[nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful

Linda Gwizdak linda.gwizdak at cox.net
Thu Feb 11 18:24:43 UTC 2010 

Hi Mark,
Welcome to the list!

I'm Lyn and I'm working my eighth guide, Landon.  He is a Lab/Golden cross 
from The Seeing Eye. We transplanted to San Diego about 21 years ago from 
Boston - we being my sister and I, not Landon and I! (grin!)

When I was in college in Boston, I had a friend who got her first guide dog 
between our two years of college - a junior college.  After getting the dog, 
she and I moved in together as roommates - and her new guide, a Golden 
retriever.

My roommate used her white cane for our first year of college and it worked 
out well for her so she knew the area first before getting the dog.  Our 
college was in the Back Bay section of Boston so thus no real campus. The 
dorms were up and down Commonwealth Ave and the classroom buildings were 
scattered around Commonwealth and Newbury Street.  After learning the campus 
with her cane, she was able to teach the dog where she would go.

The dog worked well and I was able to help with squirrel and pidgeon chasing 
as I had alot of sight at that time and I used no cane except for nighttime. 
My vision deteriorated so much, I took cane travel and got my first guide 
dog after I finished two years of college and I was in an apartment.  I had 
this dog when I finished my second two years several years later.  My own 
experience was very positive in my dorm situation.

My roommate did leave her dog in our room for meals - the dining hall was 
nextdoor to our dorm building.  She left the dog because it was very crowded 
in the dining hall and people would drop food on the floor. I was her guide 
in the dining hall.

People in the dorms were basically OK about the dog with the exception of a 
few morons who thought it was funny to shut the heavy dorm door on the dog's 
face.  Since this was back in 1971, I think students' awareness of 
disability and service dogs are better nowadays in a college setting.

Now, most colleges and universities have Disabled Students' Services 
offices, I'd contact the one at the college you plan on attending.  Ask 
about the presence of service or guide dogs on campus and see if the office 
can put you in contact with any of those students so you can see how campus 
life is on that campus with a service dog.  You can also see if having a dog 
will fit into your busy college life!  You can't just throw the dog into a 
corner and ignore it!  You have to keep it on a regular feeding and 
relieving schedule and make the time to take care of the dog.

As far as your parents, I don't think it would be all that productive to 
really force the issue of a guide while you are still a high school student 
and living at home.  All of the guide dog schools generally won't give a 
guide to a person who lives with people who are unwilling to have the dog in 
their home.  The insuing stress between you and your parents could affect 
the dog's tranquillity and comfort.  Guide dogs don't do well in an 
envirnment full of strife and stress.  It could really negatively impact you 
and your dog's bonding and working together.

I really think it would be good to either get the dog before school if you 
get an apartment or after you start school on your summer break.  Either 
way, you will not be living under your parents' roof and you will know where 
you'll be living and you know your new envirnment.

Many parents don't like to see their kids go off on their own. But, as you 
grow and mature and are living on your own, they'll come around.  And they 
will come around!

Good luck and hope to see you around on the list.  Let us all know what 
happens with your getting a guide dog.

Regards,

Lyn and Landon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mark J. Cadigan" <kramc11 at gmail.com>
To: "NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users" 
<nagdu at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 7:13 AM
Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful


