[nabs-l] NFB and Independence

[Sam Nelson]

Hi Arielle, 
 Thanks for sharing all this! It's a very  balanced perspective. My
therapist taught me this word today, dialectic. It means two  things that at
first seem opposite can exist at the same time. I think this illustrates
that. 
  And I agree with Robert. Considering the trade-offs involved is part of
making the decision to come here at least it  was for me. One sacrifice for
me for example, is that coming here I had to leave my cat behind. I honestly
don't know if I'll ever  see him again. If I had stayed in MA one option I
could have chosen was a  shared living program where I was matched with a
companion, sort of a one on one Friedman type thing. But  the matching
process might have taken a year or more and I absolutely could not have
waited that long at my parents and the sacrifice for different friends to
take me would have been too much on them and I also wouldn't want to put
that on them. 
 In shared living I would have been allowed to have pets. Here unfortunately
we aren't. However, sometimes it takes being creative. I have found a couple
of visiting pet therapy programs that take cats to places like Friedman and
am researching them in order to present a case to activities about having
them come here maybe a couple times a month or something. Especially if it's
free they'll probably do it. I could also go to an animal shelter to
volunteer though I worry about being possibly scratched by random cats that
might have diseases or something. I would think the pet therapy cats would
be healthy but you never know in a shelter. 
 Though they're rare I could one day get a service cat if I wanted to and
make the case that it helps with mental health issues I have. 
 I will say the spending money is a big thing for some people. But at least
for my personal situation even having less spending money is worth it. With
where I live providing food/ cleaning, and what we pay them covering
everything else, you  know electric/ rent/ all that, there isn't really much
I feel I need to buy. You learn to save, and sometimes unexpected and
amazing things happened. 
 Doing therapy type things is very important for me to have some kind of
emotional balance and outlits. In college I was used to being able to pay a
reasonable price for this and was fine with it. 
 I happened to write to a dance therapist  who's website I really resonated
with. I was just writing admiring her website. I said in passing that  I'd
probably work with her if I had the money. Because she's amazing she offered
me at first, three sessions for free. Because we connected so well, and
because she's so goodhearted  she's extended this to seeing me once a month.
In adition I found a place I can go to once a week with an intern for $10/
session which works for me. She's very good. So I feel things have a way of
working out in unexpected ways. 
 I do do my own laundry myself by the way, that I was taught to do and it
stuck. Other things I was sort of taught to do and they just didn't take
hold, like cooking. It was just  too anxiety producing I think for both me
and my family equally, you know the stove and the oven and all that. So I'm
good with the sacrifice of not being able to choose exactly what I want to
eat every day. At college my roomates and I really didn't clean the room
much. I really like having housekeeping services because at least I know
once a week everything will be nice and clean. And the housekeeper has this
cute accent and says "I love you honey," every time she  sees  me, and that
brightens my day! 
 I should say, if I haven't already, that within the community in different
ways the CNAS do encourage independence and doing things for ourselves. This
one CAN always bugs me about picking up my room. I know of a resident who
when he first got here had the CNAS take him everywhere around the building.
Eventually he's gotten to the point where he can go some places himself and
that's a big step for him. I know it probably doesn't seem like as much
training as  the training centers or other places, but I wanted to point it
is emphasized in some way. 
 I totally agree with you about offering more supportive living communities,
for all types of  populations being a good thing. I personally wouldn't say
that other populations need it more than the blind, but I can see from your
perspective how you would think of it like that. I do think more places need
to be out there, particularly for people with  mental health concerns. At
the moment in Chicago, many of these people are in psychiatric nursing
homes, that for the most part quite honestly sound like pretty terrible
places. And yet nothing gets done about this. One of my future projects is
discussing this with NAMI or some other related organization. So hopefully
one day we'll get there! 
 Again thanks for your thoughts. 
 Sam 

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Arielle
Silverman
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2013 11:09 PM
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Subject: [nabs-l] NFB and Independence

Hi all,
Kenneth Jernigan, who was president of the NFB for 18 years and had a huge
influence on the organization's philosophical approach to blindness, wrote a
speech titled "The Nature of Independence" which is available on the NFB
website. I won't post it here since it is quite long, but will just
summarize what I got out of hearing it. Jernigan talked about times when he,
as a blind man, would walk with sighted guides, such as holding the arm of
his secretary while walking with her and in conversation. He said that he
did this from time to time, not because he needed the help, but because it
was more convenient for both of them. He stated that one can accept
assistance from others and still remain independent. Specifically, he
defined independence as:
The ability to travel whenever you want, wherever you want, with a minimum
of inconvenience to yourself and others.

To me, that definition sounds similar to those that some of you are
espousing. I think before we bash the NFB too much on this point, we should
bear in mind where Jernigan was coming from. In fact, I think most if not
all of us in the NFB agree that independence is the freedom to choose when,
and what kind of help, to get. We can all be a little better about not
judging others who make different choices than what we would make, and some
judgmental folks have tainted the NFB's reputation in this regard. But I
really think we agree more than we disagree here.
I believe that all people can seek help with things and still remain
independent. But I also think that being blind, by itself, shouldn't change
our standard of independence. I personally like doing the same kinds of
things that other 28-year-olds do, so I don't want to be called super-blind
because I do typical things like living with my fiancee and sharing cooking
duties with him, or walking independently around campus. And I think that
whenever we do accept help with something, there is always a trade-off where
we have to give up something. Sometimes we have to pay for help, like paying
a taxi driver or a restaurant to cook our food. Sometimes it's a time
sacrifice, like having to wait for a ride or a guide in order to go
somewhere. Other times the sacrifices are more subtle losses of freedom,
like if we choose to live somewhere that makes rules about whether or not we
can have overnight guests. Sometimes the help we get is worth the sacrifice,
but other times it's not, because the inconvenience on ourselves or others
is too great. Finally, I believe that in order to make knowledgeable
decisions about what we really need help doing, and what we don't, we should
get decent training. If someone always has another person do their laundry
because they never tried doing it themself, they will never know how easy it
might be for them. If they try it, they might discover that actually it's
not worth the sacrifice and that they prefer doing it themself, but we never
know these things until we try them.
I personally think there are many sighted people, and some blind people, who
would benefit greatly from a supported living community like Friedman Place.
Offering these communities could really help make a dent in national crises
like homelessness, poverty and ccrime. I think there are many other
populations in this country who need a place like Friedman far more than
blind people do. And while I don't fault those who choose to go to Friedman,
I would submit that there are sacrifices and trade-offs involved. You get
low-cost housing, cooked food and companionship, but you lose control over
most of your spending money, have to sign out to leave the premises and the
hot date you bring home has to pass a background check. I think these are
small sacrifices, but I also think that living on one's own, and especially
getting training in daily living skills and job skills, gives us the
flexibility to handle all kinds of life situations, either on our own or
with assistance.
Best,
Arielle

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