[nabs-l] Finding a niche in campus orgs

[Kaiti Shelton]

Hi all,

For the past 2 years I've struggled to find my place in organizations
on campus.  I felt the same way in high school, but here is my
situation now.

Freshman year I was in a club for my major, as well as a community
service fraternity.  I ended up leaving that fraternity at the end of
my freshman year because of a few things, but mainly because I felt
the chapter was run in a very beaurocratic style, and the same people
always did everything and never let those of us who were on the
outside do much.  The elections seemed more like a popularity contest,
with really personal digs made by current exec board members against
candidates who they did not want to see in future exec board
positions.  Though I didn't run for anything, even as an outsider, a
member just watching and casting my votes, it left a bitter taste in
my mouth.  If that was how it was going to be run, I didn't want to be
a part of the organization.

That spring semester I pledged another fraternity that I liked a lot
better.  This one is a professional organization more geared towards
my major.  It is smaller, and still does service, which I like.
However, I have increasingly felt like I am not a part of the group.
One of the main problems this year has been a lack of communication
and access to the google docs resources.  Of course, these things work
fine for the other 20 members of the chapter who are sighted, but they
do not work for me.  I feel that when I miss a piece of information
that was posted online, or when I don't know to do something because I
can't see it, people are like, "Well, she screwed up again," rather
than thinking, "Oh, I wonder if she didn't see it."

This all sounds much more bitter or dramatic than I really feel, but I
am a bit frustrated by this.  I have good ideas, and can do my job
very well if I know what is expected of me and have the accessibility
to do it.  However, with the google docs system, and the lack of
communication I receive from my sisters about visual things they just
pick up on naturally, I am unable to contribute in the way I want to.

I think my struggles with these things has also impacted me socially.
We had elections a few weeks ago, and I was the only junior who was
not elected to an exec board position.  I ran for 2, and really wanted
the recording secretary position.  I feel like the issues I had this
year have made me seem like I am uncapable of carrying out these
responsibilities to my sisters, when they really don't know my
situation and never asked.  I specifically chose to run for recording
secretary because I have particular experience with this position, and
I also know that the minutes are taken in Word Docs and member
standing is kept track in a spreadsheet.  I would have run into no
technological glitches whatsoever, so this position would have been
great for me.  I also gave up membership in other clubs and musical
ensembles in order to make time for an exec board position should I
have gotten one, so I'm thinking false social perceptions have gotten
in my way.

I also feel socially left out sometimes because not all members of the
chapter will talk to me.  I mean, I'm certainly not expecting to be
best friends with everyone, but some of them just don't even speak to
me, which isn't a good feeling.  And yes, I do try to speak to them.
They don't openly shun me, and it's not nearly that bad, but unless I
say something to them they won't say hi, or ask how I'm doing even
when we're sitting next to each other.  This is not just a chapter
issue; the people this happens with also don't really socialize with
me in classes, and I'm one of those awkward people who gets along more
with people who are older and younger than her than with students in
my year.

I really don't want to sound whiney, because that was not my intent at
all, but I'm wondering how people in similar situations got through
these issues.

-- 
Kaiti