> Thanks again for all of your suggestions. I will use the points made on 
> this list next time I talk to the parents. Any thoughts about 
> transitioning to college and a dog simultaneously?
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Joy Relton" <jrelton at verizon.net>
> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users'" 
> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, February 11, 2010 9:50 AM
> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>
>
>> Hi Mark,
>>
>> When I went to college I shared my suite with two other women but my room
>> was a single. Fortunately I was able to do this, but my reason for 
>> electing
>> this arrangement had to do with the amount of equipment and the type of
>> equipment that I used to study, not my dog. In those days, and I'm now
>> dating myself, we had reel-to-reel machines to use to read the books and 
>> all
>> other kinds of equipment like a typewriter, a Braille writer and more. 
>> There
>> weren't computers, Victor Reader Streams or any of that stuff and I 
>> thought
>> spreading all of my stuff all over the room and taking up more than my 
>> share
>> would be unfair. My dog, slept next to my bed in the center part of the
>> suite with the other two women and was never a problem. When I shared
>> apartments it was never a problem with my room mates. In fact, one of my
>> room mates went to the doctor and he asked her if there were any animals 
>> in
>> the apartment that she could be allergic to and she said no. Then the 
>> doctor
>> asked if she wasn't rooming with me and didn't I have a Seeing Eye Dog? 
>> She
>> said, oh I didn't even think of Vikki as a dog or any other animal. When 
>> it
>> was in the dorms or apartment buildings my friends all enjoyed my dog 
>> along
>> with me. There were rules about not petting while in harness but she 
>> enjoyed
>> many a game of ball down the halls of the dorm and traveled with me and 
>> my
>> friends everywhere. I have never had anyone tell me that my dogs were not
>> well groomed, or that they smelled and they've been welcome pretty much
>> anywhere that I have gone. If they weren't and it was a legal issue I
>> addressed it, if it was the other persons preference I let them deal with 
>> it
>> and didn't invade their space and ensured that they did the same with me.
>>
>> In fact, the last two dogs that I have had to put to sleep have been so 
>> well
>> accepted by my church that the members of the choir donated money toward
>> hymnals and made contributions to the Seeing Eye in their honor. I'd say
>> that was acceptance. I'm guessing that you'll work out your issues with 
>> your
>> parents when you let them see that you are an adult who is capable of
>> handling your life and your life decisions. Be gentle with your parents
>> though, as the song says "teach your children well, their children's hell
>> will slowly go by". In other words, it's probably premature to push the 
>> dog
>> issue since you don't know yet where you will be. In the mean time, 
>> collect
>> the facts and meet some folks in the area who are using dogs 
>> successfully.
>> Then, make your decision based on what's best for you and nicely inform 
>> your
>> parents. That's what my kids have done. We have the type of relationship
>> that my husband and I have always sought to ensure that they have the 
>> tools
>> to make their own decisions and the understanding that, if they make a
>> mistake they can come for help and support whether or not we agree with
>> their decision. Talking to your parents on some of these issues will go
>> further than talking to us, except for gathering information and facts. 
>> Good
>> luck.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf
>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 7:59 PM
>> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>>
>> Thanks all of you for your suggestions. I like both the Seeing Eye, and 
>> GDB.
>>
>> Ware as I live in MA the Seeing Eye is a lot closer. I am a junior in 
>> high
>> school so I haven't yet decided what college I will be attending. What I 
>> do
>> know, is I want to be in a big city with access to a good public transit
>> network such as the MBTA. I currently take the T to and from places all 
>> over
>>
>> Boston using my cane. Because of this independence I am having difficulty
>> explaining to my parents that a dog would only enhance it making me a 
>> more
>> competent, safer, and faster traveler. Have any of you ever experienced
>> complaints about your dog either shedding or smelling bad? Is this a 
>> problem
>>
>> with roommates in college? Like most teenagers my room is never clean for
>> long, but it is never that messy. I always take excellent care of all my
>> equipment, and don't see how the maintenance of a dog will be a problem. 
>> My
>> parents seem to have concerns of how I will maintain a dog in college. 
>> Any
>> thoughts?
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Albert J Rizzi" <albert at myblindspot.org>
>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:29 PM
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>
>>
>>> First, where are you located? Maybe there is a guide program in your
>>> area which would allow you to sort of host a dog for sometime until
>>> the guide is matched up with a handler. This would help to introduce
>>> your parents to the
>>> concepts  and strength having a guide could and would lend to your life.
>>> You
>>> could also let them know that their role in your life is to make you as
