[nagdu] the bonding process

Tue Apr 3 19:08:47 UTC 2012

Hi.

Robert, I enjoyed hearing your story.

Brie did not want anything to do with me.  She gave me one sniff and
then sat by the door wining.  I was at a loss for what to do even
though I was warned about that happening.  So I just sat next to her
and talked to her.  I had music on my computer, so I sang too.
Eventually, she laid down and took a nap.  Even so, it took a while
for her to bond to me.  She is very rebelious, so it took a while to
gain her love.

Just give your dog your time and love.  Some dogs don't want to be
cuddled right off the bat.  Take your cues from the dog.  Good luck!

On 4/3/12, Tracy Carcione <carcione at access.net> wrote:
> Hi Robert.
> I enjoyed your meeting story very much.
> Echo too "squoke and squoke", even though she's a lab.  The evening of our
> meeting, I put some Gregorian chant on the radio and sat with her in her
> corner, stroking her and talking to her for a long time.  It was very
> calming for both of us.  She slowly settled down, and she's never really
> squeaked a lot since.
>
> Ben, on the other hand...It's Ben's nature to give the big Hello, then
> completely ignore a new person after a couple minutes.  He's really quite
> aloof--a shepherd or a cat in a labrador suit.  He ignored me pretty much
> for the whole class.  I only had an inkling he liked me a bit when the
> instructor took him away for a minute to get his solo picture taken, and
> he jumped on me when he came back.  Otherwise, he'd only play with me a
> couple minutes, and he'd lie as far away from me as he could when we were
> in our room or in the van. If I tried to sit and pet him, he'd flip the
> switch that turns him into a stuffed animal.
> I've had him five years now, and it's only been a couple years since he
> started coming to join me in my home office or wherever I happen to be.
> Before, and still often now, he stays comfortable in his favorite place.
> So every experience is different.  Though Ben is much the most aloof dog
> I've ever known.
> Tracy
>
>> Hello all interested:
>>
>> Reading the initial message on this thread reminded me of the day I
>> received Bailey. Everything from the intense, deliciously nauseating
>> sensation I had beforehand to the sweeping sense of glowing happiness and
>> confidence I felt shortly after the first swipe of his tongue across my
>> face; such a feeling I fear I won't feel again--as I suspect there is
>> nothing quite like the first dog. Anyway, I was so happy that as I was
>> leading him out of the room, I realized that I had forgotten his name--so
>> I sheepishly asked my instructor, needlessly fearing some sort of
>> reprimand in response to my woeful lack of memory. After repeating his
>> name and ushering me into my dorm, the "bonding" began. I say "bonding"
>> (with quotes) because in the first several minutes (or maybe the first few
>> hours) little bonding took place; however, I will be the first to say that
>> those first moments are the most important, as they are with any such
>> relationship.
>> 	THE SEEING EYE had given us lectures regarding the procedure--that's one
>> thing at which THE SEEING EYE excels--precision and repetition. Not only
>> did we have so much material hurled at us at break-neck speed, it was
>> repeated a comfortably insane amount. We were told what to
>> expect--whining, restless dogs; barking or yowling; unresponsiveness to
>> the human attempts to be friends; and numerous other disheartening (but
>> at the same time encouraging) scenarios. With all this in mind, you'll
>> remember that we left the original topic for a tangent; we now return to
>> my dorm room last July, just seconds after my instructor closed the door
>> to recommence the dog-dispensing rituals. I lead Bailey to his place, and
>> all seemed to be well. He had seemed to approve of me upon my
>> instructor's initial introduction of him, displaying that social quality
>> of his nature with which I am now all too familiar. Anyway, I sat with my
>> new friend and stroked him--soon after this began, the squeaking start
>>  ed. He squoke and he squoke, only letting up to sniff at various objects
>> in my room when I tried to distract him by giving him the grand tour.
>> Unfortunately, there's only so much one can show another about 70 square
>> feet of space excluding closet space, and soon we were back to square
>> one--that square of course being his square, the square of rubber-backed
>> carpeting which would become the new, if temporary, center of his
>> universe. He sat there and he just squoke endlessly, occasionally letting
>> out distressed yowls.
>> I felt for this poor animal--he who had been through so much--his mother,
>> his puppy raisers, and now his mistress was turning him over to a complete
