[nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work... advice?

Sat Dec 28 13:22:17 UTC 2013

well I don't know the situation  to be able to say much but I feel
that  it sounds like to me anyway that she does not want to be helped
or except help  it becomes a things we it becomes the line where we
help those who help themselves. quite frankly you need to just go
ahead and block her number now and move on don't even put up with her
in 2014

On 12/28/13, Merlyn Hileman <merlyn_hileman at aol.com> wrote:
> Hi Kaiti,
>
>  From your description of how her parents interact with her, I don't
> think she has a cognitive disability (at least not one serious enough
> to have trouble telling right from wrong). It also sounds like you have
> done everything you can think of to help her. What I am going to
> suggest might sound harsh, but this girl needs to realize you don't
> want her calling you anymore.
> The next time she calls your home, whoever picks up--you or a family
> member), should tell her that you have done all you can to help her,
> that you have suggested help lines she can call, and that you cannot
> think of anything else to do for her. Then tell her plainly that she
> must stop calling your home. Tell her that if she continues to call,
> you will not answer the phone (assuming you have a caller ID feature on
> your phone). If you cannot tell who is calling until you answer, tell
> her you will block her number or change yours if she continues to call.
> Remind her of the numbers to call for the help lines, and hang up the
> phone.
> However you do it, you need to cut off communication with her. You have
> been patient for two years in high school, and your family has put up
> with her through almost two years of college. You need to move on with
> your life.
>
> Merlyn Hileman
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: I. C. Bray <i.c.bray at win.net>
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sat, Dec 28, 2013 5:49 am
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
> advice?
>
> Dave,
> It is not so much that it is illegal, but that it is potentially
> dangerous
> for Kaiti .
>
> Stalking isn't illegal-- except when you have been warned and placed
> under a
> court order, but we all agree it is somewhat unnerving.. NO?
>
> I hear where you're coming from, but the point I think is Kaiti is
> beginning
> to feel in over her head.
>
> Bless you for being sensitive, Kaiti, but sometimes you have to  be
> firm.
>
> Ian
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Dave Webster" <dwebster125 at gmail.com>
> To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 9:45 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
> advice?
>
>
> :I wouldn't go that far.  Per haps her parents know what she's doing.
> I
> mean
> : it was her parents that gave her the list of people anyhow.
> Authorities
> : won't do much sh'es not doing anything that's against the law.
> :
> : -----Original Message-----
> : From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lillie
> : Pennington
> : Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 6:10 PM
> : To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> : Subject: Re: [nabs-l] When NFB philosophy doesn't seem to work...
> advice?
> :
> : I hate to suggest this, but have you tried getting in touch with her
> parents
> : or other authorities in her area? This is sort of an extreme option
> but
> you
> : may need to take such actions.
> :
> : Sent from my iPhone
> :
> : > On Dec 27, 2013, at 8:46 PM, Kaiti Shelton
> <crazy4clarinet104 at gmail.com>
> : wrote:
> : >
> : > Hi,
> : >
> : > I tried mentioning the idea of getting help to her, and it made her
> : > upset.  She can get really mad at me when she thinks that I'm not
> : > taking her seriously or are avoiding talking to her.
> : >
> : > A lot of what she has told me about has been blindness stuff, but
> : > there are some odd social tendencies that she has too.  She had some
> : > issues with teachers in high school because she said they didn't
> take
> : > her seriously and weren't treating her like everyone else, and she
> : > also kept telling me that her "blind friends" that she made would
> stop
> : > talking to her.  Often she would tell me this while she was crying,
> so
> : > I couldn't understand what she was saying about the situation.  Then
> : > she told me her parents were going to make her see someone.  This
> was
> : > in my senior year of high school.  The last time I actually talked
> to
> : > her, things seemed pretty good.  She was saying she got a boyfriend,
> : > so I thought things would be going better.
> : >
> : > If she calls again I will offer her a help line number and see how
> : > that goes, but I'm wondering if she will take that advice since she
> : > was so opposed to therapy when I mentioned it to her in the past.
> : >
> : > I do think a lot of her problems stem from a combination of
> blindness
> : > issues and some social quirks, but I feel in those areas I've done
> and
> : > said all I know to.  I will try this again and see what she does.
> : >
> : >> On 12/27/13, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at gmail.com> wrote:
> : >> Yea.  I still at times don't know how to deal with girls.  I have a
> : >> tendency to move too fast at times when it comes to relationships.
>  I
> : >> don't mean to embarrass you or anything but I also have a bit of a
> : >> strange fettish which I've struggled with my whole life.  I've
> tried
> : >> to tlak to therpists about it but I've noto been able to get them
> to
> : >> help with it.  They don't want to touch it when it comes to talking
> : >> about it.  So.
> : >>
> : >> -----Original Message-----
> : >> From: nabs-l [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Beth
> : >> Taurasi
> : >> Sent: Friday, December 27, 2013 4:53 PM
> : >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> :
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