[Nfbf-l] Lets slice lemons in lemonville!
REPCODDS at aol.com
REPCODDS at aol.com
Wed Apr 1 23:21:08 UTC 2009
Wow , I can't wait for all those bars!
Man oh man, can we have a sock hop and practice
some doo wop in da halls.
I bet you can even snag a drag there too.
later,
Big Bopper
In a message dated 4/1/2009 6:24:35 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
minichiellog at comcast.net writes:
I aplaud you Dan. That was great!
Maybe the board should discuss a multi-year contract and see if they will
give us a better rate.
Gina Minichiello, Board Member
National Federation of the Blind of Florida
Treasurer, Greater Jacksonville Chapter
minichiellog at comcast.net
----- Original Message -----
From: Dan Hicks <danjhicks at yahoo.com>
To: nfbf-l at nfbnet.org, NFBF-Leaders at yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, 1 Apr 2009 11:09:13 +0000 (UTC)
Subject: [Nfbf-l] Exciting Changes in Our Upcoming Convention
Fellow Federation Convention Enthusiasts.
Please read this announcement carefully and in its entirety. It contains
important information.
Have you grown tired of NFBF Conventions because they are always being held
in Florida's nicest, most comfortable hotels? Are you weary of carpet on the
floors, the availability of room service, and air conditioning? Well, if this
is you, will be thrilled at the changes the National Federation of the Blind
of Florida is making to our upcoming NFBF State Convention.
The changes were announced at a special press conference, held earlier
today.
NFBF President Kathy Davis began with a momentous announcement, before
taking questions.
"As you all know, the state of Florida has recently been impacted with
revenue shortfalls. In order to conserve funds, our legislature has closed some of
our state's facilities of incarceration. One of these is the Lemonville
State Penitentiary in Sunshine County, a facility which, until recently, housed
more than 500 inmates. Rather than let the penitentiary go vacant, we have
decided to use it to hold this year's state convention. This is the first
convention we have held in beautiful Sunshine County, which is located somewhere
south of Tallahassee and somewhat north of Miami."
First Vice President Dwight Sayer said, "You could say we art taking
Lemonville, and making lemonade.
Second vice President Dan Hicks said, "We are only the second state
affiliate to hold its convention in a prison. The Kansas affiliate recently held its
state convention at Leavenworth Penitentiary. However, they sound found it
may have not been a good idea to hold the convention at a facility which is
still in being utilized to house inmates. But, being as Lemonville is officially
closed, we won't have to deal with any unnecessary confusion or hostage
situations or anything like that."
NFBF Board Member Betty McNally said "The local chapter of Florida's Ex-Cons
has already put Braille on all the cells. I am pleased to say that it is
almost 90 per cent accurate. You really don't want to criticize the work those
guys do."
NFBF President Kathy Davis introduced Elvira Grundlespike, who used to be
the chief warden at the Lemonville facility. Grundlespike said, "We are really
happy to have your club meet at our lovely penitentiary. It has been fully
cleaned and decorated, with most of the graffiti removed or painted over."
NFBF Secretary Sherri Brun asked about banquet and meeting facilities.
Grundlespike said that the prison features several classrooms, which will
work great for the seminars and breakout sessions. There is also a large chow
hall, which will be suitable for all general sessions and the banquet. The
kitchen is adequate for a group twice the size of that expected to attend the
NFBF convention.
NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to save a lot of money!"
Grundlespike, who still wears a holster even though she no longer carries a
gun, said, "We will provide all eating utensils. We have an enormous supply
of tin cups, most with few or no dents in them." She added quickly, "Oh, I
hope I am not being disrespectful to offer tin cups to blind people. I meant no
offence."
Kathy Davis assured her that none was taken and that the members of the
organization would need something to drink from during the Manger's Reception.
"Oh, that reminds me," Grundlespike added, "This prison used to be Sunshine
County's number one industry. Since it closed, the area has had to live on
income from our local wineries. We have some very good vintages. The Sunshine
County Winery has agreed to donate 2,000 boxes of its finest whites, blushes,
and reds to you for your convention."
"Wow," said Dwight, "that is very generous of them. Tell me, how many
bottles are in each box?"
"Oh, there are no bottles," said Grundlespike. "The wine itself comes it
one-liter boxes, but each comes with its own drinking straw. And, I can assure
you it is delicious."
Board member Gina Minichiello said, "There are enough cells that each person
can have his or hew own, though most of us will want to double up. Many of
the cells have bunk beads, so families can share. Each cell has its own
bathroom -- well bathroom area. Each cell has its own sink and...uh...facilities.
They are all very clean, I have been assured. At first I was concerned about
privacy. There is space between those bars, you know. But there isn't enough
light for anyone to see much of anything."
Former Warden Grundlespike said, Lights out is at 10:00 PM. After that
everybody is blind!...Oh, I didn't mean to cause offense."
"None taken," Kathy said. "Are there any questions?"
NFBF Board Member Sabrina Deaton said, "I am concerned that there aren't any
nearby restaurants or bars for those who wish to travel outside the
penitentiary grounds."
Ms. Grundlespike answered, "Well, there is great food in the chow hall.
Their oatmeal is out of this world. We have all of that free wine. The winery
wasn't able to sell much of it after that silly recall business, but I assure
you it is delicious. There are no nearby restaurants, it is true, but we have
many, many bars." She laughed, uproariously.
NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to save a lot of money!"
Dwight Sayer said, as a fundraiser, we will be taking pictures of members
and guests, seated in "Old Sparkly," world's only rhinestone-studded electric
chair. He added, "Don't worry. The power is turned off and the chair is
unplugged. I'm not making that mistake again.
Board Member Sherrill O'Brien said, "We have discovered a supply of
thousands of brand new, very stylish, orange jumpsuits. These will make great door
prizes and we can sell some of them with boxes of wine at the auction."
NFBF Board Member Betty McNally said, "After we get the license place making
machinery up and running, we will be making and selling special Whozit
license plates. This will be after we get legislative approval, of course."
NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to raise a lot of money!"
She then asked about the availability of a sound system.
Grundlespike answered, "The chow hall has a great PA system. When Johnny
Cash played Lemonville, there was a bit of commotion from the more avid fans,
and he had to depart rather quickly, leaving his sound system behind. We have
been using it ever since. And, hey, if it's good enough for Johnny, it ought
to be good enough for you folks."
So there you have it. The exciting announcement about our upcoming
convention.
Anybody who takes this too seriously should just look at the date this
message was sent.
For the real -- non-April Fools Day -- information about our upcoming NFBF
State Convention, go to:
http://www.nfbflorida.org/upcoming/convention-2009.htm
We hope to see you all there!
Dan
"If you are going to walk on thin ice,
you might as well dance."
- Inuit Proverb
"If you are going to walk on thin ice,
you might as well dance."
- Inuit Proverb
_______________________________________________
Nfbf-l mailing list
Nfbf-l at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfbf-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Nfbf-l:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nfbf-l_nfbnet.org/minichiellog%40comcast
.net
_______________________________________________
Nfbf-l mailing list
Nfbf-l at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nfbf-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Nfbf-l:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nfbf-l_nfbnet.org/repcodds%40aol.com
**************New Low Prices on Dell Laptops – Starting at $399
(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1220631247x1201390185/aol?redir=http:%2F%2Fad.doubl
eclick.net%2Fclk%3B213540506%3B35046329%3Bx)
More information about the NFBF-L
mailing list