>> stranger. As he sat, I wrapped my arms about him in a gentle hug, trying
>> to pass on my thoughts to him by gently whispering into his cocked
>> shepherd ear; telling him that one day, he would love me as I did him. I
>> then scratched behind his ears and continued whispering to him, the words
>> now probably nonsense syllables, meant to convey nothing beyond a soothing
>> tone. This quieted his squeaking and he eventually lay down. I continued
>> to sit with him, gently petting him and thinking of how lucky I was. Many
>> people thought it absurd when I told them that those two or three hours
>> alone with my dog were some of the best hours. I didn't move from Bailey's
>> side--not to send so much as a text message or email to my family and
>> friends who were eager to know who my new companion was. In fact, if I
>> recall correctly, they didn't find out until
>>   that evening. Bailey's squeaking continued to diminish throughout the
>> day, until he only occasionally squoke on the occasional exhale--it was
>> as though he wasn't really trying anymore (and believe me, in the
>> beginning he was trying--I heard him squeak whilst drinking water). I
>> looked at the whole relationship as a challenge--I was determined to win
>> his love, trust, and affection. Although I made amazing friends at THE
>> SEEING EYE, I still made sure that I devoted a significant portion of my
>> free time to the dog--going down to the grooming room or just playing a
>> fetch game with his Kong in the bedroom. It wasn't until the third day
>> of having him that he finally rolled over and presented me with his
>> underside, which received a thorough rubbing.
>> Anyway, the dog you receive may be entirely different from mine--it might
>> be a dog that surrenders its love immediately--or it may be a dog that
>> initially wants nothing to do with you, as Bailey seemed to be. I guess my
>> point is to spend time with the dog. The instructors will tell you before
>> you receive your pup that "this isn't the time to be calling mom or dad or
>> sending messages--this is the time for you to get to know your dog." This
>> is something I took to heart--I looked forward to spending time with the
>> dog. Sending messages on my iPhone or uploading pictures to Facebook was
>> the last thing I wanted to do--I put all my attention on the dog and I
>> believe I won him over all the more quickly for having done so. So, my
>> advice in a sentence: Listen to what the instructors say and be patient;
>> give it time, energy, and love.
>> I don't think the bonding process is a rocket science--you don't need a
>> textbook to tell you how to love someone--you just need to give the
>> devotion and the time and the rest falls into place. You will learn what
>> your dog wants and expects, and your dog will do the same. I hope this
>> message helps--I would say not to feel anxious or nervous about meeting
>> your puppy, but having been there very recently, I can't realistically
>> expect that. Just do what feels necessary and devote your time, energy,
>> and patience to getting to know your dog.
>> Sincerely,
>> Robert Hooper
>> Hooper.90 at buckeyemail.osu.edu
>> The Ohio State University
>> 0653 Buckeye-Cuyahoga CT
>> 653 Cuyahoga Court
>> Columbus, Ohio 43210
>> (740) 856-8195
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nagdu-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
>> Of Nicole B. Torcolini at Home
>> Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 11:20 PM
>> To: NAGDU Mailing List, the National Association of Guide Dog Users
>> Subject: Re: [nagdu] the bonding process
>>
>> It really depends on your dog. Your dog may just want to sit beside you,
>> or he/she may want to snuggle with you more than just sit. Some dogs
>> really like to interact where as others are just content to sit and be
>> petted.
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Reinhard Stebner" <raydar11011 at yahoo.com>
>> To: "'NAGDU Mailing List,the National Association of Guide Dog Users'"
>> <nagdu at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 7:06 PM
>> Subject: [nagdu] the bonding process
>>
>>
>>> When one first receives their dog, what is the best thing to do? I have
>>> heard talking to their dog with a calm voice. I will be going to the
>>> Seeing
>>> Eye on 4/16 and wanted to know how to best insure I bond with my dog.
>>>
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>>
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-- 
Julie McG
 Lindbergh High School class of 2009, National Federation of the Blind
of Missouri recording secretary,
and proud graduate of Guiding Eyes for the Blind

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that
everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal
life."
John 3:16