear experiences from other people on.
>>> Is there a tactful way of asking for a free condom at a health center? I
>>> can go and ask point blank, but that feels to me like I would be seen as
>>> the horny blind guy. Especially if I came in there every few months...
>>> Perhaps I can go in for a flue shot and when I finish if there is few
>>> people there, ask for a tour of the condoms?
>>> Or do people try and get their friends to go with them and show them
>>> around? I could also ask my mobility instructor to show me.
>>> Do people know what would be most socially acceptable?
>>> It is my opinion that a guy should not even consider having sex unless he
>>> has a condom. It's very much the man's responsibility to make sure he has
>>> protection for his gender.
>>>
>>> Does anyone also know of a good website to buy condoms and other things
>>> off of? I know my parents stopped using condoms before the internet
>>> really became big because my brother is 16. I doubt they are any help
>>> there...
>>
>>
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Hi,
You're right, I think a list for these topics is definitely a good
idea. There's the Blind Talk mailing list which is for general
discussion, and I guess things of this nature could be brought up
there, but I don't think that's the right place for it either. Here
are my suggestions for the guidelines of such a list that might cater
more towards young people and provide a comfortable place for these
discussions:
1. Restrict the age of participants so that members must be between
the ages of 13-21. Although I could see how 13 might be a bit young,
so perhaps 16 is a better compromise. The reason for the age
restriction is simple: young people feel more comfortable asking their
questions and sharing their concerns when there are no "parental" or
"authority" figures around. Of course, as an exception, the moderator
of such a list could be whatever age is necessary.
2. Discussions that would be appropriate to this new list could
include, but are not limited to:
A. dating, sex, and sexual health,
B. socializing, making friends, and dealing with awkward situations as
they relate to blindness,
C. questions related to taking care of oneself such as shaving,
applying makeup, cutting nails, and other basics of personal care that
teenagers and young people may want to know about, but have not either
gone to a training center to learn, or whose parents have protected
them to the point that they don't know how to do those things and are
seeking independent guidance, and:
D. emotional support for dealing with struggles with parents, issues
of privacy with health care providers and/or family, or any other
problem that may or may not be related to blindness that affects high
school or college students that is not related to academic life.
I see this type of forum as a support group, something like
teencentral.org, which is a site where teens write in for advice on
their problems, but of course is not blindness-related. There was also
the former teenadviceonline.org, which was a wonderful peer-support
group where teens asked their questions and other teen peer counselors
responded with advice. There is a definite void that needs to be
filled for an email list like this. If the NFB won't consider adding
this idea to its already comprehensive catalog, I must say I'm highly
considering creating the group myself. I've never moderated an email
list before, though, so I'm not sure what interfaces are accessible or
how to use them, like Yahoogroups or Google groups. I'm sure that if
there actually is interest in this idea, though, I could certainly
pick one and figure it out.