>>> completely independent as possible and that the introduction of a guide
>>> dog
>>> into your life would do just that. you could also play on their 
>>> sympathies
>>> by letting them know you are looking to be able to walk independently 
>>> with
>>> friends and thereby depend less on their eyes and more so on your own
>>> senses
>>> coupled with the security and independence a guide would lend to your
>>> life.
>>> Where are you intending on going to college? If you are hoping to go 
>>> away,
>>> your parents would need to understand  that a guide would help you to 
>>> move
>>> swiftly and securely through a campus ensuring your timely attendance to
>>> all
>>> your classes. Again, maybe a talk with a teacher/principal  might help
>>> advance your crusade.
>>>
>>> Albert J. Rizzi, M.Ed.
>>> CEO/Founder
>>> My Blind Spot, Inc.
>>> 90 Broad Street - 18th Fl.
>>> New York, New York  10004
>>> www.myblindspot.org
>>> PH: 917-553-0347
>>> Fax: 212-858-5759
>>> "The person who says it cannot be done, shouldn't interrupt the one
>>> who is doing it."
>>>
>>>
>>> Visit us on Facebook LinkedIn
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf Of Mark J. Cadigan
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:11 PM
>>> To: NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>
>>> Dan W,
>>>
>>> My mom claims to be terrified of dogs, but yet we have a pet dog.  My
>>> parents claim that a guide dog will smell, then I point out that if
>>> you take
>>>
>>> care of it properly it won't. Then I point out people we know with
>>> guide dogs that don't smell. My dad's response to this is to tell this
>>> story of his friend's son's roommate's friend had a roommate with a
>>> smelly guide dog.
>>>
>>> This happened so long ago, and is so far removed from the situation
>>> that I can't see how it possibly has any bearing on the current
>>> situation. Also that story is so convoluted that is impossible to
>>> verify. And the argument goes on and on Ad nauseam. It is getting to
>>> the point that I think they are just attempting to exorcize there
>>> ability to make arbitrary decisions.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Dan Weiner" <dcwein at dcwein.cnc.net>
>>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:33 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>
>>>
>>>> Well, first question is "Is the reason your parents don't support
>>>> your idea of getting a dog that they don't like dogs?"--smile.
>>>> Second of all, what is your parents objection, I mean presumably you're
>>>> the
>>>> one who's blind so maybe you might know a little better than they do
>>>> whether
>>>> a dog would enhance your lifestyle or not.
>>>> I'm fortunate that by the time I wanted a dog, my parents had figured 
>>>> out
>>>> I'd pretty much do what I wanted without permission, so my Dad just 
>>>> asked
>>>> one or two feeble questions and then left it alone.
>>>> He asked "Are you sure a dog will be worth the trouble, how do you know
>>>> it'll work out."
>>>> I explained that, never having a dog, a guide dog, that is,  I'd need 
>>>> to
>>>> find it out for myself and I really wanted to take care of the dog and
>>>> was
>>>> ready.
>>>> When I got home, he admired the dog enormously. But he asked the second
>>>> day
>>>> back home if the dog really had to go out with us to breakfast. I said 
>>>> it
>>>> did, when he seemed to balk I said "I love you Dad, and enjoy going 
>>>> out,
>>>> but
>>>> this is important to me and if you don't want my guide dog than I'm
>>>> afraid
>>>
>>>> I
>>>> won't be going".
>>>> Dead silence ensued, and the issue never came up again.  As a matter
>>>> of fact, my Dad adopted my first hound after he retired and loved
>>>> him.  The dog, Grant, even went to my Dad's funeral's The only thing
>>>> I wasn't really ready for was the access issues. Being the brilliant
>>>> young man I was--smile--it never occurred to me that people would
>>>> have issues with a dog, I mean access issues to public places.
>>>>
>>>> So, tell us more what the problem is and we'll be happy to talk about
>>>> it. There are some folks on this list who can be very good role
>>>> models and mentors, I wish there had been such a list when I started
>>>> out.  But, then I don't think there were such things as computer
>>>> lists--smile.
>>>>
>>>> Good luck
>>>>
>>>> Dan W. and the Carter Dog
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>>> Behalf
>>>> Of Mark J. Cadigan
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:17 PM
>>>> To: nagdu at nfbnet.org
>>>> Subject: [nagdu] Explaining to parents that guide dogs are useful
>>>>
>>>> Hello list,
>>>>
>>>> I am new to this list, and I am thinking of getting a guide dog for
>>>> when
>>>> I
>>>> go to college. The only problem I am having is convincing my parents 
>>>> that
>>>> a
>>>> guide dog is a useful mobility tool.  As you can probably guess, that 
>>>> is
>>>> a
>>>> large obstacle. I am currently in high school, so I have to abide by my
>>>> parent's wishes, or at least for now. What I am asking for is how best 
>>>> to
>>>> explain to them, that guide dogs are useful mobility tools, that will
>>>> enhance my independence rather than detract from it. I have given them
>>>> literature, DVDs and have attempted to talk to them. Any instructional
>>>> materiel finds its way into the circular file, and they change the
>>>> subject
>>>> when I talk to them. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
>>>>
>>>> Thanks
>>>> Mark
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